how do you stay positive?

blue_pixie

I just cancelled my phone and broadband, it was really expensive, I will be on the look out for a cheaper option next month. I've perfected a £25 weekly food shop for my family of 3 too.. :-) onwards and upwards! X

blue_pixie

P.s good luck with it bright spark87. You will be fine I am sure. :-)

dubs57

Keep going everyone, I'm so increasingly impressed by how hard you areall trying.

FireWyrm

I've just paid off £800 to a credit card which clears one and leaves me broke....but I'm happy. I have a budget, all is accounted for and has there is nothing to worry about. I do find myself feeling a little down when I cant buy things, but all it takes is the mental reminder that this is a better life and it is what my hard work and money is buying - it isnt paying off debt, it is purchasing a future.

blue_pixie

FireWyr.m wrote: »

I've just paid off £800 to a credit card which clears one and leaves me broke....but I'm happy. I have a budget, all is accounted for and has there is nothing to worry about. I do find myself feeling a little down when I cant buy things, but all it takes is the mental reminder that this is a better life and it is what my hard work and money is buying - it isnt paying off debt, it is purchasing a future.

I love this.. especially the bit about buying a future... well done FireWyrm... broke but what huge POSITIVE leap forward.. :-)

And THANKS for the encouragement dub57 :-)

misskl

I know how you all feel. People know I have debt but they don't know how much, and how much I have borrowed over the years (22k in total!)

I find it a very lonely process, especially at the moment. I moved back home, in with my grandma, in order to save money.

She's 73 and 29. Plus, I am back in my hometown where I dont really know anyone anymore, so that makes it harder. As much as I love my grandma, I feel like I'm doing time! I'm a very sociable person, which probably got me into trouble in the first place tbh.

By June I will have paid off a credit card, so that will free up the £300 a month I've been paying, and I am very tempted to move out then, purely for my sanity! But I would of course be able to pay off the debt faster living with her. I suppose I will have to wait and see how things go...

I havent told any of my family how much I am in debt, primarily because I feel ashamed. And my grandma treats me like a little girl still, so to confess this would not help in rebuilding my self esteem either.
It's a tough life lesson but one I hope I will finally learn!!

blue_pixie

Well done misskl! Sounds like you're doing great. And that you have a lovely Granny.. :-)

girlatplay

Hi blue_pixie

I'm going to show you it from a different angle.

At the start of 2008 I had debt/rent arrears/council tax arrears/etc. I was really scared and was considering going bankrupt as I couldn't see any other way out. One night I 'fessed up to a friend. I didn't tell her exact figures but I gave her examples. She talked things over with me, we discussed my options and she loaned me £20 to send to the Sheriff Officers along with a repayment plan. I applied for a bank loan to consolidate (I know that is not recommended for people but I didn't know that at the time - turned out to be the best thing I ever did but I have unbelievable self-control). I didn't go bankrupt as I was able to cover everything.

I worked my @$$ off for the next 4 years, telling no one about my debt. Everyone knew I was skint but no one knew the full extent. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I was (am) a single parent and I was scared they might take my child from me if they found out we were sharing a packet of shops own brand 8p noodles for our dinner.

I discovered MSE in mid 2008. Coming here was fantastic. The support from other posters was brilliant. I started my old diary in 2011 when I only had a few months left to go (should have done it long before that). It was a relief to come here and type out the nonsense in my head and know that other people were reading and replying.

I became (unsecured) debt free on 1st December 2011. I have a mortgage and I am working on that. I shy away from debt. I check my bank accounts every day - even when I know nothing is happening. I have a spreadsheet that I am always adjusting and updating. Sometimes I just open it to look at it because it now looks so beautiful (how sad am I?)

My point is, your day will come. It is a struggle and it's blimmin' hard work but you will get there. Keep coming here as often as you can and post, post, post. Start up a debt free diary. Join some of the challenges. Make small goals for yourself, challenging but achievable. Listen to the advice of other posters. The odd person posts rubbish but honestly, that doesn't happen often. We all need the odd treat. If we don't, we fall off the wagon far too many times. Someone once wrote (it was MemoryGirl but I don't remember if she posted it on here or on her own blog) that she popped the odd pound coin in a pot hidden at the back of her wardrobe/drawers/hall cupboard and every now and then if she fancied a magazine/chocolate bar/box of hair dye she would just go to the pot and take the money out without feeling guilty as that was her treat pot.

Talking of blogs, check out:

http://mortgagefreeinthree.com/ (MemoryGirl)

http://www.frugalqueen.co.uk/

http://agirlcalledjack.com/

That will all keep you too busy to worry about feeling lonely! Especially the peeps on here, they are a great bunch!

Good luck
gap x

blue_pixie

Hello girlatplay.
Thank you for your message of hope. To be honest I have thought about getting a bank loan but I have the ccj so I wouldn't get one. I will just keep doing as I am doing. And when things drop of my credit file, I will be able to start again with a new wiser less ignorant approach to my financial well being. I am having a bit of an off day today to be honest, I feel very guilty and it over whelms me sometimes, especially in terms of my partner as he has nothing to do with my debt. Nevermind, coming on here and reading inspirational stories like yours will keep me going. Best wishes to you and your family and well done. :-)

blue_pixie

Hope everyone is having a happy positive weekend! Keep going dfw's! :-)