Advice needed please

unsurewhichway

Hi again,

So ex-bf and I separated a month ago and I went to live with DD (age 2) at my parents house. We have been getting on civilly whilst being apart as long as we haven't discussed 'us' - as it seems we are set never to agree on anything and perhaps too much has been said/done now.

Anyway, my parents have asked me and dd to leave their house as my sister gets married in 2 weeks and mother has said she can't have me moping around there along with other choice words, so ex-bf has allowed me to stay on the sofa while dd sleeps in her own bed in the interim of finding somewhere to go. He's really enjoyed living apart from me so at present there will be no reconciliation on that front so now i need to pull my socks up and sort myself out.

My question for anyone who is able to help is in regard to housing.

I own a one bedroom flat that is currently rented out for £600 p/m with a very good/loyal tenant who has been there for 18 months. The mortgage is £652 a month and I also make a yearly payment of £1000 to the managing agency. So as you can see I do not 'earn' from this situation, purely use it to get the mortgage arrears down.
Up until now my ex has been paying the rent on the flat we lived in together.

A 2 bed flat locally to rent would be no cheaper than £600 p/m itself. I am not entitled to any help through tax credits etc as I have equity in the flat and my earnings are £24k per annum.

Would the best solution for now to rent somewhere with my dd but keep the tenant on in the flat for the meantime till I am a little bit more sure of what I'm doing - ie selling and moving on perhaps? Or would you sell now? I have been to an advisor to work out if I am able to port my mortgage, which I am, but I currently am out of the price range within the local area to buy. I do not want to move back to the owned flat with my dd as it is not a nice part of the town and the block has neighbours I have never managed to get on with as they smoke a lot of weed and the others play heavy drum and bass music through the night so wouldn't want her to grow up here even if for the short term.

I know ex-bf would need to give me some form of maintenance, and currently i pay my dd's nursery fees out of my wages at £500 p/m for 2 days a week, so would probably need to look into this as well.

I am getting very stressed by the whole situation and don't really have anyone I can speak to about it, so hence my new thread on here. Thanks in advance to anyone who might be able to help me with this

19lottie82

Your ex will need to pay a minimum of 15% of his take home pay. If he is going to have her overnight, then he can apply to have this reduced by 1/7 per night per week).

I'd advise you to get this sorted ASAP, so you can sort out a home for you and your DD.

Is there any equity in the property that you own? Is your tenant in a fixed term, or month to month contract?

RAS

Will you be claiming any benefits at all other than Child benefit? As I think owning another property has implications for your entitlement for some benefits.

I would advise that you check this out with CAB or another specialist benefits advisor before committing to a property rental that you may not be able to fund.

unsurewhichway

Thanks. He has another child aged 14 so it won't be 15% of earnings. He's asking me for reasonable proof of what he will need to pay going forward and said what he pays or has paid his ex is irrelevant for me. Which in a way I suppose it is. I am my entitled to any form of benefits as I have the flat

DS4215

unsurewhichway wrote: »

Thanks. He has another child aged 14 so it won't be 15% of earnings. He's asking me for reasonable proof of what he will need to pay going forward and said what he pays or has paid his ex is irrelevant for me. Which in a way I suppose it is. I am my entitled to any form of benefits as I have the flat

For two children, its normally 20% of his income. However, that is usually when both have the same mother. 10% per child would be fair on that basis until the older one leaves full time education.

unsurewhichway

He has a private agreement with his son's mother and has (overpaid massively over the years as he was the one who left and moved 2 hours away for work, so be it guilt or whatever he has made many allowances. this would not be the case for me as much more emotion involved and I believe he would just pay bare minimum or request my dd lived with him 50/50 to save having to help me out.

This obviously is a factor however I am really just wondering about my housing situation. Or maybe should I come off the property ladder entirely? I worked so hard to buy my flat (7 years ago now) and really don't want to have to get off if there's a chance I might not be able to buy in the future. I do have savings so am fortunate I would be able to utilise those also if necessary. Just not sure if I should look to sell and buy or sell or just rent privately for now?

I work a three day week but daily travel is 3 hours roundtrip so obviously travel is a consideration also. I think I can afford to pay that set amount a month but just unsure which decision to make and really need to ensure my dd and i have a place to live asap.

justme111

Sorry to hear you are under stress. It seems to me it is better to switch off the pressure to move asap and think it over and do the math.the obvious solution would be to move closer to your job and rent while trying to make income and outgoings on your own property to match , ie not overpay.see whether anybody can help you re childcare so that you don't have to pay nursery fees - parents , ex , friends, may be you could babysit for someone on your days off in exchange for childcare on at least one day while you are working

Oakie

Just on the fact you are out of pocket on the flat would make me inclined to sell it. You can sell it with a sitting tenant.
I would then look for a place somewhere closer to work.
Sorry to hear your mum isn't very supportive at the moment maybe she is stressed out with the family wedding.

unsurewhichway

Can't move closer to work as would be away from any of my friends/her nursery et. And don't want to move closer to London where I'm sure rent would be increased even more.

I don't want to lose my flat entirely as surely I would lose a fair bit of money and wouldn't be able to afford to buy again unless I sold it to buy somewhere else?

I thought it might be better to rent for six months while everything is up in the air and then see if after that I'm better off selling my flat and buying elsewhere when things might have calmed down a bit?

My net take home is £1400 a month so I think I should be able to handle it and he will have to contribute toward her nursery fees. My mum and dad have dd one day a week for me and she's in nursery the other two that I work so that is my support really. I know they still want to have her on the one day a week so that won't change. It's just a strained relationship with my mum and myself.

RAS

On that salary, you really do need to look at what help you can get with childcare costs, housing and Council Tax.

Go to www.turn2us.org.uk

AnnieO1234

What you need to do is work out how long is left to run on your tenants agreement and how long it will take you to get rid of them. Remember this could take up to a year. Do you have the money to rent somewhere temporarily for that time?

If I were you I would move into your own flat even if it's just for a few years while you move on with your life. You don't want to be dragging your daughter through a load of different six month tenancies for the sake of it let alone yourself. See if you can buy in your ideal area obviously by selling your flat.

Just remember you are not alone. Have a look at wikivorce (yes it's got the name wiki in it but that's just a marketing exercise and it's for everyone whether married or not).

Does your ex have parental responsibility? If not, this could be an longer process through the court if you need to sue for maintenance so please try to sort things amicably.

You have enough money I promise but may need to consider the costs of the job you do, childcare and travel. It may not pay you to continue to work in the role you are in. I know you said your parents son want you moping around (that may be their way of supporting you by giving you a kick who knows?) but could they perhaps take some of the childcare on? Could your ex?

Xx