rememberance table

jdvhsully

Hi, I am not sure if this is a bit morbid for a wedding so wanted to see other peoples opinions etc.


My daughter is getting married in July and unfortunately we have had 3 important family members pass away who should have been at the wedding. My daughters uncle (9 years ago), my aunt (October last year) and her fianc!'s grandfather (2 weeks ago).


We were discussing having a small table in the corner of the reception with their photo's on, and possibly a LED candle and some appropriate wording.


Has anyone done this, was it too upsetting for those whose wifes /husbands and partners are left behind etc?


Any thoughts and ideas.

mummyroysof3

I wouldn't have had one at my wedding unless it was one of our parents and maybe not even then. What does your daughter and her partner think of the idea as it's their wedding so upto them. If the go ahead then I would warn people so it's not a shock seeing it on the day. It's meant to be a happy day not for mourning those no longer here

davenport151

I personally do not take it as morbid, simply remembering those that cannot be there. Wanting to remember those special people on her special day.
What relatives are left behind that may be upset ? Is there an uncle that was married to the aunt (your brother/in law)? same with the grandfather.

Evil_Olive

My sister did this for our nan and her H2B's father and it was taken by the guests in the spirit it was meant as far as we are aware.
She did it because she wanted them to 'be there' in some way.
Both those people had died over a year before the wedding though.

She didn't use the word 'remembrance' or anything else associated with funerals, she just had a board that said simply 'Absent Friends - with us in spirit' with a couple of photos of them and a small floral decoration.

MissTeach

I'm planning on having a little photo frame with a picture of my grandad attached to my bouquet. My grandad died several years ago but it's important to me that we remember him on my wedding day.

My h2b's dad and nan died last summer and I asked him if he'd like their photos attached and he said no. I think he'll probably agree to us lighting a candle in church during the wedding ceremony though.

He thought it was a bit weird having photos in the church as we've seen this done on Pinterest with a little message saying "We know that you'd be here today, if heaven weren't so far away."

Anatidaephobia

jdvhsully wrote: »

Hi, I am not sure if this is a bit morbid for a wedding so wanted to see other peoples opinions etc.


My daughter is getting married in July and unfortunately we have had 3 important family members pass away who should have been at the wedding. My daughters uncle (9 years ago), my aunt (October last year) and her fianc!'s grandfather (2 weeks ago).


We were discussing having a small table in the corner of the reception with their photo's on, and possibly a LED candle and some appropriate wording.


Has anyone done this, was it too upsetting for those whose wifes /husbands and partners are left behind etc?


Any thoughts and ideas.

I've never seen this done at a wedding but I think it sounds like a lovely idea. If I was a guest and I saw something like this, I wouldn't find it morbid, I think I would find it very touching and a lovely way to include loved ones who can't be there in person.

We have had a number of significant losses in both our families, most notably my partner's mother who died a few years ago, so this is something we may think about.

74jax

I think there's many ways you can remember people without letting people know you are remembering them, if that makes sense.

We had lots, and lots, of touches that OH had thinking about his dad, but to a guest they wouldn't have noticed.

You could incorporate flowers, a small photo on a bouquet, centetpieces, a favourite drink, a song etc.

littlesnuggy

I agree with 74jax - I don't think you need a table with photos of these people on to remember them; they will be in your thoughts and you can have a private few moments/words amongst your family if you wish. You really don't need to make a public display of the fact that you are 'remembering' them in my opinion.

sharnad

If its what they want its sweet

minerva_windsong

I think it's a lovely way for your daughter and her fiance to remember their relatives.

My OH's sister got married a month after their cousin passed away, and he was mentioned in a couple of the speeches along with a toast to absent friends. Similarly at both my sisters' weddings my granddad, who died in 2000, was mentioned by name and included in the 'absent friends' toast, so it can be used for relatives who died some time ago as well.

I've also seen quite a few weddings where relatives are honoured in the way you've described - the photo was usually on the cake table or with the bride's bouquet during the reception but obviously you can put it where you like.

Anatidaephobia

littlesnuggy wrote: »

I agree with 74jax - I don't think you need a table with photos of these people on to remember them; they will be in your thoughts and you can have a private few moments/words amongst your family if you wish. You really don't need to make a public display of the fact that you are 'remembering' them in my opinion.

Of course you don't need to make a "public display" of remembrance but I don't see anything wrong with it if that's what someone wishes to do.