Advice needed please

unsurewhichway

Thanks everyone, I have been viewing flats to rent in the area near her current nursery and also my parents house and managed a slight reduction in rent as well on one I got accepted on. So my plan is to rent for 6 months and try and clear my head a bit then see what position I am in to maybe buy or maybe work together with my 'ex'?

Guest101

unsurewhichway wrote: »

Hi again,

So ex-bf and I separated a month ago and I went to live with DD (age 2) at my parents house. We have been getting on civilly whilst being apart as long as we haven't discussed 'us' - as it seems we are set never to agree on anything and perhaps too much has been said/done now.

Anyway, my parents have asked me and dd to leave their house as my sister gets married in 2 weeks and mother has said she can't have me moping around there along with other choice words, so ex-bf has allowed me to stay on the sofa while dd sleeps in her own bed in the interim of finding somewhere to go. He's really enjoyed living apart from me so at present there will be no reconciliation on that front so now i need to pull my socks up and sort myself out.

My question for anyone who is able to help is in regard to housing.

I own a one bedroom flat that is currently rented out for £600 p/m with a very good/loyal tenant who has been there for 18 months. The mortgage is £652 a month and I also make a yearly payment of £1000 to the managing agency. So as you can see I do not 'earn' from this situation, purely use it to get the mortgage arrears down.
Up until now my ex has been paying the rent on the flat we lived in together.

A 2 bed flat locally to rent would be no cheaper than £600 p/m itself. I am not entitled to any help through tax credits etc as I have equity in the flat and my earnings are £24k per annum.

Would the best solution for now to rent somewhere with my dd but keep the tenant on in the flat for the meantime till I am a little bit more sure of what I'm doing - ie selling and moving on perhaps? Or would you sell now? I have been to an advisor to work out if I am able to port my mortgage, which I am, but I currently am out of the price range within the local area to buy. I do not want to move back to the owned flat with my dd as it is not a nice part of the town and the block has neighbours I have never managed to get on with as they smoke a lot of weed and the others play heavy drum and bass music through the night so wouldn't want her to grow up here even if for the short term.

I know ex-bf would need to give me some form of maintenance, and currently i pay my dd's nursery fees out of my wages at £500 p/m for 2 days a week, so would probably need to look into this as well.

I am getting very stressed by the whole situation and don't really have anyone I can speak to about it, so hence my new thread on here. Thanks in advance to anyone who might be able to help me with this

Just on the flat things: are u declaring the income to hmrc? U do need to even if it's not 'profitable'. Do u have consent to let?

As for the maintenance he needs to pay minimum 15% take home pay to u, but at the moment he wouldn't be paying anything as u are living in his flat and technically he is building up the days that he 'cares' for your child. If u stayed there for 6 months for example he would owe you nothing this year.

It's good that you have a civil relationship by the way, most important

unsurewhichway

Thank you, yes mine is all above board and have consent to lease agreement in place.

He has a 14 y/o son who he has a private arrangement with his mum so he already pays maintenance so as per the above it's supposed to be 10% i think but he's still thinking about an appropriate amount for me which I am sure wil be less than for his 1st child as there's more distance between them and he chose to leave her so has a massive guilt trip about that. I am sure if he is unreasonable I will have to pursue it further but as long as I get some help with nursery fees so I can continue working I should be ok

Floss

unsurewhichway wrote: »

...He has a 14 y/o son who he has a private arrangement with his mum so he already pays maintenance so as per the above it's supposed to be 10% i think but he's still thinking about an appropriate amount for me which I am sure wil be less than for his 1st child as there's more distance between them and he chose to leave her so has a massive guilt trip about that. I am sure if he is unreasonable I will have to pursue it further but as long as I get some help with nursery fees so I can continue working I should be ok

He will still be obliged to pay in accordance with what the CSA decide, so don't settle for a small amount if the indication is that you should get more - he has an equal obligation to both children, not one biased to the one he feels most guilty about.

Guest101

unsurewhichway wrote: »

Thank you, yes mine is all above board and have consent to lease agreement in place.

He has a 14 y/o son who he has a private arrangement with his mum so he already pays maintenance so as per the above it's supposed to be 10% i think but he's still thinking about an appropriate amount for me which I am sure wil be less than for his 1st child as there's more distance between them and he chose to leave her so has a massive guilt trip about that. I am sure if he is unreasonable I will have to pursue it further but as long as I get some help with nursery fees so I can continue working I should be ok

Ah sorry, then yes 10% each.

Bear in mind that might not cover half the childcare costs. Just so you know