need to get this off my chest

susiesue_2

ahhhhh!

my soon to be ex is being really difficult regrding when he has the kids.
i work weekends only and that is the only time i can work as im at uni



thanks, phew. im worn out.

Yarnman

He sounds like a real dead beat! He should be HAPPY to have his kids @ wkd

Kimitatsu

No you are not!

Does he pay you maintenance? If not he should be.

He is being very selfish if he cant see that you are working 7 days a week, just to support your kids.

Have you asked him why he wants the whole weekend to himself? Failing all of that is there anyone else who can have them (such as mum) over the weekend?

Hugs
x

TheWaltons_3

Horrible git - tell him fine, you'll pop the kids into childcare for the weekends only whilst you try to obtain good prospects for yourself and the kids -and you will take him for every penny he has got to pay for it

wifeforlife

:grouphug:

I bet your glad he's your ex now. If it was me I wouldn't even bother trying to reason with him, he's being very selfish and he cant even see it.

I would explain that you would love to have weekends with your kids to do fun things that you cant do on school nights and as your having to give up your income to do so, that you'll be informing CSA to retrieve his share of the maintenance to afford you to feed, house and clothe your children.

If you have other family near buy would they be willing to help out, I know how hard it is to find people to babysit I'm having the same bother with the summer holidays here and no childcare

Cate

susiesue_2

thanks you guys it really has helped getting it off my chest.

iam really stuck for child care. my sister lives a fair bit away and has got 4 of her own. and i don't have any parents availble. mom is mentally unwell and dad no longer with us. he knows this as well and is using the kids to hurt me for daring to leave him. i just keep thinking 1 more year then i qualify and can even move away.

i think he has got a new gf which is why he isn't interested in the kids anymore and she lives in scotland( we are in the midlands)

but what really hurts is the kids love him. esp dd aged 7. i encourage them to phone him ect when they dont see him. how can i say to them your dad doesn't want you this wkend ?

January20

He has a "weekend2: he has the 5 days that you have the children. What is he complaining about? It's not like he doesn't get time to himself!

Totally agree with what TheWaltons say!!

*Louise*

Oh....and when do YOU get a 'weekend' to yourself??

He sounds like a selfish so-and-so......he should be supporting you financially as well, some responsibility might do him good.:mad:

January20

susiesue wrote: »

thanks you guys it really has helped getting it off my chest.

iam really stuck for child care. my sister lives a fair bit away and has got 4 of her own. and i don't have any parents availble. mom is mentally unwell and dad no longer with us. he knows this as well and is using the kids to hurt me for daring to leave him. i just keep thinking 1 more year then i qualify and can even move away.

i think he has got a new gf which is why he isn't interested in the kids anymore and she lives in scotland( we are in the midlands)

but what really hurts is the kids love him. esp dd aged 7. i encourage them to phone him ect when they dont see him. how can i say to them your dad doesn't want you this wkend ?

You don't. However much it kills you to keep quiet, you just say that their Dad is busy/ can't have them. Don't put him down. The kids will soon get the measure of their father and you will have a clear conscience because you will have never said anything bad about him.

It's what happened with my DD. I never said anything bad (to her lol) about her father, but she has realised what he is like. It felt unbearable at times for me because he was such a b*****d, but it's worth it now And she's grown up to be a very balanced teenager (is that an oxymoron??? )

findingmyownway

Hmmm

Going against the grain a little here but i kind of see where he is coming from. I guess in his mind he is 'never' able to go out on a weekend night. I assume you work during the day (feel free to correct me if i'm wrong) so maybe he thinks you get chance to go out on the town after work and he doesn't. I know you probably don't party the night away if you have to work the next day but in his mind you could.

I don't know what the solution is but i do know it will come down to compromise. Maybe rather than give him 1 whole weekend 'off' one of you could arrange for his parents to have the kids overnight on the saturday for a change.

Its easy to blame the new girlfriend but its not always productive.

*Louise*

findingmyownway wrote: »

Going against the grain a little here but i kind of see where he is coming from. I guess in his mind he is 'never' able to go out on a weekend night.

I thought that at first...but he could always go out on the Friday night....