my mum wants to take my 3 year old on holiday with her...

Deals_2

i am not getting on very well with my mum who lives abroad. she has been driving my partner and me mad and constantly tryign to pry on our life. i know she is lonely and gets on really well with my daughter but i told her on the phone that taking our daughter on holiday was not a good idea (she is not old enough i told ) which is also true but in addition i dont think she keeps a proper eye on her and as we are abroad anyway i dont know where she intends to take her. i just wonder what are people's thoughts on it. she is a very meddling mum and the less i see of her the better i feel now. sad to say though.any ideas appreciated

January20

If you don't get on with your mother and you don't trust her to look after your daughter properly, then the answer is simple: No, don't let her take her on holidays. It doesn't matter if your mother is lonely.

As a mum myself, I have always rely on my instinct. If it doesn't feel 100% right, it doesn't happen!

Rupa

Agree with January 20. She's your child, your mother had her turn with toddlers, now it's your turn. My mother's lonely but that's her fault, my kids are not there to support her fragile mental state.

Curious_George_2

Rupa wrote: »

Agree with January 20. She's your child, your mother had her turn with toddlers, now it's your turn. My mother's lonely but that's her fault, my kids are not there to support her fragile mental state.

LMAO! well said!

Deals - I wouldnt want my mother taking my daughter on holiday in this country without me (which aint EVER happening) let alone abroad and my DD is 7,

when i look at my mother sometimes and hear the utter [EMAIL="cr@p"]!!!!!![/EMAIL] that comes out of her mouth im surprised all 3 of us kids survived!
(none of us like her around very much... but hey, we are all alive! lol)

Christmasshopper

Trust your instincts. You could either say, "No" or if you don't want to hurt her feelings you could say that you would prefer to leave it until your daughter is older.

skylight

January20 wrote: »

If you don't get on with your mother and you don't trust her to look after your daughter properly, then the answer is simple: No, don't let her take her on holidays. It doesn't matter if your mother is lonely.

As a mum myself, I have always rely on my instinct. If it doesn't feel 100% right, it doesn't happen!

Spot on.

If I am not comfortable the answer is No. Always.

rchddap1

I am 100% comfortable with my mum and would trust her with my little girl. I'd still want to know all the details mind you before I gave an answer anyway. However, if you don't feel confident in your mum then the answer is simple...without me being there...no.

It doesn't mean that you're nasty....just protecting your child. Well done to you.

Counting_Pennies_2

I completely agree with the others.

If she is determined to go on holiday, and you can bear it, how about suggesting she pays for you all to go to a Mark Warner or similar place where there is childcare to give you a break, but that she isn't a permitted person to take her out and you can take advantage of all the activities available to you in the day, you have separate apartments which you could arrange at different ends of the complex and she could babysit for you in the evening, so you don't have to eat supper together.

But that is an extreme solution if you don't like being with her the simple answer is no, you don't feel she is ready for such a break.

hth

ead

i get on with my mum 100% she lives 2 hrs from me and daughter is 8 the last 2 of yrs she has gone to stay from 4 days up to a week during the holidays.i have also allowed my mum to take my daughter to belfast for a long weekend as her family live there,first time she went to belfast she was only 2 and has been going every 2yrs since but only for a long weekend.

but agree with the others if your not 100% with the idea then say no

belfastgirl23

Three is far too young to be away from mum for more than a night I'd say. When your daughter is old enough to decide for herself it'll be a different matter. I think you're protecting your mum with this decision too, often older people can forget what it's like having a demanding 3 yo around all the time and it might well be a bit of a shock to her.

If anything happened your daughter neither you nor your mum would ever forgive yourselves so you are doing right by everyone by saying no.

daisy_doughnut_2

hello all

my DD first went away with my mum to spain when she was 9
i trust my mum 100%
but i made her go to the same place i had been taking my DD for yrs just incase she got lost ect
she was fine as i knew she would be but like most have said if it doesnt feel right then say no

daisy