Renting and landlords rules!!

adsangel

I've been renting a room for about 4 months. My landlords lives in the house too. A few weeks ago she had a major fit because my boyfriend was staying with me for a couple of days as he normally lives away. We were quiet and didn't cause any problems, even cooked dinner for everyone and bought the tea/milk etc. She said that she wasn't having him living in the room because it would mean her paying 'his bills' as well. I asked if I could have him stay over another weekend and basically she said that she would expect him to pay rent. I think this is unreasonable as I am paying rent for the room so what I do in it is my own business as long as its legal. Can I have some thoughts and any experiences. I'm having to think about moving cause I don't feel comfortable there.
Thanks.

thesaint

You are a guest in your landladies house.

I think that she is being perfectly reasonable as she presumably offered you a place in her house and not a room to anyone who you see fit.

JCD_Capulet

I totally agree with ts_aly.
You are not a guest in the landladies home, you are a paying customer. If you are paying for rental of the room and paying money towards bills ect she has absolutly no right to be sticking her beak in to what you get up to so long as it's legal. I can only presume the woman is a prude and terrified of things that go 'bump' in the night

Seriously though. If you were renting a little one bedroom flat (as I do) nobody would say such things. If your boyfriend moved in with you then yeah, I can see her point. But that's not the case!

Go find yourself a more reasonable landlord or your own wee flat and tell this woman to jog on.

All the best.
Joanne

lynzpower

but you are not a tenant, you are a lodger. Legally they are very different things.

You have no rights as a lodger, which I presume is why you will be getting the room cheaper where you are other than letting somewhere on a tenancy agreement. there is a world of difference between lodging and havingf a tenancy.

barnaby-bear

JCD_Capulet wrote: »

I totally agree with ts_aly.
You are not a guest in the landladies home, you are a paying customer. If you are paying for rental of the room and paying money towards bills ect

But presumable the boyfriend uses the toilet/shower (or is very odd and smelly) and the water meter / heating costs will be higher. If it's a lodger - flat fee including bills or half of all bills then having the boyfriend to stay not really done in lodgings and she should be in a shared house or alike.

Melissa177

It could be that she's worried that he's going to start staying over all the time, and it could turn into a long term thing. Perhaps she doesn't like having a man in the house (although it doesn't sound like it from the way she's talking about bills etc)

I have to say, being a lodger is different from being a tennant. You're not a guest, but you're not a tennant. If you're going to have your boyfriend over regularly, I would think about living in a shared house.

lynzpower

ts_aly2000 wrote: »

The one thing that stands out to me is that the two of you live together yet don't behave as housemates, where you talk to each other and know each other.

That alone would have me out of there. The boredom of lack of conversation would drive me crazy. I don't want a best friend by any means, but I've never been able to live with paranoid recluses. Equally so, I could never put up with a party every weekend either.

Your home is your home. It is your privacy. If she wants privacy than she should live alone. It can't be had both ways.

but they are NOT housemates and sharers, OP is a LODGER. there is a world of difference betwen the 2.

Vampgirl

I do think that its pretty unreasonable if she won't allow you to have guests stay over, but strictly speaking she hasn't done anything wrong.

This is one of the problems being a lodger rather than a tennant: if you're lodging then your LL can pretty much make whatever rules and conditions she likes I'm afraid. Lodgers usually pay less than a tennant in a shared house would but the trade-off can be obscure rules and less legal protection.

I would definately reccomend that you start looking for a room in a shared house with a proper AST.

keeperbear

Your landlady's reaction is completely reasonable. You are lodger not a tenant, and you are renting a room not a property.

How much do you pay a month? This would also be a factor in your landlandy's reaction.

olly300

I personally don't think the landlady can cope with more than a certain number of people in the house. Some people just can't and as your landlady controls the situation, you don't have much choice in the matter.

Even if the OP was sharing in a house they could come across this as people (especially if they are younger) can gang up on each other.

The best thing to do is ask before you move in, where ever you move to, if it's ok to have guests, friends' or a partner, staying over a couple of nights a week. Also find out the number of people who can stay over at one time. (Useful if people can't get home after a night out.)

I've had to get 2 guests removed for different reasons in houseshares I've been in, yet I got told off for kicking one of my guests out when I was lodging by my landlady. I've also been in a houseshare where two people had guests (at different times) staying for months and it wasn't a problem.

roses

I don't personally think there is anything wrong with having your boyfriend over 1-2 nights a week, my lodger brings home 2-3 different girls (each staying 1-2 nights per week) & it doesn't bother me at all.

However when I was renting as a lodger a few years ago, my landlady didn't like it at all when my boyfriend came over once for 3 nights in the whole of the 5 months I was living there which really p***ed me off because her boyfriend used to stay over 2-3 nights per week.

It really depends on the person.

But sounds like your landlady is a nutjob & you should start looking for somewhere else to live. It's really not nice living in a house where you are uncomfortable as you don't sleep well, get stuck in your room & are in general really uncomfortable when you are "at home".