Depression Support Thread

rose07

Sazbo wrote: »

YAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! :D:D
:beer: :j :beer: :money:

Sazzyxxxxxx

hmmmmm only one problem now....

Its monday tomrrow

but...



hope your day goes ok tomorrow

i wont be at work tomorrow, tho tbh wish i was, would be better than what i will be doing

much love sazzie, hope your ok, and that the counceling is going ok

xxx

rose07

hmmm watched 10 things i hate bout you tonight....greeat film took me back lol.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSVBLCfodlU&feature=related
but then i thought bout heath, and how drn right sexi he was, and it made me sad.

now watchen house, and the story is revolving around someone who was raped. There will always be reminders wont there? everywhere i go, people i see, there will still be fears and uncertainty. Its hard, coz when it happened all i wanted was someone to talk to, but there wasnt really anyone. I have never really talked about it, sure ya can say whatever to councellors, but they get paid to listen to you, they arent there as people, they are there as a job.

I still think of that night, when my body froze, my world change, and i lost who i was. It either changed me for the better or worse, i dont know which yet. I think of how much i go thru, sometimes i talk about it easily...when i seen one of my mates last week, and we had a chat, she told me how she always found it soo hard to understand what i would say sometimes, as i talk soo straight forward bout the most traumatic things, i cant think where there hasnt been something happen that wasnt traumatic. But because i have grown up in such a shelterd life, i havent known any different, i prob didnt realise half the stuff that was happening to me, and how much it would change and hurt me.

watchen house its bringen it all back, so some of you may wonder why watch it? well ya gotta face ya fears head on right? Its remindin me of the way i was, when i was younger, my parents werent there for me, i had guardians, and at one point was adopted, all very complex, so i never had that someone to look up to, that someone to guide me, all i got was abuse, and its what i got to know, i didnt know anything different. So when something traumatic happened i just thought it was normal, my fault, and coz i was a kid, didnt know what to believe. I couldnt have felt more alone. I did have adults that took me under there wing, 3 impartucular, that i will never forget. When your young all you want is that love and compassion from a parent, but it just wasnt there, i would get in trouble, get involved in all kinds of things, some im not proud of, but cant change it. But i always ended up survivng against all the odds. I dont know what was inside me that kept me going, guess its still there whatever it is. Im still in touch with those 3 people that realy did help me. And now there are even more people to add to that list. Which i will be forever grateful for.

I have to get out of this shelter, break away from the norm

things will always remind me of those traumatic times, but im making the best out of a difficult situation, one thing my friend did say, was i just keep battling on, she is right, i know im a fighter at heart, because my nana was, and she is definately in me

ok sorry to ramble on, just watchen things was bringen it all back, and thought better write it down

hope your all ok

huggles
xxxx

rose07

xxxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! I am fine today off to Exeter to do Karioke today,I am off on my hols tomorrow to Scotland woo,thats come by so fast I would like to share with you some poetry I wrote as another talent I have

You were there waiting for me

You were there waiting for me

of which I couldnt read the signs

I knew just one day that we might meet

In a street or walking up a hill

You never know when our paths would cross

I thought of you each day soaking up the sun

but I never thought you would have gone

I wonder noone would never know the reason why

why did you leave so soon for that heaven in the sky

I bid you farewell and hope you find peace

and sleep well my friend until one day we meet



and another one:

An Angel in Heaven

Angels are in Heaven watching over us

they are special to us in so many ways
they are there when we need them

we only to look up to heaven and pray
that the angels will come down to us some day

For when we need them most they are always with us

in the mornings,during the night,during the day
and that for me is heaven in every way.



hope you like those

hopefuly chat later on and if not will chat when I return from hols


Love and light,

Katie xxx

BigMummaF

Hey Gang....you're all quiet....everyone's making the most of the sun then...

Has anyone else noticed, that when you're experiencing something for real, every other TV programme & song on the radio is somehow directed at you? Bit like you Rose, but I have to say that I agree with you in that these things have to be faced head-on, if you are to have any chance of moving your life forwards.

I'm not staying for now....I'm gunna have a wander in the elements. Hope you have some enjoyment to your days, & Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx

BigMummaF

Sorry Tulip...I was interrupted in my post so just read yours. Very beautiful words, & if you don't mind, I'll copy them for my BIL wife.

You are one very special cookie, Katie, so have a lovely holiday & come back to us safe & sound.

Horasio

Been busy this weekend. Looked at another property. It is a lovely place but it is a flat and I said I wouldn't live in another one after all the noise I had in others I lived in.

Got the car back after getting the bits done. It's less than a year old and having things going wrong. I don't need this on top of househunting.

We are going away this weekend to look at the west country as a place to live, maybe not now but as a next move if we like it.

I feel so tired and confused. What I would really like is my own place where I can go ahhhh at the end of the day and not have people to deal with in the home. Families are hard work, I feel I have to choose between working or living with my family. I don't want to work all day and go home to job no 2 at home afterwards.

I have put on weight and I know why, so leaving here will be a good move but need a place that has a more relaxing bathroom.

feelinggood_2

Rose - just wanted to say that eventually, things won't be traumatic anymore. Its a long, hard slow process. I've reached the point now where I can say 'Yes, I was abused. It was horrible, I didn't deserve it, but it doesn't bother me anymore'. In AA we have 'The Promises'. These are things we are promised as we work the program. One is 'we will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it'. That is really true. I don't regret things anymore, I don't feel bad. Things happened, I'm okay with that.

Diamond78

Im in Looooove
DANNY DYER IS SOOO LUSH, I WISH I COULD MARRY HIM AND HAVE HIS KIDS
is anyone watching This Morning
xx

Diamond78

razorbladekisses wrote: »

Hello slowlyfading I am OK thank you. How has your weekend been? What did you do?

Diamond Sometimes it's nice for someone of the opposite sex to take an interest in us. It makes us feel good inside. Why don't you get to know him a little more before meeting up? If he keeps talking to you, you'll know he's not one of those guys that just wants sex.

Don't put yourself down hun. You're a lovely person with a heart of gold.

It sounds as though you're confidence needs improving before you'll feel like going out with a guy? Do you think that's the case?

Do you receive any counselling/therapy?

Your so right hun, it is nice but I find it so hard to believe what anyone says that is nice and positive. I wont be meeting him for a while yet and Ive told him that last night in a nice way,Ive said id rather get to know him and be friends b4 anything happens and he seems happy with that. maybe I shuldnt talk to him at all atleast then that way, i wont like him anymore than I already do. I do this all the time, when I like someone and I get their attention and things go well, suddenly I switch and go really cold and push them away. Its not nice but i feel all men are the same and I know they are not,i am just going to go with the flow.

Anyway, hope everyone is ok, I got excited a minute ago as Danny Dyer was on This Morning, he is oh my god, one of the sexiest men alive!!!

Im feeling really tired again as got to sleep just after 1am.my poor son struggled to wake up but he did, told him just 5 more days babe and then your home.

I had my driving lesson today which went well, i wish i was 100% confident and culd drive perfect, it was so nice driving along in the sun(why are white van drivers so impatient???)I have 4 lessons left and then im finished cant really afford no more.I hope I will be ready after formy test once i finish my lessons.

Its cold in my flat but lovely outside,although i have a garden it has no sun, its at the front which i dont get to see as im in a basement flat beneath an office.My landlord wont clear up the rubbish in the garden and there is to much rubbish and clothes, tree branches,broken glass,car batterys and other crap in the garden, my poor boy cant even go out there coz its not safe. Im fed up with my landlord and trying to get the repairs done,the council say im non priority so I have no chance of being housed even tho they know what this place is like.

Better go make myself a coffee, i got docs at 4 as i got to pick up my bloodtest and xray results.

Hope evryone has a lovely day, i wish i had somewhere to go, i want to get a tan on my face, a bit of colour to look glowing but there is no where
xxx