The other step parent / partner and presents from kids

Buzzybee90

I'd expect the dad to give the little one some money to sort it themselves.

Tashatutuw

claire21 wrote: »

I too buy from the kids for their father, again his wife has not taken on this role.

I think this is fair - I wouldn't necessarily expect her to buy presents from your children but I do think its odd that you buy for her - if your ex-husband feels she should receive something from the children then HE should be the one to buy it. I would maybe buy a card from you for Christmas if you have an amicable relationship but he should take care of everything for her. Also, I don't think you should buy her anything for Mothers Day as she is not their Mother - you are!

claire21

Regarding Mother's Day

Both my ex husband and current husband receive Father's Day presents from the kids. I think my husband who the youngest was only 9 months old now 11 when we got together would be miffed if he didn't get something on that day, he thinks of them as our children etc.... (Yes I know he's not biological their dad)

I thought it would be thoughtful for the kids to get her Mother's Day card etc as they go there every other weekend and I'm pretty sure ex husband would not have even thought about it.

Again when we speak we all get on fine and I would like to think she did care about the kids even though they are not biologically related.

I do understand mothers Father's Day is a whole other subject though.

I like to think I'm a thoughtful person and it's not a big deal to me , just when he sounded miffed I did feel like it was just expected of me rather than a grateful gesture but I guess I made the rod for my own back if you can call it that.

Like I said I will have a word at Xmas and I'm sure it won't be taken the wrong way, he will just need to be a bit organised.

jacqszoo

If you were to remarry, would your ex think to buy presents from your children to your new man?

ellay864

When my kids were younger I'd buy their presents to their dad but never anything for his gf now wife. But then I personally wouldn't p*** on her if she was on fire! Seriously though I have nothing to do with her, have no idea when her birthday is and frankly don't consider her as anything to do with me. She's only in my kids' lives due to their dad so I expect him to sort anything out for her

FBaby

I have always gone with my children wanted. When they were younger, I would give them some money and take them to town. They are now the same age then yours, get pocket money and it is up to them whether they get her something. They usually get her a card for birthday and small present for Christmas. Never mother's day card (or Father's day card for my husband) and I have to say that suits me as I would feel a bit hurt if they did. She is a nice step-mother, but doesn't take on the role of mother. She certainly never deals with the not so nice part of being a parent, starting with spending any money on them, taking time of work to take them to appointments, or stay in the freezing cold during their outdoor activities!

Looking at it the other way, does your ex ensure the kids get you something for Christmas/birthdays, or even for your partner? My ex has never and would never contemplate to do so.

peachyprice

It depends, you haven't said whether she has a new partner.

If he she has a new partner then it's the new partner's responsibility, I stopped sorting out gifts for my boy's father when he remarried.

If she hasn't then it's your husbands responsibility, he could ask you if you would mind picking something up, but ultimately it's never your responsibility to do so.

Saint_Chris

wow not only do you have your own things to do, your helping your ex out..........pfft, fellas some have it easy.


My daughter is a step mum, to a little 8 year old boy and they have there own daughter who's 3
and his mum has a new partner, so he has a step dad, they also have a little girl, who's 3


each look after their own family, so my daughter takes her daughter and step son, shopping to buy for their dad.
and the dad, does the shopping for the mum/stepmum.


and the ex does the same for herself and her partner.


They do send a family Christmas card to each other.


And as both have little girls aged 3, they send each little girl a card and present for Christmas and birthdays....

Wilma33

Was he miffed because you normally do it and suddenly you are expecting him to do it without much notice? He probably doesn't mind doing it, but these things should be sorted out well in advance so it's clear. If you have done it every other year then it seems perfectly reasonable that he thought you would sort it this year too if you hadn't mentioned anything.

claire21

Thanks all

Wilma yes I think that was it, we had been away on holiday, and driving home on Thursday the kids suddenly mention it's her birthday tomorrow, so I phoned him that evening to say we had been away and hadn't got anything from the kids, could he get something and he said yes he would pick something up , so he was fine about just his tone was off. Which I can properly understand as it was short notice and I have let it become standard that I do it.

I will have a word and make it clear for Xmas and then everybody knows where they are.