House sharing - bf/gf blazing rows

nikanika0

Hi,
I share a house with 2 other tenants, and guys let their GFs stay over all the time. It annoys me beyond belief. My LL doesn't mind having partners staying over.

What makes me feel distressed is their BLAZING rows, where GFs are throwing things, slamming doors, screaming, kicking, crying... and BFs? aggressive and abusive.

I do bring up this issue from time to time for discussion, but I am being told, it's none of my business. All I want is to stop these violent things happening. I really do not know what to do.

da_rule

If it's affecting your quiet enjoyment then it may be worth complaining the LL/Agent.

Jenniefour

nikanika0 wrote: »

I am being told, it's none of my business. All I want is to stop these violent things happening. I really do not know what to do.

It is very much your business - you are living there and their behaviour is affecting you in a negative way. You should not have to put up with this. You could complain to the landlord but I suspect that this will not enhance your relationships with your house mates, unless the penny drops for them about what it's like being in your shoes. Maybe a better option is to consider finding somewhere else to live with people who have the same expectations about behaviour as yourself.

Strapped

Move.
(10 characters)

princeofpounds

This isn't really anything to do with the landlord, especially if you are all on a joint contract.

The LL might take it into consideration in terms of deciding whether to renew tenancies for particular individuals - taking the view that it is better to keep a quiet tenant than disruptive one - but they can't police it in the meantime.

As Jenniefour says, it is your business if they are being disruptive, but short of confronting them about their lack of considerate behaviour (and that has its own challenges) there isn't much you can do.

Of course, you could always leave some womens' underwear in their beds to be discovered by the girlfriend... shortly after that they won't have one, so no more arguments after the big one! (just kidding)

kyana

is this an hmo type situation where you don't know them?
i lived in a house with a similar issue. we were all connected through the same person (me and the other 3 each knew person X but not each other). after a few months it became clear that the couple had serious issues (girl was violent and abusive)
we mentioned to them individually that the situation was not good for them or for the rest of us. we asked them to either move out together, split up and one move out or seek counselling of some form. otherwise we would call the police to report domestic abuse. it went on for a few more months before they finally split.
you can call the police to report domestic abuse. this does not sound like a healthy situation.

DRP

Strapped wrote: »

Move.
(10 characters)

Yep. This doesn't sound like a situation which can be resolved by a sit down chat. Not easily anyway as it might just make things worse.

The beauty of renting is that you are (relatively speaking) free to go find a new place and leave the idiots behind.

AdrianC

nikanika0 wrote: »

I share a house with 2 other tenants, and guys let their GFs stay over all the time. It annoys me beyond belief.

If it wasn't for the rows, would this still "annoy you beyond belief"? If so, may I suggest you're probably not cut out for house sharing?

If it IS honestly just the rows, then - obviously - if there really is domestic violence going on, then that's a very different matter from merely your housemates being inconsiderate towards your feelings. But, without one of the partners involved viewing it as violence or abuse, in practice there's nothing at all you can do.

Either way, "move" is probably the only practical way that you can influence the situation.

Gordon_Hose

If these guys are being abusive, either verbally or physically, you need to call the Police.

Pixie5740

AdrianC wrote: »

If it wasn't for the rows, would this still "annoy you beyond belief"? If so, may I suggest you're probably not cut out for house sharing?

If it IS honestly just the rows, then - obviously - if there really is domestic violence going on, then that's a very different matter from merely your housemates being inconsiderate towards your feelings. But, without one of the partners involved viewing it as violence or abuse, in practice there's nothing at all you can do.

Either way, "move" is probably the only practical way that you can influence the situation.

When you share a house and your housemates have their GFs and BFs staying over all the time it is annoying and out of order. I personally know several cases where the visiting GF gets shirty if the other housemates dare to try and use the communal areas when she is trying to have a cosy night in with her BF and has been a right !!!!! about it. That's not on.

Rowing couples is even worse. Unfortunately the OP seems to be stuck with two rowing couples so is in the minority in the houseshare. Asking the visiting GFs to leave probably won't get the OP anywhere and whilst I agree that when there's violence the police should be involved the OP will most likely find that futile as well.

If this is a houseshare rather that everyone being on a joint tenancy I would contact the LL with my concerns. I would highlight that doors are being slammed and objects thrown to highlight the possibility of the LL's property and furnishing being damaged. If the LL does nothing I would find somewhere else to live and leave these couples to it.

AdrianC

Pixie5740 wrote: »

When you share a house and your housemates have their GFs and BFs staying over all the time it is annoying and out of order

Umm, no - it really is not. It's a part of life. Assuming you don't actually mean "all the time" - ie living there. Just visiting semi-regularly. If you're renting a room in the house from the LL, then "living there" would be an issue for the LL - who you've said doesn't object. If you're part of a group renting the entire property, then it's down to a vote amongst the group - and it seems clear that you'd be in a minority.

I personally know several cases where the visiting GF gets shirty if the other housemates dare to try and use the communal areas when she is trying to have a cosy night in with her BF and has been a right !!!!! about it. That's not on.

You're right, that isn't on - any more than you trying to prevent them from using the communal facilities would be. The communal facilities are communal, for everybody and their guests to share.