6k in debt and just no hope

fatbelly

DanFish wrote: »

My net income is £1200 per month and my monthly outgoings are as follows:-

Rent £450
Water £17
Council tax £100
Gas £50
Electricity £50
Telephone/mobile/internet £20
TV licence £12
Child maintenance £100
Food, toiletries, cleaning £200
Personal & Leisure £30

Hi

Your I/e shows £171 surplus.

How much do you spend on travel? You gave no figure.

If zero, then it looks like a dmp may be the way forward 171 x 35 = 6k, so debt-free in 3 years.

If >£121 then your surplus is less than 50, and so you should look at a Debt Relief Order to see if it would suit.

Little_Miss_Winner

DanFish wrote: »

I have a house, i live alone but have my son around 3-4 days a week.
What about a lodger? If you have a spare room that could potentially bring in £200-200 a month?

i reckon i could cut back on my shopping around £40 a month.
We are a family of 5, including 3 constantly hungry kids .. I spend about £70 a week, that includes all breakfasts, packed lunches and evening meals... everything we could possibly need for a week. Toiletries etc.. Try Aldi... Lidi?? Some here on MSE can feed there family on £20 a week!! not sure how..but needs must sometimes.
£200 is verrrrry excessive!
i have nothing to sell of any value unfortunately.

The gas and electric are a little high as this is what i ahve been spending over the winter months these should reduce.
Ring them now, and see if you are in credit? if so, ask them to reduce monthly DD

I've started to cycle to work to cut out my transport costs and also to reduce my gas bill a little as i now shower at work.
Very MSE

I'm going to ask my ex partner if i can reduce the Child maintenance payments to 50 a month for a while until i get back on my feet.
Especially as you have him 4 days a week?

I would like a second job but i'm working full time at the moment and would find it difficult to fit in and still have time with my son as the time i spend with my son is the only thing thats getting me through and its the only time i feel happy.
There's lots of other ways to cut down, shop about, read MSE, and keep reading, and reading there's 100's of ideas to utilise every penny of the money you do have coming in.

Answered above .

Little_Miss_Winner

DanFish wrote: »

I've started to cycle to work to cut out my transport costs and also to reduce my gas bill a little as i now shower at work.

Do you mean public transport or do you own a car as well?

I really don't know much about these payday loans etc you have.. perhaps someone else can advise you how to go about writing to these companies? Sure there is a template letter on here somewhere.;)

DanFish

It's a 2 bedroom house so no room for a lodger.

I do think my shopping is high i have included clothing in that also.
I think i'm going to have to start shopping around at the discount stores for things.

I'll give the energy provider a call today i dont think i'm in credit though but i'll give my meter readings and see.

My wage increases in July by £50 a month so that should help.

Thanks for all the advice i'm glad i signed up on here now. I feel a little better already a lot more optimistic thank you ever so much.

DanFish

Little_Miss_Winner wrote: »

Do you mean public transport or do you own a car as well?

no i dont own a car, i used public transport it was £15 a week for a weekly pass.

Kate_fixing_it

DanFish wrote: »

I have a house, i live alone but have my son around 3-4 days a week.
i reckon i could cut back on my shopping around £40 a month.
i have nothing to sell of any value unfortunately.

The gas and electric are a little high as this is what i ahve been spending over the winter months these should reduce.

I've started to cycle to work to cut out my transport costs and also to reduce my gas bill a little as i now shower at work.

I'm going to ask my ex partner if i can reduce the Child maintenance payments to 50 a month for a while until i get back on my feet.

I would like a second job but i'm working full time at the moment and would find it difficult to fit in and still have time with my son as the time i spend with my son is the only thing thats getting me through and its the only time i feel happy.

THIS, right here shows you there's hope. You are doing something to improve the situation.

I have a question regarding child maintenance (and I don't wish to pry in any way) but should you be paying any at all? This is coming from a person who has 2 children from a previous marriage an an ex that paid/pays nothing so I can understand your position to a degree but I feel very strongly that it's the responsibility of BOTH parents to support a child equally.

From the information given it's my opinion (and I may be wrong) that you care for your son 3 or 4 days a week (I'm assuming he sleeps at yours?) therefore you are responsible for caring for half the time and (I'm assuming again) footing the cost of his care). So you are paying out twice.

I'd also query whether, as you are taking on this cost, you are entitled to child tax credits to support you in doing this? It doesn't seem fair for one parent to receive all the financial support if the care of the child is equally shared.

All that aside, well done on coming here to seek help. You can do this and create a better life for you and your son.

Kate x

DanFish

If my ex partner went to the CSA it would cost me more than £100 a month, he stays 2 nights a week but i pick him up from nursery a once or twice a week depending on what shifts his mum is working.

I feel obligated to pay it my ex doesnt earn a lot so she does require help she has two children one from a previous relationship and the other father doesnt contribute at all, i've brought her other son up as my own so the contribution is really for them all.

She has her own debt problems aswell which is the main reason we split up we both want to sort our own lives out and then hopefully try again.

I wouldnt feel right as a father leaving any financial burden on my ex which would have a detremental affect on the 2 children.

Im sure she will be able to manage a reducction in payment but i dont think i could not pay anything at all.

Kate_fixing_it

DanFish wrote: »

If my ex partner went to the CSA it would cost me more than 100 a month, he stays 2 nights a week but i pick him up from nursery a once or twice a week depending on what shifts his mum is working.

I feel obligated to pay it my ex doesnt earn a lot so she does require help she has two children one from a previous relationship and the other father doesnt contribute at all, i've brought her other son up as my own so the contribution is really for them all.

She has her own debt problems aswell which is the main reason we split up we both want to sort our own lives out and then hopefully try again.

I wouldnt feel right as a father leaving any financial burden on my ex which would have a detremental affect on the 2 children.

Im sure she will be able to manage a reducction in payment but i dont think i could not pay anything at all.

Hi Dan, I see where you're coming from and you clearly love all three children. I suspect the CSA would actually suggest you pay less - their calculator says my ex should pay around £120 for two but I respect your decision on this. If you both hope to repair the relationship I can completely understand your reasoning and I applaud that.

The really nosey question now is she on the same page as you? Can you discuss ways to support each other in this? The bottom line is that one household is cheaper to run than two and if you are already working towards reconciliation could tackling this together bring you closer? You don't need to answer here (I'm in no position to question you) but it's something to think about.

Keep reading and posting, you will find a wealth of experience and support here. I wish you all the luck in the world in sorting this.

Kate x

longtermplanner

Just picking up one point I don't think anyone else has mentioned, You list Brighthouse - they are usually "rent-to-buy", so you have to keep paying the full amount or they come and take away whatever it was you bought.

They are also one of THE most expensive ways of buying anything, a complete rip off. See http://blogs.thisismoney.co.uk/2012/02/thinking-of-shopping-at-brighthouse-stop-dont.html. But that doesn't help you now.

DanFish

At the moment thats not an option with all the heartache my gambling caused and the pressures i put on her it's a bit too soon to be considering being back together properly. We said we would see where we are in 6 months and that was 2 months ago when i stopped gambling.
I'm keeping her updated on what i am doing and the help i am getting. We still spend time together as a family which is good.
I suppose now it's about getting my teeth stuck in and tackling these debts and sticking to the plan. I cant live like this anymore the constant worrying about who's knocking on my door and debt collectors ringing me at work. It ends now