i think i know the answer....

meritaten

Sorry, but if the original falling out isn't an issue now - why is she interfering? this doesn't compute. to my mind if they are ok now, there is absolutely no reason she would mind you seeing each other. and to say that there could be problems in the future............well yes, you may fall out with friend, she could fall out with you, her family could fall out with him again.............the permutations are endless. but WHY would it stop you having a relationship with him.
your friend has a problem with you and him. and she isn't telling you the real reason.
or there is no reason and she just doesn't like you being together. because of HER feelings towards him.

theconfuzzledone

i just explained about the falling out as you asked about it not being something unforgivable.
shes never been this way before about anything and has always been really supportive even when i knew she didnt agree with the choices that i was making.
now im just thinking that she knows something about him that she doesnt want to tell me that would mean i wouldnt want to be with him but instead of telling me is doing this

meritaten

if she knew something about him which would harm YOU, then she would tell you wouldn't she? as she has no loyalty towards him. she is supposed to be your best friend, close as sisters in your words. yet she tells you not to get involved with him, tells him not to get involved with you. with no real reason!
I get the feeling you came on here thinking we would say 'finish it with him' and are puzzled why we aren't?
because we are seeing someone who is supposed to be a best friend trying to end a relationship for no good reason except she doesn't like it. I cant see why you shouldn't have a relationship with this man. you are both adults, both mature people, caring people as you seem to have fought against a relationship out of love for this 'friend'. but, WHY? there is no reason why you SHOULDNT be together.

theconfuzzledone

i think im just trying to think of excuses for her as she has never been like this before
we are talking and he has asked to take me out on a proper date and basically everything that you have all been saying
we have made our decision now she will have her chance to make hers when i see her tomorrow
thanks everyone as i said at the beginning i think i just needed that kick

JIL

I'm glad that I was able to read you had decided to 'go for it' . Your friend needs to realise its not just about her.
Best of luck on your date. I'm a big believer in fate.

LittleMrsThrifty

Good decision to go for it.

If you hadn't done, on account of your friend not waiting you to, your friendship would have been ruined and she would have lost you - and probably her Uncle too. This way she has a chance of keeping both of you.

FBaby

I understand how she feels. She cares deeply about both of you and wouldn't want to find herself having to potentially choose between you or get caught in the middle. However, I suspect she doesn't appreciate the fact that you are far beyond in terms of feelings that you really are, so doesn't appreciate what you'd be given up.

I would definitely go for it, but would talk to her first. Explain that your feelings are sincere and you really believe you can build something strong together. You can't predict the future but wouldn't put pressure on her if things went wrong. Tell her it would hurt you deeply if you had to give it up purely for her benefit and ask her how fair it would be, purely on the basis of pretecting herself if things didn't go well. I'm sure she will understand.

Pinzy

I'm going a little against the general consensus here..

Don't underestimate the power of "oh no we shouldn't" attraction.
If it develops into a great love, then fantastic, but if it turns out to be not as big a thing as you thought, then let it go early, before any resentment builds, which could lead to nastiness and a bitter break up, and your friend's fears end up coming true. She's clearly very dear to you, and it's important to try and allay her fears.

I wouldn't say avoid it completely, because you never know, it could be amazing. Just, if it's not quite right, don't hang on to it because you're trying to make it be what you thought it would be.

Threebabes

Good luck and hope your date goes well.

She needs to take a step back and see how your relationship develops.

BitterAndTwisted

If my best friend tried to dictate who I dated, her family member or not, I'd be questioning the value of that friendship.