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Nice People Thread Number 11 - A Treasury of Nice People
Comments
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PasturesNew wrote: »Being single it raises the hackles when sexuality is discussed as I've had years of bad experiences. The first time was when I was 26 and mum gave me the "Your dad and I have discussed it and we're OK with it, but you need to tell us you're gay ...." Which is tricky if you're not as the more you say "I'm not" the more you get "All you have to do is say it, we're OK with it...."
That passed ... and I warned my younger sister to expect the same, but she never got the chat.
Then, every time I met a random man (say in a bar) they'd start "where's your bf/husband?" "I've not got one".... then ALWAYS the next question was "Are you gay?"
NO!!!!
People seem to assume that if you're over 30 and single you MUST be gay.
I can see that the interrogation from your parents must have been very annoying.
The guys in bars, though, I don't think were assuming anything. They probably just wanted to know if there was any point in chatting you up - so just ruling out the "already attached" and "not into guys" categories before starting. Seems reasonable to me. Isn't that what we're supposed to have learnt as a society over the last few decades - you shouldn't just assume that the person you're talking to isn't gay.Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.
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The weird feeling as I drove down the A road, a bit euphoric or drunk. My behviour was odd in the aftermath...it would be in my nature to go straight home or park up in the square. Instead I carried on with my original plan:(
Lydia....my family are not looking after me., they were just looking at me.OH has headed back out to the stag do, DD has been soaking her injuries in a hot bath. I have cooked myself lamb chops and spinach for dinner, cried off form the curry in the pub, and said I will go along later, DD is not coming as she will hunker down with Ibuprofen. Will have to drive OHs Passat which I hate or if I check my levels and they are too high I will take a torch/ walk.
Ha just thought I could borrow Miss Spirits 'skip' :eek:
It sounds as though you could do with somebody keeping an eye on you, and not driving, until the odd feeling has definitely passed. Please be careful. We're glad it was only bollards this time, and we don't want you or anyone else to come to any more harm.
You all already know why I get bothered about people taking risks with driving. Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0 -
So, people shown round vacant allotment plots, stint in allotment shop (4th in 5 weekends) done, feed weed and mosskiller put onto lawn (most of it, I always buy insufficient bags of the stuff - should actually make a note one year of how much I need :cool: ) and time for a nice cuppa I think. :beer:
And a smug feeling of achievement, I'd have thought. Busy day!PasturesNew wrote: »I nodded off ... must be my age.
Or you getting up at 5am, that might have something to do with it.....Yep. Lurker (of very long standing) though, so maybe that doesn't count.
Of course you count! Welcome!It's a very Northern European way to eat: fruit with meat. It's something that has largely been forgotten in the UK except apple sauce and red sauce. Even then, ketchup is a pickle as much as a sauce.
It's something not forgotten by my mother - she makes mint and apple jelly, reducrrent jelly, cranberry jelly, mulberry jelly and so forth, to be eaten at will all year round. She also makes amazing chutneys - her squash and onion one is particularly wonderful....much enquiry having been made concerning a gentleman, who had quitted a company where Johnson was, and no information being obtained; at last Johnson observed, that 'he did not care to speak ill of any man behind his back, but he believed the gentleman was an attorney'.0 -
PasturesNew wrote: »Being single it raises the hackles when sexuality is discussed as I've had years of bad experiences. The first time was when I was 26 and mum gave me the "Your dad and I have discussed it and we're OK with it, but you need to tell us you're gay ...." Which is tricky if you're not as the more you say "I'm not" the more you get "All you have to do is say it, we're OK with it...."
That passed ... and I warned my younger sister to expect the same, but she never got the chat.
Then, every time I met a random man (say in a bar) they'd start "where's your bf/husband?" "I've not got one".... then ALWAYS the next question was "Are you gay?"
NO!!!!
People seem to assume that if you're over 30 and single you MUST be gay.
But that's their ignorance.
And rather outdated.
Different people have thought all sorts about me/sexual practise. Its quite lovely really parents were cool about gay issues , the sadness to me is that they just didn't know you well enough.
Fwiw, I have a coupe of people I know who are asexual. ( I.e. They have a gender but do not feel desire for sexual contact) It would be as logical a wrong conclusion to arrive at for a single person, but some asexual people are in relationships. Its something i am really interested in as its something I find hard to empathise with even remotely when I unless I feel nearly dead or was on the pill.
. I still think that hetero but single is most statistically likely?:)
As a person of fluidity in more than one way I am also really intrigued by how hard it is when people i know who have been as strongly homosexual as some here have described feeling, transition to feeling other. This has happened a surprising number of times in our circle really (in sort of waves).0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »And a smug feeling of achievement, I'd have thought. Busy day!
Or you getting up at 5am, that might have something to do with it.....
Of course you count! Welcome!
It's something not forgotten by my mother - she makes mint and apple jelly, reducrrent jelly, cranberry jelly, mulberry jelly and so forth, to be eaten at will all year round. She also makes amazing chutneys - her squash and onion one is particularly wonderful.
I love jellies with meat. Love them. My first Quince and crabapple are happy. Hopefully a little fruit in a few years..
I'd like to make good chutneys, my sister does.
I also felt a bit guilty when gen mentioned pressure cookers, I know its wash't coming next, for preserving , but I remember being scared of the pressure cooker when I was little.:o0 -
lostinrates wrote: »Exactly.
Also, i think that what we do seem to know if through experience is intolerance is often out of lack of discussion.
( not that I was implying that nice people are intolerant, just that I'm saying I think talking and learning through others experiences is as valid in this area as any other)
Not intolerant or unwilling to discuss, just very accepting of peoples right to love other adults of their choosing.
a few weeks ago at a gathering here, a couple were discussing their eldest daughter, a non practising barrister, gay, just been given a recording contract. Their biggest concern has been her appearance - it made it quite difficult in taking up law, and now she is getting offensive feedback from blokes.
She has a girlfriend and does not want to'change' her appearance to fit in, as loving parents they do not want her to change either but feel her pain.
One of my team is gay, and has recently said that he wishes his relationship status to be changed from civil partnership to 'married' and in future will refer to his partner as his husband. He and his husband are two extremely good looking guys, he gets a fair amount of flirting from women, they are both non scene. He just wants his marriage of 6 years to have the same status as other marriages. He has had much intolerance to deal with elsewhere, they are visiting his home country at present where being gay is illegal, and a close relative murdered in recent years because of it.0 -
I can see that the interrogation from your parents must have been very annoying.
The guys in bars, though, I don't think were assuming anything. They probably just wanted to know if there was any point in chatting you up - so just ruling out the "already attached" and "not into guys" categories before starting. Seems reasonable to me. Isn't that what we're supposed to have learnt as a society over the last few decades - you shouldn't just assume that the person you're talking to isn't gay.
My usual response is to spit at them "No I'm ferkin NOT!! How rude of you, how annoying you are to make that assumption. Are YOU gay?"
I guess we can see why I'm single..... my male/female interpersonal skills never developed.0 -
neverdespairgirl wrote: »Or you getting up at 5am, that might have something to do with it.....
That can't be it - I'd nodded off yesterday evening, so by 5am I'd already had a lot more sleep than usual! Probably 7-8 hours.
Yawning again now 0 -
I think I'm that now. I don't even think about anything to do with finding men attractive, or wanting to go out with any - and no urges whatsoever. It's just all gone from my life and has been for about 5 years.lostinrates wrote: »Fwiw, I have a coupe of people I know who are asexual. ( I.e. They have a gender but do not feel desire for sexual contact)
I never look and don't fancy anybody on the telly, or walking down the street.0 -
The only person who's ever asked me if I was into women was very drunk. Otherwise I don't think she'd have picked a moment when I was giving her and her children a lift in my car (with my children also) to try to pull me. She was also married (to a bloke).Do you know anyone who's bereaved? Point them to https://www.AtaLoss.org which does for bereavement support what MSE does for financial services, providing links to support organisations relevant to the circumstances of the loss & the local area. (Link permitted by forum team)
Tyre performance in the wet deteriorates rapidly below about 3mm tread - change yours when they get dangerous, not just when they are nearly illegal (1.6mm).
Oh, and wear your seatbelt. My kids are only alive because they were wearing theirs when somebody else was driving in wet weather with worn tyres.0
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