Divorce, both want to stay in home, what happens?

Noctu

Hi,
I'm asking this question on behalf of my uncle who is currently separated from his wife and it's looking like it will end in divorce. I would be most grateful for any advice on the below, I think it will probably be fairly straightforward but I'm reading conflicting things online and can't really get my head around it.

Main facts are:

- Uncle and wife been married for around 25 years
- House worth around £250,000, mortgage paid off many years ago. In this area the property is in a desirable area of town (2 bed terraces in a less desirable area, but not a terrible area (we live in it!!) sell for around £75,000)
- One child who is 18 years old and going away to University in September
- Wife cheated on Uncle and is living with new partner
- Uncle bought the house himself with his sole name on the deeds before he married wife, and paid all mortgage payments but wife contributed to bills sporadically and of course brought up their 18 year old child
- Around 2 years ago wife wanted her name on the deeds so they both went to solicitor and had the deed amended. In joint names now.

The sticking point:

- BOTH parties want very, very much to stay in the marital home. Neither party would be able to raise a mortgage themselves for half of the house's current value (I'm assuming this is how it works), i.e. £125,000, however Uncle may be able to raise funds if his Dad sold his home, worth around £125k, and moved in with him. This is the only way we can see around it.

I'm assuming the child does not figure in the equation much as she is 18 now and off to Uni soon?

Can a court force a sale so that neither of them get to live in the property?

Does it matter who petitions whom for divorce re: sale of the house?

My Uncle is very cut up about all this and does need to seek legal advice but is holding off on it as he hopes they will get back together. I'm assuming it's a fairly straightforward situation as there's no mortgage and no kids <18 years old so wanted to seek the advice of the kind people on this forum...

Many thanks.

Prothet_of_Doom

After a marriage that long, the court will just split all assets 50/50. it matters not who was at fault, whose name is on what, what assets you had before, who worked and who didn't, who squandered money, who saved it. They are treated as one entity and the split is straight down the middle. I think the limit is 2 years, before which a court would care more.

IF they agree on a value, amicably, and one or other can pay the other via a mortgage or loan or in this case a third party taking on the equity, then, one of them can buy the other out.
If they both want to stay, then, a court will have to decide, and go on balance. Personally I think they should agree a value, and toss a coin.
Until the actual divorce they can both live in the house, however horrible that might be.

My worry is the 18 year old. If they are going through this !!!! with parents so close to A levels, they may miss out on the grades.
I think both parents should put on hold all discussions until the end of JUNE.

Prothet_of_Doom

Oh and yes the court can force a sale, if there is no agreement or if no one can find the £125K to pay the other.

pmlindyloo

Basically there are 3 ways of sorting this out if the worse comes to the worse (Have they tried Relate/similar?):

1) Agree everything between them.
2) Seek Family Mediation - they will help sort everything out and draw up an agreement which them can be made into a legal document through a solicitor (cost involved but not as much as solicitor)
3) Go to a solicitor

Obviously gets more expensive from 1-3.

Here is a good overview of such situations with some useful links:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_relationship_problems_e/ending_a_marriage.htm#h_property_and_possessions

RAS

I would really suggest that both parents agree to park this issue until after their child has finished exams this summer.

That might give both of them time to talk to disinterested parties and gain some acceptance that the future is not going to be the same.

Caz3121

what other financial assets are there? - everything needs to go in the pot for divisions; savings, pensions etc

Noctu

Thanks to everyone who has replied.

You have picked up on something that we are very worried about and that is their 18 year old daughter. Personally I feel the wife has acted very badly in leaving and shacking up with another man right when her daughter is due to take her A-Levels. We are trying as a family to support the daughter but as you can imagine all she wants to do is go out with her friends! She always has a bed and an ear to bend here though. I tried not to put information about this on the first post as I don't want to be seen as unnecessarily 'taking sides' but we are all disgusted with his wife's behaviour! However there is blame on both sides as Uncle hasn't exactly been the most attentive and kind, so...

There are some savings (around £20k I believe from the endowment mortgage). She has a pension but he doesn't and that is something which also worries us. Will he have some sort of claim on her pension?

We also know she has at least one bank account registered to her parent's address (and suspect she has been squirrelling money away) and if it's true, I wonder if the courts would be able to a) find out about this - as she will deny it and try to hide it, b) take it into consideration upon divorce?

& so from what you have said, a court CAN force a sale of the house if neither party can agree who is to live in it and/or pay the other half of the value? Or they can look at it on balance and say, if one party (e.g. my Uncle) can pay half the value then they can take over the property?

Do you think it would sway a decision if the daughter said she wanted to live with her Dad when she comes home from Uni etc or would it not really matter? Daughter is also disgusted with her mother and wants to stay with her Dad.

duchy

No the "child" is eighteen so the court has no interest in what she wants.
If the wife has a pension then it is part of the marital assets just as his would be if he had one.

If they can't agree then a court can order them to sell the house and split the money fifty fifty. As said above the court has no interest in who did what -it's a lengthy marriage so 50/50 split is the most usual. If the wife hasn't worked for years and was a SAHM she *could* claim maintenance or ask for a bigger cut of the assets but if she has a pension I assume that is unlikely.

Very sad for the eighteen year old who obviously cares for both of her parents or wouldn't be so angry -but hopefully in time will see they were two unhappy people who are better apart than together. With exams so close I think maybe stick to a matter of fact approach like that rather than fueling the flames with your opinion of either of them. Neither sound blameless in all this and what has happened has happened and the important thing is to get the lass through her A levels and to uni.

RAS

Actually, the courts remain interested as long as the "child" is still at school, not just until her 18th birthday. Where is she living at the moments, as the courts would probably prefer that to remain stable until she goes to university?

When they divorce BOTH parties have to declare all their assets, whether that be a pension or savings. Failing to do so will result in a judge gettign extremely angry.

Given the age of the child, he should expect half for the pension value (this is an acturial calculation and one OP here said it is based on one third of the actual value), plus half the savings in addition to half the house.

I suggest they park this 'til July and then he serves divorce papers. Cost is the court fees.

However he needs legal advice on the financial settlement, even if they actually use a mediator.

hardpressed

Although at 18 she is no longer a child please try to get her parent to understand that she does still need a home even when she is at university. I clearly remember one of my son's friends at uni. His parents split up and both had new partners, this lad no longer had a 'home'. When he finished uni he was forced to live in a very run down bedsit because it was all he could afford, his parents though he was an adult and not their responsibility any more, there was no question of him being able to live with either of them until he manage to get on his feet.

Mojisola

From the starting point of 50/50 (including any money she might be hiding in other accounts), the couple can negotiate - maybe she would take less for her share of the house in return for him not taking any of her pension?