When people turn out to be not nice as you thought

marisco_2

I have come to accept that at some point anyone can surprise you, over how they approach or react to situations in life. Honestly who hasn't sat down at the end of a day, reflected on things and thought to themselves 'yeah I could have handled that more appropriately'. Or maybe that is just me

Through my work and in my personal life I think I have come across every side of human nature possible. It doesn't knock my confidence, nor make me question if I am a good judge of character, if someone I know behaves in ways I dislike. We are all only human and prone to having bad days and making mistakes now and again. I consider how a person conducts themselves and treats others overall, and don't feel much concern when there are rare incidences of poor choices.

Person_one

I have to say, I do think its incredibly unkind of her family to make comments suggesting that she only separated from her husband to get attention. If they've been apart for nearly a year then it was clearly a serious problem and they should have been supporting her.

If that's the kind of family she's grown up in, maybe its no surprise that she's not always very good at treating people properly.

You never have to be friends with somebody you don't enjoy spending time with, or don't really like. You can walk away guilt free, but it sounds to me like she's not the only 'bad guy' in the drama.

Guineapigsqueaks

Prima Donna - Italian, originally leading female singer in opera, contemporary use: anyone behaving in a demanding or temperamental fashion or has inflated view of herself.

Pre-Madonna - 1982 ;-)

Guineapigsqueaks x

GobbledyGook

Person_one wrote: »

I have to say, I do think its incredibly unkind of her family to make comments suggesting that she only separated from her husband to get attention. If they've been apart for nearly a year then it was clearly a serious problem and they should have been supporting her.

If that's the kind of family she's grown up in, maybe its no surprise that she's not always very good at treating people properly.

You never have to be friends with somebody you don't enjoy spending time with, or don't really like. You can walk away guilt free, but it sounds to me like she's not the only 'bad guy' in the drama.

Oh no I worded that wrong. They aren't saying she only separated from him because of that. It's more that she was leaving him, then she wasn't, then she was, then she wasn't, then she was and then they were buying a nice new house, and then she was leaving and then she wasn't....

Then all of a sudden the day after her brother announces his engagement (and she knew he was proposing the night before), and when the family were all together for a meal in she comes declaring it over, floods of tears, etc etc. She'd been 'mulling it over' for the weeks before and it's not the first time they split up and I doubt it'll be the last. I've only known her 4 years and I've helped her move out 6 times. The timing of all her dramas tend to happen when the attention is on one of her brothers for 5 minutes. I'd just always gave her the benefit of the doubt before, but this time she's just being selfish and quite nasty. It seems she'll be quite happy if she spoils her brother's wedding.


Anyway she has declared me a rubbish friend (in less polite words) and sent me a text detailing all of the times I've been a rubbish friend (including one time where I cancelled at short notice - which she has forgotten is because my daughter was ill). So I've wished her well in her life ahead and deleted her number.

thehappybutterfly

You're well rid. Don't feel bad about being "too trusting" because we can only, and really should, form our own opinions about people based on personal experience and not by the experience and opinions of others. Im an incredibly trusting person and when friends/staff members/relatives etc. have warned me about someone I reserve judgement. Ive listened to too many rumours and gossip, then formed a poor opinion of someone only to find out it's either untrue or just THEIR opinion.

I give everyone the benefit of the doubt until I'm personally negatively affected. Now that you've seen it for yourself you can decide whether or not you like her.

BTW, she sounds like a bloody nightmare!

Cottage_Economy

Good for you.

I am now longer in contact with a friend who was 'me, me, me' all the time, each conversation loaded with a sting in the tail to make others feel inadequate.

In the end I caught her out lying through her teeth to try and manipulate me into doing something that would benefit her, but ultimately in the long run not me. She had confused herself with all her lies, and I had a moment of clarity about what she had tried to do. She tried to screw me over for £2,000.

The scales fell from my eyes. I thought of all the times in the previous years when my intuition and gut had flagged her behaviour and I ignored it, thinking that no, she wouldn't have done that to me. When people spoke about her negatively I defended her. I was quite upset for about a week when I realised yes she had done a lot to me and taken advantage of me.

I quietly walked away. No big drama, no calling attention to her behaviour, not that she would have listened. Everything would have been turned back on me a being too sensitive, or I misheard, or I misunderstood, or I was just plain wrong. I stopped calling her. Stopped responding to her calls. No christmas cards, no birthday cards any more.

After five years she's just tried to make contact with me on LinkedIn. I still don't want someone like that in my life.