Giving Up all Hope....no future.....Help Please..

Danni-R

Hi,
thankfully I think that comment was meant for someone else. But my comment remains. If the OPs mental health is suffering and they are both out of work then the doctor can prescribe FOR FREE stop smoking aids. Plus if you dont have the money then tv has to go. OP cant expect help and support from randoms if she isnt willing to help herself.

OP, please come back and post your SOA so we can try and help.

Newyorkdreams

Danni-R wrote: »

Hi,
thankfully I think that comment was meant for someone else. But my comment remains. If the OPs mental health is suffering and they are both out of work then the doctor can prescribe FOR FREE stop smoking aids. Plus if you dont have the money then tv has to go. OP cant expect help and support from randoms if she isnt willing to help herself.

OP, please come back and post your SOA so we can try and help.

Have you ever stopped smoking Danni? Just curious as it sounds like you know how difficult it can be and that it takes more than a few stop smoking aids to make it stick.

I've got to be honest, I normally don't like getting into conflict on MSE but I do feel that there has been a tremendous amount of judgement and superiority on this thread, it has actually shocked me and how much vitriol has been shown towards the OP.

hettiecarro

Sadly, some of us have been 'had before' and wasted time and genuine concern where it wasn't warranted.
In defence of fellow MSE members, I have always been treated with courtesy, and if sometimes advice is a little harsh - sometimes that's what's needed. And no 'OP' is going to be helped by being abusive in response.
I find this thread extremely sad - for all sorts of reasons.

maganan

Needhope I sincerely hope you can get this mess sorted, your own children sound supportive and kind and mental health issues can affect us all. I think the advice of letting creditors taking they're own action and saving you the trouble and money is good advice! I wish you much luck and peace in your journey.
Trishiapp I am also a healthcare professional but being aware of the massive difficulties around attitude and communication choose not to judge, whilst I agree that the OP psychiatrist would not have meant any harm in suggesting he was glad he wasn't in her situation I can believe that he/she may have tried to lighten the mood a little and encourage further conversation! No one knows what another person hears only what we intend to share/tell/advise etc. From that stance I suggest your post above have the opposite affect to that intended, I mean no offence this is just how I read it and I have not just buried my mother

Kate

maganan

hettiecarro wrote: »

Sadly, some of us have been 'had before' and wasted time and genuine concern where it wasn't warranted.
In defence of fellow MSE members, I have always been treated with courtesy, and if sometimes advice is a little harsh - sometimes that's what's needed. And no 'OP' is going to be helped by being abusive in response.
I find this thread extremely sad - for all sorts of reasons.

I agree but still feel that needshope needs a chance not judgement and no one wakes up one days and decides to make their life !!!!!........walk a day in another mans shoes.........we've all made mistakes or learnt another way to be

honeybean

I am sorry she is in this situation but I also have had a battle and you can pull yourself up and out of it of you want too depends how much you want it, in the space of five years I lost my home ,marriage and a nasty divorce estrangement from my children because of divorce, my father-in -law passed away , a year later my father died suddenly, then my grandmother passed away ,I have had a stroke . I have managed to pull myself out of debt repaid my debts and got myself on an even keel and my life is now good. I look back and think how the hell did I cope but we are hardy creatures and I think we have a in built survival mode that helps us keep going . At times if didn't want to be here and wondered when my life was going to get better and it has . But you must want it . Oh and I managed to give up smoking 3 years and 2 months . We can always look at excuses of why not to do things instead of doing then . If you truly want to sort it out you will .

Danni-R

Hi,

Yes, I did smoke and now I dont. I dont claim that its easy. But I found it easier than loosing weight (you cant stop eating).

If the OP had posted a SOA with £100 a month going on to fags when she was over spending by £300 a month, wouldnt that be the first thing people would suggest?

It seems like unless the comments are 'so sorry you're having a hard time' etc. then the OP doesnt want to know. IF she was serious, she would have posted her SOA and asked for help on cutting it down to get the money together to make herself Bankrupt and then start her life over.

Florida2013

Firstly, OP, I'm sorry to hear about your mother. It's a difficult time for you.

I don't think this is a smoking/non smoking debate but OP was the one to point out that what little money her partner has goes on smoking and drink. Perhaps OP is acknowledging that this is a problem - otherwise why raise it.

Danni suggested posting an SOA. I think it's a good idea, OP. It will help you organise in your own head what is essential in day-to-day living and where you can cut back and it might motivate you to take back control.

Good luck. I wish you all the best.

Newyorkdreams

hettiecarro wrote: »

Sadly, some of us have been 'had before' and wasted time and genuine concern where it wasn't warranted.
In defence of fellow MSE members, I have always been treated with courtesy, and if sometimes advice is a little harsh - sometimes that's what's needed. And no 'OP' is going to be helped by being abusive in response.
I find this thread extremely sad - for all sorts of reasons.

Mmmm - in the case of 'some of us have been 'had before' perhaps the best remedy is to read and move on and leave the constructive comments to others? I have to agree with others when they say, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Newyorkdreams

Danni-R wrote: »

Hi,

Yes, I did smoke and now I dont. I dont claim that its easy. But I found it easier than loosing weight (you cant stop eating).

If the OP had posted a SOA with £100 a month going on to fags when she was over spending by £300 a month, wouldnt that be the first thing people would suggest?

It seems like unless the comments are 'so sorry you're having a hard time' etc. then the OP doesnt want to know. IF she was serious, she would have posted her SOA and asked for help on cutting it down to get the money together to make herself Bankrupt and then start her life over.

I'm with you on that one! I stopped smoking after smoking 20 a day for 20 years. It took me 20 years to stop. LOL. My weight loss seems to be going the same way....:rotfl: Well done on packing in the fags, it was the single best thing I could have done for my health and my purse.

I do agree, the SOA would have been helpful and it was a good suggestion and my experience is that you get mega helpful advice (although I have also experienced some acidic comments myself which are really not helpful).

Come back OP if you are reading!