Do I take the cash of my sibling?

halia

Hi all, I need advice.
My sibling has just got engaged, I made sure they got a card, a decent present for Bride to be and a £50 cheque for my sibling.

Now they are having a party and asked me about buying off me some spare wine I have left (2 cases) from our anniversary do. (some of you may remember this do cost me alot more than I had wanted due to MIL).

I was planning on 'selling' the wine to sib at a 50% discount but DH says I am being mean and I ought to give it to them.

maybe I am mean, but my original plan was to keep that wine and use it over the next few months instead of buying any more. I'm happier to pass it on as its not the ideal wine for autumn drinking and we'd only get through 2-3 bottles over the summer months. But if I give it away I am out of pocket by another £50.

What would you do?

Smashing

Why not give them the wine on the basis that it be considered a wedding present? Saves you having the buy something else in the end anyway.

stebiz

I agree with DH. Give them the wine with your blessing. If it means you doing without wine then so be it. They will think so much more of you. Something that a few pounds in your purse will never buy.

Regards
Stebiz

pinkshoes

Give the wine as a wedding present! I think that would be a generous and USEFUL present for them to have!!

(wrap it up, and add a little card to it saying it's an early wedding gift, just so she understands you won't be getting a gift later...)

Carmina_Piranha_3

this is just an engagement party, the wedding might be years away so another present will be expected then.

i think your sibling realises parties cost - and probably realises you spent more than you wanted to on your party. they have asked to buy the wine, i'm sure they won't expect it for free if they know you can't actually afford to give it away.

how well do you get on? are you close? if this was my family my sibling would know i was skint and would either pay for the wine or give me my cheque back. it's only an engagement party, not the actual wedding and i don't think large generous gestures are expected.

if you do give it away try not to look on it as being out of pocket - you'd already bought the wine and you were expecting to drink it yourself. you're just giving it away instead of drinking it, the actual cash outlay has already happened so it's just a case of whose throat the wine goes down.

Poppy9

I would give the wine away but I think you were very generous with the engagement presents. If it was me I would give the cheque back in return for the wine.

I think you will feel bad if you sell them the wine and it will niggle at you for years to come but if the wedding doesn't go ahead you'll remember being 'robbed' of your wine. :rolleyes:

You could say that you want to keep one case and give them the other one and tell them to get wine at 30% discount from Tesco.com when you buy 6 bottles!!

halia

the wedding isn't for 3 years! So it can't be an early pressie. *sighs* I feel mean but I am really trying to keep to a budget and our party put us at *very skint* this month, plus the engagement presents weren't budgeted for as we had no idea they were planning this.

pinkshoes

Just explain to your sister you were planning on drinking it!! Otherwise, if you give her the wine, you'll be £50 out of pocket, and will probably have to spend more money on buying expensive bottles when you want some wine!!

I guess it's just one of those horrible lose/lose situations, where you end up looking like the bad guy or you end up out of pocket. Am having one of those at the moment, but nothing I can do!

Explain to OH that the next £50 of wine you buy is to come out of his 'pocket money', and then you'll GIVE the wine to your sister!!

justmarried06

For my two pennorth worth! If they have offered to buy the wine off you in the first place then they are clearly expecting to pay for it. They may even be offended if you just give it to them! I think if its your sibling then it should be your decision - yes, DH might think you're being 'a bit tight' but as pinkshoes says, if he feels that strongly about it then the next £50 comes out of his pennies!

JM x

Sarahjovi

If they have offered to pay, tell them how much the wine cost and then give them a small discount! They'll be grateful for the discount and you'll have some money in your pocket!

Sarah

Katyag

If they have offered to pay id take it.

My aunt had an over load of loo roll due to buying in bulk and as we use more of it than she does (3 of us, 1 of her) i offered to buy some from her to give her back some room. She ended up just giving it to us but i made it clear we wanted to pay for it.

So if they have offered to pay id accept it, certainly wouldnt give them all that wine for nothing, we couldnt afford to lose all that cash esp after being very generous with your engagement gifts.