Marriage preparation

JustinCredibleGillespie

Extremely ill. I could not speak for 48hours prior to the ceremony lol.

Everything went well apart from the car catching fire.

JCG

xx

FBaby

I was totally fine until I got my dress on. From then on I became more and more a nervous wreck until I walk down the aisle. It wasn't the vows at all it was the prospect of being the centre of attention. In the end I loved it

Robisere

25 years this year and 26 after we first met and moved in together, both on our second go.

I come from the kind of family that takes over everything, and I resented it but could not think of a way around it. Then we found that a Tax hiccup took a big lump of our savings, so cancelled the Reg Office do a week before. Sitting in a local club with our best mates (best man and his OH) we told them. "Oh no, why?" - "Can't afford it."

"Can't afford what? - Thought you had paid for the Office ceremony?"

"Well yes, but can't afford a do." - "Then we will help! Contact the Reg Office and see if you can still do it."

Which we did, but kept being put off until the Friday afternoon. Phoned around my boss and our mates, who confessed that they had bought and brewed wine & beer in anticipation some weeks ago. We bought loads of food, spent hours putting it together and crashed. Got up, phoned the family to tell them. Silence, then: "Oh no, can't come, we are too busy."

Cracked on, the only family there was my wife's: son, daughter, Fil & Mil. Lots and lots of very good friends, none of my family. It went beautifully, we had a great party that night at our house, tried to invite my family but they were still "too busy".

By 3:30 am I was trying to get everyone out. All food and drink gone, I was letting them out of the door and some were trying to get back into the windows.

I think, because of the way this happened and the short notice, we simply had no time to be nervous. We just did it. New wife crashed, I stayed up to clean up the mess, which I did not at all resent because it had all been so spontaneously good.

Next morning she and I came down. She took one look, realised I had cleaned up and said "He would never have..." (meaning her ex) and I said, "And neither would she." (meaning my ex) That's how we started and 25 years later we are probably more in love than ever, I have a family I never thought I would have: great son and daughter, 4 smashing grandchildren. We moved away eventually and the kids followed. I do not miss my own relatives one bit, since that day I have been persona non grata with them, and I could care less.

The thing to remember about family and weddings, no matter how close you may be, is that it it is YOUR day - the two of you. You will, hopefully, have a family of your own, either "ready made" as mine was, or children of your own. The family you create between you, is really the one that matters.

ellay864

Having gone through 2 weddings I was calmer in the months before the first than the second (failure first time gave me more reasons to worry second time). But on the day both times I was so relaxed it was untrue. First time round I was ready far too early and felt that I really shouldn't be watching football on telly but honestly had nothing else to do. Second time I was waiting for nerves to kick in but it just didn't happen

Seanymph

The first time I was a nervous wreck didn't want to go to the church, and troubled. We were seperated within 6 months.

The second time I was chillness personified calm, confident - and I'm still married.

[Deleted User]

Stood there in my wedding dress just before leaving for the church feeling sick as I knew it was a huge mistake. I couldn't back out as everybody had travelled to be there. I felt even worse next morning; trapped with a man I knew didn't love me.

It lasted 2 years

marywooyeah

Missu wrote: »

Stood there in my wedding dress just before leaving for the church feeling sick as I knew it was a huge mistake. I couldn't back out as everybody had travelled to be there. s

This is exactky how I felt, it was horrible, I had to paint on a smile and during the ceremony I burst into tears because I was so unhappy. I knew I was marrying the right man but his family had caused so many problems it was so hard to see them standing in the front row (one of them holding their crying baby and doing nothing to calm him down), hearing my husband making these vows to "forsake all others" when the people who had made us so miserable were standing right there staring at us. I felt like I had to pretend to be happy and smile and pose for photos when I didn't want to get married at all, it was one of the most unhappiest days of my life and it is very upsetting to think about nearly three years later.

We are very happy together as a couple and its so sad that our special day ended up this way.

Op when you say "marriage preparation" are you referring to the church course?

sweetme

Judi wrote: »

I honestly had second thoughts but by this time the wedding was booked and everything was in place.

This. And my gut feeling was right.

Morglin

A feeling of foreboding the first time because I was too young, and knew deep down I was marrying the wrong man.

30 years on, two kids, and then a divorce proved me right!

The second time I knew I was marrying the right man, I was older and
wiser, realised that the wedding itself is trivia and not worth getting stressed over, and had a calm and happy wedding day.

Lin

RustyPots

Calm but excited to see everyone.
Once the car had arrived I was a bit nervous i'd fall over up the aisle (I do that a lot!!) but I didn't have any doubts or niggles or anything like that