Should I sell it?

butterflylady

The ring was new when it was bought, it is a solitaire diamond, in pallidum which 4 years ago had just become a hall marked metal!!

There is a very reputable jewellers in my local town, so I will take it there, get a price and then discuss it further!!

Prothet_of_Doom

You might be surprised at how little it is worth.

Mate of mine had a ring which cost £1500, and he couldn't get above £200.

InsideInsurance

butterflylady wrote: »

we have just received two unexpected bills totalling almost £600 one for my boyfriends divorce and one for the car

How was the bill for the divorce unexpected?

I agree with others, the money was given to help you out with bills and so by selling the ring you'd put the money back to its intended purpose.

butterflylady

The bill was unexpected as we thought we had paid a fixed fee for the clean break part of the divorce. We are going to query the bill with the solicitors, however after having to deal with his ex messing the paperwork up I'm guessing there going to have a strong case for the bill. When I say messing it up I mean by saying she had £0 income even tho she's on benefits and then signing one page in her married name and the next page in her maiden name! Insert swear word of choice for her.

While they had no joint asserts the clean break protects me as we now jointly own a house which I didn't want her to have any chance of coming after!

Mojisola

butterflylady wrote: »

My boyfriend doesn't want me to sell the ring, he is actively arguing against it!!

Is he arguing against it because he feels bad about you selling things to pay his bills?

Even if you're happy to do it because of how much better your life is with him, he may be upset if you do.

I would see what you can get for the ring just to get the facts but also talk to him about how selling it is making him feel.

If there are other ways of paying the debts without selling it, it may be worth pursuing those.

butterflylady

He does feel bad, in his past relationships he's been the one earning the money, this time we both work and I like to spoil him which he's not used to.

I'm going to take it and get it valued next week then raise the subject again if it's worth it!

Horace

Why should you pay for your bf's divorce? Let him pay it himself.

As an outsider looking in - you look as though you are being taken for a mug because you are doing all the selling of stuff to pay off debts that seem to be mainly his.

Mojisola

butterflylady wrote: »

He does feel bad, in his past relationships he's been the one earning the money, this time we both work and I like to spoil him which he's not used to.

I'm going to take it and get it valued next week then raise the subject again if it's worth it!

If it is worth selling, suggest to him that you use the money from the ring to get yourselves sorted financially now but that it would be nice if he bought you a special piece of jewellery later on.

That would then have sentimental value for you both - for him, in recognition of the way you supported him and for you in that it would show that he appreciated your help.

Money_maker

You may want to consider how you made the jump from having debts on maternity leave to using £700 to buy a ring. Whilst I appreciate you were trying to hide the money from your ex, most would tuck it away somewhere secret and safe. Surely no one having cleared debts would spend £700 on a ring? You may want to look at your spending and keep a diary, especially with a third child.

ETA: Sell it but start keeping a spending diary. Once its gone, its gone.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

I was once told that selling personal items for debts should be the last and only resort in a line of check boxes to free up cash in other ways.


Such as looking at mobile phone bills, if you both have contracts and then the one who has the lowest bill all the time should not renew another contract and go over to a PAYG and work out whether you text as a habit or call as a habit and enroll the sim onto a "dolphin" type plan where you top up £10 a month and get unlimited texts until the next month saving you a £5-10 over a line rental contract cost and save having a costly phone bill every 3 months for hardly any use.


the next would be Sky, can you do a deal if you threaten to leave them, reducing the costs or if you mainly watch free to air then why not cut it off and use the box as a free view box.


I think you both need a sit down with open cards on the table and see what you both can do, it seems he's letting you do most of sacrificing and now is stopping you with the ring as he feels your going too far with throwing your own money towards his debts he starting to feel guilty I suppose for allowing this to go on.


then if after that if things still don't get on track then look at personal items, but they should be things of both of yours just not all of yours.