Your thoughts on university

claire21

whodathunkit wrote: »

It seems very unusual for a parent to find the money to send two children to private school and then not take much interest in what they do there!

It's 3 actually. I did breifly explain why I sent them there and it was the experience rather than the qualifications. And I do agree with you that I need to pay more interest but think that the time is about coming for that now with the onset of the oldest GCSEs. I do make sure all home work is done and they all get 1 or 2 for effort at school and ABC for attainment. I have been more interested that they enjoy the school experience.

claire21

Quote:

To the OP: I am slightly incredulous that you should send your children to fee-paying schools (and therefore given thought to their education) and not once had a thought about their future, which would naturally raise the uni question among other possibilities?

The eldest is 14, the next just turned 13, the next 11. As yet they have no idea what they want to do, I have no idea what they want to do, how can you think about their future when nobody knows. They could well say they want to go travelling, do volunteer work, be an astonaught. Nobody in my family has been to uni. My parents never discussed my future...I just went and got a job , but as I can see from this thread I now understand it's not that easy. My parents and I never did A levels, there was never a subject I liked enough. I feel really dishartend that people got a degree and work in call centres or as a receptionist, that would make me feel so depressed. Ps I'm self employed and think that's probably one of the reasons why I have little understanding of how employment is nowerdays.

Bennifred

Good for you Claire, for finding out about how things are in education these days. It is better to make decisions from a position of understanding of how things work.

Your children are still very young, though, and things may well heve changed again before they are deciding their future, so relax and let them find out what they are good at and enjoy doing now. It'll all come out in the wash, as my ma used to say!

whodathunkit

nickj wrote: »

how many jobs actually require a degree, when only the cream went to uni then a degree was probably special , now every tom !!!!!! and sally have one then surely their worth is diluted
if you look at some of the people who have done well in business who never wnen to uni, but just worked their way up , gaining experience and learning their trade on the way , i think alan sugar started selling car aerials out of the back of a van , duncan banantyne started of by buying an ice cream van , seeing and exploiting oportunities , be willing to take risks ,being ruthless and hard work is the key to success , obviously there are some jobs that need a degree , but there are a lot now that having a degree is required but probably not neccesary

Not everybody wants to work in business, much less work for themselves. The people you mention are the exceptions, not the norm.

claire21

Bennifred

I do feel quite ashamed that I am so out of touch and have really learnt a lot from this thread. I am sure when the eldest has to make some more decisions about his future he will be more clued up than me but at least I will have an understanding of what his decisions mean to his future.

I am in a very fortunate position financially and if he said that he wanted to go and work as a volunteer with the National Trust (after his work experience week) I would happily help support him financially. They will all have to stand on their own feet but if I feel they are trying the best they can I will help them where needed. I really just want them to be employed in something they like but obviously something that gives them a good standard of living is a plus. I would rather see a bit of get up and go and some drive and determination than a qualification if I'm frank.

whodathunkit

claire21 wrote: »

Quote:

To the OP: I am slightly incredulous that you should send your children to fee-paying schools (and therefore given thought to their education) and not once had a thought about their future, which would naturally raise the uni question among other possibilities?

The eldest is 14, the next just turned 13, the next 11. As yet they have no idea what they want to do, I have no idea what they want to do, how can you think about their future when nobody knows. They could well say they want to go travelling, do volunteer work, be an astonaught. Nobody in my family has been to uni. My parents never discussed my future...I just went and got a job , but as I can see from this thread I now understand it's not that easy. My parents and I never did A levels, there was never a subject I liked enough. I feel really dishartend that people got a degree and work in call centres or as a receptionist, that would make me feel so depressed. Ps I'm self employed and think that's probably one of the reasons why I have little understanding of how employment is nowerdays.

Many teenagers have ideas of what they want to do, even if they change their minds later. Most parents (and decent schools) would be discussing this with (at least) the 14 year old who will be making subject choices soon, so needs to understand what doors may be opened or closed by his/her decision.

You've done the right thing by asking questions on here and may not be in a better place to help your children explore their options.

VJsmum

Whilst my work hat is University Lecturer, my parent hat is having two kids, one of whom is about to embark on a University life, the younger one adamantly (at the moment) says he doesn't want to go.

My DD is going off to do what some would consider a very "woolly / weak" whatever other words were used, course (performance based) at a University that, whilst not an ex Poly, is not "Russell Group". She is likely to get A/ A / B in her A levels and some are questioning why we are "letting" her do that and not "making" her do something more academic. My answer is that it would be very hard to stop her - we could refuse to fund her living expenses, I guess, but she would hate us forever. I can't imagine any parent doing that - she has wanted to do this since she was 9 years old and has never wavered.

My less academic (but probably cleverer) DS doesn't want to go to Uni, and probably couldn't cope with the work load. he wants to be a train driver and has ever since he was 4 or 5. Yes, I know many small boys want to be train drivers, but he is now 15 and still wants to. he knows it's quite hard to get into, he knows all the pitfalls (his dad works for a train operating company) and he knows he's got to start in the ticket office or on the platform. I am more than happy for him to do this, and can see him climbing the management ladder eventually, as he has the nous and the personality for it.

I guess it is about finding the right path for each child based on ability and interest. My DD HAS to do this - to stop her would be like stopping an avalanche. My Goddaughter, on the other hand, very able, very driven, is studying English literature at a Russell Group Uni, still has no idea what she wants to do and thought this looked "OK" and they have a good dance society. I am curious how things will pan out with these two girls.

Buzzybee90

VJsmum wrote: »

Whilst my work hat is University Lecturer, my parent hat is having two kids, one of whom is about to embark on a University life, the younger one adamantly (at the moment) says he doesn't want to go.

My DD is going off to do what some would consider a very "woolly / weak" whatever other words were used, course (performance based) at a University that, whilst not an ex Poly, is not "Russell Group". She is likely to get A/ A / B in her A levels and some are questioning why we are "letting" her do that and not "making" her do something more academic. My answer is that it would be very hard to stop her - we could refuse to fund her living expenses, I guess, but she would hate us forever. I can't imagine any parent doing that - she has wanted to do this since she was 9 years old and has never wavered.

My less academic (but probably cleverer) DS doesn't want to go to Uni, and probably couldn't cope with the work load. he wants to be a train driver and has ever since he was 4 or 5. Yes, I know many small boys want to be train drivers, but he is now 15 and still wants to. he knows it's quite hard to get into, he knows all the pitfalls (his dad works for a train operating company) and he knows he's got to start in the ticket office or on the platform. I am more than happy for him to do this, and can see him climbing the management ladder eventually, as he has the nous and the personality for it.

I guess it is about finding the right path for each child based on ability and interest. My DD HAS to do this - to stop her would be like stopping an avalanche. My Goddaughter, on the other hand, very able, very driven, is studying English literature at a Russell Group Uni, still has no idea what she wants to do and thought this looked "OK" and they have a good dance society. I am curious how things will pan out with these two girls.

Not all parents fund living expenses!

claire21

whodathunkit wrote: »

Many teenagers have ideas of what they want to do, even if they change their minds later. Most parents (and decent schools) would be discussing this with (at least) the 14 year old who will be making subject choices soon, so needs to understand what doors may be opened or closed by his/her decision.

You've done the right thing by asking questions on here and may not be in a better place to help your children explore their options.

The eldest has picked his GCSE subjects , he's not an arts drama boy so they are all probably what I would call mainstream subjects, so I don't think he's closed any doors. He wasn't good enough to do triple science so the school made that decision for him. He's top set at maths and this year has started business studies that he enjoys. He's pretty good at English and History (history was his preferred subject so dropped geography) they were pushing towards a language and he's taken French as he's top at that in class....even though I never really heard him speak it in the 8 weeks we were in France last year...only to a girl he met!

stebiz

Let them be who they want to be Claire. If they want to go let them. If they want to stay at home and study let them. Be there for them.

My daughter went to a Grammar school and left in 6th form. She got Top grades in her GCSE's (All A's and A*s) but she also found that most of the kids were so far up their own backside because Mummy and Daddy wanted the best Red Brick Uni for them, little did they know that the decisions were being made for them.

Mine is now doing a couple of years at College for her A levels and then who knows. Too much pressure on them. Let them enjoy life. Seeing how some of those snotty kids are coming out of school thinking how better they are than others puts me off this education upper class altogether.

A down to earth guy/girl with morals and a steady average job or a Osborne/Cameron daughter/son, with I'm so much better than you attitude, I know what I'd prefer.

Oh and incidentally I left with 1 O'level in the 1980's have a great wife, lovely kids, new car, a few houses I rent out.