Awkward Viewing Stories

thequant

I was once lodging with a lesbian women who was in the process of selling her house. One day she rings me up to say she's going to be late from work and could I do the viewing for her.


The viewing was going well until I showed the prospective buyers my LL bedroom which had a 24 inch double donger on the bed.

Campervanman

I was viewing a property with my mother in Brighton. The bedroom was beautiful but had a mirror on the ceiling. We then moved to the second bedroom which was fitted out like a dressing room with a suit hanger etc. On the dressing table was a roll of notes. The well dressed, middle aged and rather posh vendor picked the notes up and said to my Mum 'they leave the money in the most stupid places, don't they'. This sealed the deal for my Mum that she should definitely move from quiet Guildford to Brighton for her retirement. Where else would you have a house viewing where the vendor assumed you knew where men left money after visiting a prostitute?

[Deleted User]

Viewed a house once where the there were these weird dark stains on the living room carpet. Like skid marks. Later we went upstairs and a dog was sat on the floor in one of the bedroom, dragging its bum up and down the carpet as they do when they have worms.

Gingernutty

From a few other threads on the same theme........

electricdreams

I once viewed a house which was falling apart at the seams. The whole way round, the vendor was pointing out things that were broken, telling me his teenaged son was responsible as he 'punches things when he's angry'. Holes in the walls, broken mirrors & doors, garage door hanging off its hinges, all sorts. We finally get to the son's bedroom, and the lad is in there, watching !!!!!! on his laptop. Eek!

Glyndwr2000

We viewed a house that seemed pretty normal downstairs, simple 2 up 2 down. Stairs were ok as were the bathroom and small bedroom. When we reached the master all seemed normal until I spotted a shape on the wall. On closer examination it appeared to be baby oil in the shape of a well developed lady in a pose which can only be described by thinking of american cops shouting "spread em". My wife went from puzzled to horrified to laughing her head off in the space of 5 seconds !!

NewbuyerNE

Glyndwr2000 wrote: »

We viewed a house that seemed pretty normal downstairs, simple 2 up 2 down. Stairs were ok as were the bathroom and small bedroom. When we reached the master all seemed normal until I spotted a shape on the wall. On closer examination it appeared to be baby oil in the shape of a well developed lady in a pose which can only be described by thinking of american cops shouting "spread em". My wife went from puzzled to horrified to laughing her head off in the space of 5 seconds !!

This is fantastic! hahaha

drusilla

Many years ago, I visited a house, which I thought was empty. No furniture downstairs. A couple of chaps showed us round.

We went upstairs and lined up against the walls were loads of mattresses.

Then went to look outside. There was a huge vat with a full goat carcase cooking over a fire.

Interesting sort of barbecue I suppose. Quite a nice house but the lack of parking put me off.;)

Callie22

We went to view a house today where we weren't allowed to see the main bedroom because the man of the house was asleep in there. Then when we were all stood in the garden, the seller decided to give us a ten minute run-down on the neighbour dispute that they were currently having. I kind of got the feeling that she didn't really want to sell.

lisssa

This actually happened to me today and I'm still cringing .....
House back on market (sigh) and to the rear of my property I have two parking bays which is part of a number of bays for other residents. Anyway , estate agent came round with prospective buyers , all seemed to be going well.... Just before they left the husband asked me the question 'so I know you own 2 parking spaces, but do you have any problems with getting blocked in ' ....

' nope' I reply ' in the seven years I've been here never had a problem, in fact everyone is really good like that ' . ( which is the honest truth !!!! ) They leave , two minutes later , there's a knock on the door, it's the estate agent..... Yep you re guessed it someone had blocked in the couples car so they couldn't reverse out of my parking space. I had to knock on neighbours door, when they eventually (!!) answered , they apologised and whilst their friend moved their car, the owner then came out with the killer line ' sorry about that, the parking round here is ridiculous ' .....

I just wished the ground could have swallowed me up, made me look a total liar, and complete idiot - honestly never had a problem !!

Suffice to say I'm really looking forward to the feedback tomorrow - not !!
this house selling business is really demoralising at times )0: