Nice People Thread Number 11 - A Treasury of Nice People

michaels

Spirit wrote: »

Is it just me feeling this was a break but not 'special' did other NP keep traditions?

Somehow Easter was never a big deal when we were growing up (not much different from the other spring bank holidays) so I don't expect it to be now...and no doubt we are passing the same 'not a big dealness' to our kids. They each get one of the small size eggs from us and only get others if relatives happen to be near by. Neither DW or I are big chocolate people and I am always happy to avoid the kids getting too much 'candy'.

DS is being allergy tested again tomorrow with the thought of having a peanut tolerance test if that goes well. Given I now seem like some sort of pathetic 'allergic to everything' type person it seems strange to rmeber that as a child I wasn't allergic to anything / no asthma type symptoms.

lostinrates

Spirit wrote: »

I had not even thought of them. I bought Bobbi Brown because the Mac counter looked a bit busy .

I do not have much make up, and what I have could all do with being chucked out as it is rarely used. There are a couple of Estee Lauder and Chanel lipsticks that are in shades I like (probably not fashionable) but I am in the mood to try something new, so want to buy whilst I feel like this.

Will google Space NK.

You have beautiful skin and fine features. . You probably only want light touches?

I , and now my mother, use a bb cream rather than foundation. Space nk have several. For foundations by terry is excellent ( terry invented touch! !clat) for my mother. We've both used chantecaille, a beautiful brand.


Lipstick queen is remarkable lipstick brand. And a really good space nk make up consultant tells YOU which lipstick you want,:rotfl: I went in last year for something a op it peachy and left with the pink I'd been looking for since my favourite Clinique one at uni was discontinue:rotfl: its effortless to wear, iykwim. I think that one is chantecaille actually. I love lipstick queen medieval too. But could buy lots, despite not being a lippy girl. . It suits almost everyone I think. DH slipped 'hello sailor' into my Christmas stocking from lipstick queen too.

I am always sidetracked my nars and stila eyeshadows, but am trying to remember I don't need more . Probably ever.

silvercar

michaels wrote: »

DS is being allergy tested again tomorrow with the thought of having a peanut tolerance test if that goes well. Given I now seem like some sort of pathetic 'allergic to everything' type person it seems strange to rmeber that as a child I wasn't allergic to anything / no asthma type symptoms.

Having hay fever is a sign that you carry "allergy" genes, so it isn't surprising that DS is showing symptons.

To silver line your cloud, most people grow out of hay fever in their forties.

Spirit_2

michaels wrote: »

Given I now seem like some sort of pathetic 'allergic to everything' type person it seems strange to rmeber that as a child I wasn't allergic to anything / no asthma type symptoms.

I had wondered how you had coped as a child given the location of your childhood home. Is hay fever a recent affliction?

Spirit_2

lostinrates wrote: »

You have beautiful skin and fine features. . You probably only want light touches?

I , and now my mother, use a bb cream rather than foundation. Space nk have several. For foundations by terry is excellent ( terry invented touch! !clat) for my mother. We've both used chantecaille, a beautiful brand.

Skin is fine although if i ever lose weight, my face will probably crumple to resemble an old brown paper bag.

Lost already, what is BB cream?

SingleSue

LydiaJ wrote: »

Awww. Thanks. I'm touched that you feel that way.

Long answer follows. Sorry. Please only read it if you actually want to know...

It's not as bad as it probably sounds, Spirit. I'm not depressed. I don't feel hopeless or sad or any of the things depressed people feel. Burnout is different. I feel more like a person who's on anti-depressants than an actual depressed person. Everything feels very flat and blank most of the time.

I still know just as much that life is good and exciting and full of possibilities. It's just that most of the time I feel that actually doing any of the things requires more energy than I can muster. I can motivate myself to do things that have deadlines that matter to "outsiders" - ie not me and my children. So I can show up on time at work, and do my marking in time to give back next lesson, and things like that. I can show up (usually a bit late) if I've arranged to meet somebody, or to something I belong to and am committed to attending regularly (like church, or the church group I go to on Wednesday evenings in term time). But structure at home is another matter. I do enough washing that everyone has clean school uniform, I make sure everyone has enough to eat, even if they have to forage in the fridge for it themselves, and I tidy when the cleaner's coming so that she'll be able to clean.

It's not actually like that *all* the time. As I am beginning to get a little better, I switch between two modes that I call "power on" and "power off". The "power off" mode is as I've just described, whereas "power on" is more like normal people are. However, it's quite unpredictable when I'm going to switch suddenly from one to the other. I am spending more time than usual in "power off" mode because I've just had three weeks of "holiday" - ie being at home with my kids and no grown-ups to talk to. I've had actual social contact (ie not counting till staff in supermarkets etc) with other adults on 7 of the last 23 days. Since I'm highly extroverted and energised by being with people, this is not good for me - I almost always switch to "power on" when I'm with people (well, adult people) although I often switch off again as soon as I'm not with them any more.

I've been like this for years. Burnout is a reaction to an extended period of excessive stress, which for me was on and off for most of the time between autumn 2003 and spring 2012.

It is improving gradually - I've had quite a lot more "power on" this spring term than last spring term, for example - but my circumstances aren't ideal. If you've burnt out at work, you're supposed to take several weeks or even months off, and be looked after at home by a partner who takes a lot of the cooking, cleaning, parenting etc off your hands, but that's a bit difficult if it's not your paid job that's the problem, but everything else, and there's no partner to do anything. I do have a cleaner, and I couldn't manage without her, and in term time I eat excellent meals in the school canteen, which keeps my diet more balanced than I would bother to cook for myself. DD has good school meals too, and DS is too fussy for his diet to be any more balanced than it is anyway.

I would get better much faster if I did the things you are supposed to do - eat healthy food at the right time of day, go to bed on time, take moderate exercise, spend lots of time with people who matter to you etc etc. However, until I am better, I am unable to organise myself to do those things, although I do try very hard to book in seeing a friend at least once a week, and usually manage it.

I started seeing a counsellor last term. I am still hoping she will eventually provide me with the structure and accountability that I need to make me do the eating/sleeping/exercising things right. However, so far she just keeps telling me that I am being too hard on myself, and should stop beating myself up and setting unrealistic standards for myself.... blah blah blah... which is what everyone always says.

As for what you can do... well, you all help a lot anyway, by providing me with adults to "talk" to, even when I can't reach any IRL. You could shoot me if I post on here after midnight. That might make me go to bed a little earlier, perhaps?

I can relate completely to a lot of what you have posted as it was similar to how I was when I had my breakdown in 2005 caused by exhaustion, extreme stress and depression.

I too was cut off from adult interaction, in the early days because of the boys, their difficulties scared old friends away and even though I had a husband, he didn't understand depression (he said it wasn't real and was only used as an excuse to get out of work) and when it came to the boys, he didn't really want to know about their disabilities (he was in complete denial) or to take part in their therapies/appointments/medical tests etc. In his mind, it was a parenting issue...my parenting issue and all they needed was a good clout and that would sort everything out, everything else was just namby pamby.

Anyway, I found what really helped was talking to people via MSN. Online contacts had worked out that when I was low, I tended to disappear from forums or would go quiet socially and avoid people, basically because my self worth was so low I didn't think anyone would want to talk to me plus also my feeling of not wanting to 'put upon' other people. Once they worked this out, they made a concerted effort to get me to talk, initially via MSN (they worked out that even when I had it as showing offline, I was generally online but hiding), then in the flesh at speedway meetings.

Those talks quite literally saved my life, without them, well, the outcome would have been very different. We didn't even talk about how I was feeling, it was just normal stuff e.g speedway, current news, the weather...the normal boring run of the mill stuff that people talk about but it took my mind off the bad stuff.

So talk away, it really does help and helps to make you feel less isolated. It still helps me and keeps the black moods at bay reading about what all the other NP's are doing...although I will still withdraw from posting when things are really hitting, it keeps me going/distracts just reading.

lostinrates

Spirit wrote: »

Skin is fine although if i ever lose weight, my face will probably crumple to resemble an old brown paper bag.

Lost already, what is BB cream?

Grr, lost post.

I use this one

http://uk.spacenk.com/bb-venom-skin-tint---light/MUK200008627.html

But prefer this one ( will edit in) but skin decided it didn't like it.

http://uk.spacenk.com/bb-creme-au-ginseng-dore-45ml/MUK200009057.html

Its a sort of hard working alternative to tinted moisturiser or foundation. It dies a job while you wear it. Anti aging often. For youngsters often anti acne. You can layer it up to get good coverage if needed in find, or just use it on t zone for example.

Its the comfort of moisturiser, the look of ....best skin hopefully, and the performance of skin care. That's the idea. I think of it more as half way house between tinted moisturiser and foundation.

neverdespairgirl

Spirit wrote: »

yep. The jars just draw you in. OH finally got to the end of his marmalade stash today..which could have ended in tears...he was saved the indignity by finding a jar of Bonne Maman Reine Claude in the pantry.

Despite DD having a degree in modern languages we had no idea what it was and had to resort to opening the jar to discover..greengage jam.

What stash of marmalade? Did he make it in January? If so, a long time to go until he can make some more.

Is greengage jam nice?

michaels

Spirit wrote: »

I had wondered how you had coped as a child given the location of your childhood home. Is hay fever a recent affliction?

Yep, seem to have grown into it rather than out of it. As a child/teenager I was majorly exposed all the time and no problems, I reckon mid 20s I started to sneeze a bit when concentrations were really high (we are talking cutting the grass under fruit trees when it was really dry dusty) but not really a problem. Since early 30s it has been a problem and seemingly worse each year.

I feel like I have turned into the guy in Sleepless in Seattle who is in bed with Meg Ryan but spends all his time with a box of tissues blowing his nose

hjd

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

What stash of marmalade? Did he make it in January? If so, a long time to go until he can make some more.

You can freeze seville oranges perfectly well, and then make marmalade at a time which suits you.
That's what my mother does, and I have conducted extensive tasting tests to see if I can tell the difference between marmalade made with fresh sevilles and marmalade made with previously frozen ones.
I can report that I have not (yet) managed to find any taste difference.