Too easy at home?

Jabberwk

Obviously it depends on the people in question, but I think it can get in the way of relationships. If you're looking to spend your life with someone, you want to know how well they can take care of themselves and whether they're financially and domestically responsible. I think the first few years living independently can also be quite a steep learning curve, and now, in my early thirties, I don't think I'd want to live with someone who hadn't already come out the other side of that. But I admit that I'm probably a bit prejudiced because I've lived away from my parents since I was 18.

moneyistooshorttomention

Pixie5740 wrote: »

There is too much failure to launch these days. I know people in their 30s still living at home with little or no intention of moving out because they can't afford to buy somewhere like their parents' home straight away. Nor will they be able to any time soon since they like spending their disposable income on cars and holidays. Now their parents are stuck with them and are extending their homes to accomodate these adult children.

Never mind what adult children living at home want, what about their poor parents who are stuck with them?

The trouble is that the Government these days won't pay the full amount of housing benefit payable to anyone under 35 (unless they have children possibly:cool:) if they become unemployed and so it is a bit awkward for them in that respect due to no fault of their own.

The other scenario is if someone is stuck with an employer that has got them on money-short situation courtesy of zero hours contract/unpaid work as an intern (whilst they hope for a proper job from it)/part-time work (though they intend to have a full-time job).

But...yep...I do feel sorry for parents who cant get on and make "their own life" for themselves once those adult children get to an age where it would normally be expected that they have become independent.

But...yes...if they are earning a normal income in a secure (well...as secure as jobs get these days...) job then they should be independent, even if I (as a parent) would "on the quiet" be keeping a space for them so to say until they hit their 35th birthday just in case they got "belted one" by Society and needed it.

Even at my age, there is still my old room there empty in my parents home, though I wouldn't have dreamt of returning once I'd left in my early 20s on the one hand and my mother would shudder at the thought of having me back LOL, so I tend to think a bit of "unofficial space-keeping" in their absence in case for a while is an idea personally (but that the adult child shouldn't actually use it on the other hand).

[Deleted User]

As a 33 year old father of 2 (who left home as soon as I found a job after finishing uni...) I would be really sad if my sons were unable to support themselves by the time they hit 30

Having a family made me want to push my career on further, to get promoted, earn more and move into a bigger home

Delaying 'getting on the ladder' is only going to cause more harm than good; as you can already see that property prices are rising faster than wages are.

moneyistooshorttomention

We mustn't forget the scenario that we have seen a few times on these Boards too re an adult child that stayed "at home" for too long and just continued staying there indefinitely and then the parent/s had to go into care and that "home" is no longer available for said adult child (ie because the local Council have demanded it be sold to pay those care home fees).

You just never know if that will be the case and people sometimes find themselves quite late in life trying to provide themselves with a roof over their head.

I think people can stay if they are there so long that they have got to over 60, but otherwise it's one "roof over head" down the drain.

V_Chic_Chick

Let's just say that as a woman there's no way that I would start a relationship with a man over the age of about 25 (and even that's pushing it) who was still living at home without seriously good reason - like caring for a dying parent.

Once you get to a certain age, living at home is generally regarded as a good sign of a manchild.

Dan-Dan

beer and sweets!

hanfrangipane

I have recently moved back in with my Dad at the age of 25 as I relocated from my uni city where I worked for 4 years post graduation, back to the family 'home town'. My intention is to stay with him for 12-18 months whilst I save enough to get a deposit together and then buy a place of my own.

There is a bit of a stigma to living with parents once you're an adult, but I wouldn't be able to save in the way that I am were I not living rent free for this significant period of time.

I am very lucky and grateful that I am in the position that I am, that my Dad has the space and the inclination to let me stay! Having said that, I do not intend to stay for longer than I have to and it is giving me the impetus to save faster and push myself to make a couple of extra sacrifices. I wouldn't dream of staying indefinitely, I'm a planner and like to know that it's a means to an end.

I know a few people that just stay at home because it's easy or because they can't get the 4 bedroom detached house of their dreams. I couldn't, and wouldn't, impose on my parents own independence and privacy for such a long period of time. I think there comes a time that you all need to be able to move forward. Although I do know that both parents would always be there to support me down the line should I need it for whatever reason.

It is a tricky one - I certainly wouldn't judge anyone who is using living with a parent as a spring board to improving their situation etc, however quite often the intention is for it to be a springboard and then things get comfortable and it just ends up being a long term thing for those who just don't have the inclination or drive to get out on their own two feet