Tm's MFW ramblings

turtlemoose

I enjoy reading the other diaries on here for a variety of reasons. Many I've read for years, so feel invested somewhat in their lives and progress, as I'm sure others do too. It's quite difficult reading at the moment though looking at the position of others in their MF / M neutral / FIRE etc journeys and how my own situation compares. It feels like MF early is essentially a couple's and/or high earners game only. I never want to live with another adult, so that's that option gone. High earning? Maybe once upon a time I could have gone that way, but being a single parent to two young children, with so many other demands on my mind, emotional energy, and my time - I just don't have the freedom to commit to the work I'd need to dedicate to progressing professionally. 

I will of course keep chipping away at my mortgage, but realistically I need to face the fact that I might be MF only a handful of years early at best, and even then it'll only be if I'm both careful and lucky. 

Mortgage_Minimiser

Hi @turtlemoose, 

Your last post really resonated with me. I to am a single parent and i am finding it hard to OP atm. My mortgage is in 2 parts totalling £189k with a £1650 monthly payment. Don't even get Child Benefit. Being the main carer for my wonderful daughter I too feel like I've not been able to put myself out there as much as others on the work front. 

It's a 2 wage economy, especially now, but we can do this!!!

I will subscribe and come along for the ride to cheer you on !

MM

LadyWithAPlan

Just read all your diary- your ability to keep your head up and keep going forward is v inspiring. Your kids are lucky to have you and maybe when they are in their 20s you can get them to read your diary.

I also was at the beginning thinking how your ex-OH sounded incredibly selfish, I am surprised some MFW'ers were not at your wedding at the 'if anyone wants to  object'  part 
Still thats all past now and you have just kept on winning even when the chips were down.

I am single (no kids) and have  no interest in living with anyone (neither a partner or a friend) so I understand about your concerns re  OPing your mortgage and the fact all the responsibility is on you and you want the time to focus on your kids.. My income is either high or low but the sheer size of a mortgage debt does freak me out

SuperSecretSquirrel

I was sorry to read this TM, and am sorry if my diary is one of the ones contributing to your feeling this way.

You have done incredible things, make no mistake about that!

Having the courage to remove your ex from your life shows great strength, as does raising your children well by yourself. You had a redundancy to contend with, not your fault. Also a generation defining global pandemic, same. When the jobs market was dismal you took the opportunity to study and improve your prospects. You accepted “needs must” jobs to keep your family ticking over. You have continually kept your eyes open to new opportunities and gone for them when they crop up. You have successfully moved on to a bigger and better job. You shine at work and have been recognised and rewarded with a stellar pay rise as a result. It might not be obvious to you, but you are on fire! 🔥 😎

I'm sure that as your children grow up you will have more space in your life for career focus. I also think it would be a terrible shame for your ex to have ruined all other adult humans for you for the rest of your life, there are plenty of terrible humans I'm sure, plenty of good ones too, don't write it off just yet! That said, I still expect you to be successful in your endeavours even if you choose to go it alone.

Remember that just having the idea of bringing your MF date forward puts you ahead of the pack outside the world of MSE MFW, and I have no doubt that you'll go on to achieve it. Try to always remember that this place isn't “normal” 😁 Also, as with most of what you see online - it's just a small highlight reel of people's lives that gets posted here.

Keep doing what you're doing and I have no doubt that you'll far exceed your own expectations. It might be slow progress for now, but it's progress. We all hit bumps in the road at times 🙂

South_coast

Well said, SSS 👍

turtlemoose

Oh my gosh, I am so thankful for such lovely replies! I definitely had a little emotional wobble while reading, and then SSS your first long paragraph tipped me over the edge and I had a little cry  (in a good way!)

It's unbelievably helpful to have seen such a wonderful summary of the last 10 years or so - it's been quite the slog a lot of the time, and that 'outsider' view was really useful to reframe my thinking on to the positives and the achievements along the way, so thank you

Oh and SSS, don't worry, I'm not bitter or wary about relationships - I have a lovely partner, and we will celebrate five years together in a few months.... but lovely as they may be, I never want to live with them, or any other adult for that matter, ever again. LWaP feels the same judging by their comments above

In wonderful money news, I'm getting an unexpected £1400 refund from university. It's only right really, because it's the cost of two modules that I enrolled on and paid for but they didn't actually deliver (it was a whole saga, they ended the course while I was part way through it and made all the staff redundant and then tried to pretend that they hadn't done that!) but I wasn't sure they would agree to a refund and so until I got the actual complaint outcome, I wasn't holding my breath! Even though it's not 'extra' money, it also sort of is because that money I already paid out and didn't expect back , if that makes sense! I'm absolutely thrilled and this has dragged on for a little while, so it's a big relief. 

I'm going to pay £1000 straight off the biggest CC , even though it is interest free, because I receive some UC and that would pop me quite close to the point where they start deducting money for having capital - and that would cost more than I would gain in interest, so I can't stooze it.

The rest I'm having a little treat - I have a large tattoo that I had done about six years ago, that I had an allergic reaction to and lost a load of the colour, and so it's always looked a little sad as it's mostly outline and only a few bits of faded colour left. I'm going to use the remaining £400 to have that tattoo redone by a colour specialist, and also let the kids choose a day out somewhere. I think that'll be nice, as we are all feeling the gloom of winter a bit, so that'll be a nice treat. And if there's anything left after that, I'll stick the remainder off the CC too.

turtlemoose

Feb debt and mortgage OP updates 

Mortgage balance: £92102
Mortgage OP: £665 stoozing at 6.25% (£50/£930 1% challenge, +£25 from last month)
CC1: £107.50 at 0% (until Jul 2024)
CC2: £1730.38 at 0% (until Dec 2024)
CC stooze: £500 at 4.5% (27.21% of the balance, -6.93% drop on last month but uni refund will fix that!)
EF: £2290 (£320/£800 target, +£270 from last month, the final COL payment came through so put most of that here)


Still haven't had my refund from uni yet, it's been over three weeks. I know these places have slooooooow administration processess, so I'll give it another week and if I've not had it by then, I'll chase it up.

Linked to that....tattoo appointment booked for this Saturday, VERY excited about this!!

I had my first payday since my increase, which was very nice! 

Overall, just reminding myself of the positive - bills are getting paid, we can afford heating & eating, mortgage debt and CC debt shrinking every month, mortgage OP pot and EF growing every month. The amounts are small BUT everything is heading in the right direction. As SSS wisely said, it might be slow progress for now, but it's progress. 

turtlemoose

How has another month passed already? It feels like no time at all. 

I'm still waiting on my uni refund - they had a cyber attack the day before my refund was due to be issued (what rotten timing!), and understandably this is taking a long time for them to resolve and have proper access to their finance systems etc. I've had an update from them today though and hopefully I should have it in two weeks. 

I went a little over spending budgets in Feb - nothing major, but things like an extra £80 on groceries, an extra takeaway we wouldn't usually have had (£24), just a handful of other small bits and pieces but it all adds up. I have enough in various pots that I can shuffle around to accommodate this so it isn't the end of the world for one month, but I do need to be aware of it and not let it become a habit.

Groceries is the big one really - my budget is set at £400 for the month at the moment but this is becoming increasingly difficult to stick to. Between full time work and two kids, I don't have time to be going to lots of different shops all the time to get truly the best value for every single item, but I'm not sure there's room in the budget to increase this. It's made harder by two of the three people in the house having food allergies, which restricts what & where some items are bought. That budget does include household cleaning stuff, and any day-to-day toiletries, but those don't take much of it. I try to use trolley.co.uk to get the best overall deal from one shop, but it's so time consuming. But I suppose what I'm going to have to do is suck it up a bit and see if I can figure out some better planning to keep the costs down! 

turtlemoose

Forgot to do this in March, whoops, so here is April's state of play:

Mortgage balance: £91851 (dropped past another £k level) 
Mortgage OP: £720 stoozing at 6.25% (£105/£930 1% challenge, +£55 from March)
CC1: £57.50 at 0% (until Jul 2024)
CC2: £305 at 0% (until Dec 2024)
EF: £2390 (£420/£800 target, +£100 from March)


CC balances are much lower (was £1838 total in March) and should both be paid off my end of May. 

As I get some UC, if my capital goes over £6k, then I lose £4.35 for every £250 that I go over the £6k mark. Between emergency fund and my monthly-saving-for-annual-purchases (insurances, car costs, stuff like that), and mortgage OP pot,  I am pretty close to that limit, and I can't earn more interest than what I'd lose. So from next month I'll no longer be able to stooze the mortgage OP, which is a little frustrating when my rate is 1.77% and I can easily beat that in savings right now. But still, an OP is an OP, and every £1 is interest saved and time shaved off the end date, so I'll keep plodding!

Work are givings us a 4% payrise from this month which is great, and unexpected! With that and the CC's paid off, I should be able to OP £100 a month towards the mortgage as long as I stay being careful with other budgets, which isn't loads but it's definitely much better than nothing!  My fixed rate is up March 2026 and I want to get my balance down as much as possible before then as who knows what interest rates will be then - probably not 1.77 ....! 

turtlemoose

Tsk, an oversight, I forgot I have not one but two of those pesky tempting "pay-in-3" type things going on. Both finish this month though (£62 total left) so I'll not add them to my figures, but putting this in so when I read back hopefully I won't forget that sort of thing again.

I also forgot I was due some expenses from work, and as it was unexpected I've just paid it straight off CC1 so that is now zero, hooray!

UC rates are increasing from today, I won't see that until my June payment though. With that increase and my wage increase (which is offset by then a reduction in UC - argh, why so complicated!), I will be better off overall - however delightful things like council tax, water, gas and elec and the endless list of things to pay are also increasing, so NET it's about +£80. I'm going to divert it immediately to mortgage OPing,in order to get my balance down as much as I can before March 26 (end of fix).