Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Looking_for_help wrote: »

Thank you for your help.

Really not sure about the doctors. Would it affect my job if they knew I went to the doctors about stress/depression?

Hi lfh!:wave:
Guess who?!:rolleyes:
No they wouldn't have to know and I do know that if you are particularly sensitive to this issue, then telling your dr may help as they can put down an alternative reason initially.
Even if your employer knows angel, they can't tell your colleagues. There are very strict privacy rules. Only people who really have to know get told. Please go and see the dr hun before you burn yourself out - you deserve some support!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

curlywurlygirly

Anyone got any tips for AD withdrawal - except wait it out?

Looking_for_help

Thanks for your help Tiff. I sat here almost crying but holding back the tears as I am still at work,

I think my wife would like to become a bit more involved, how much I don't know. I would love to be able to share it with her.

I think you could be right about balancing accounts and not living our life.

I hear what you are saying about owning your own home, but as the head of the household I feel I should provide for my wife and give her a safe and lovely home.

We have tried for children in the past and lost two and was a great upset. One that I have never got over.

A good friend of mine (who I spoke to a few minutes ago) has given me some good advice (thank you, you know who you are). He suggested I list what is worrying me and causing me to stress so here we go

• Finance, not having enough to save for a house and not owning our own home
• Dad, still fighting Cancer four years after he was told he had three years to live, we are very close and it's hard to deal with.
• Wife/Children, we have already suffered a miscarriage and ectopic (one tube removed) so am worried about the possibility of having children and finance for it.
• Job, very, very stressful looking after computers in hospitals and am doing it on my own. for you techies out there its approx 200 desktop/laptop pc's some in the operating theatres :eek:, 10 servers, and all lan/wan connections in between
• Friends - Sometimes feel very lonely and no one who I can or will talk to. That's one of the reason I have posted I here as I know you will understand me.........I hope

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,
I have had a good day today Cleaned my flat this morning,then had lunch,then I went to my club,walked along seafront this afternoon,had an icecream as one of the staff who runs the club treated me to one,I went to the doctors to see the nurse,then I went over to the hairdresser and had my hair cut short again as it was getting longer relaxing tonight now and waiting for Holby City to start welcome Looking for help to the depression thread,lovely to have you on board post as and when you feel the need to
love and light,
Katie xxx

Tulip

curlywurlygirly wrote: »

Anyone got any tips for AD withdrawal - except wait it out?

Hi curlywurlygirl,

Sorry I havent any tips for AD Withdrawal hope you are well though in yourself I am fine today


Katie

juno

I won Martin's book giveaway! :j

rose07

Looking_for_help wrote: »

Thanks for your help Tiff. I sat here almost crying but holding back the tears as I am still at work,

I think my wife would like to become a bit more involved, how much I don't know. I would love to be able to share it with her.

I think you could be right about balancing accounts and not living our life.

I hear what you are saying about owning your own home, but as the head of the household I feel I should provide for my wife and give her a safe and lovely home.

We have tried for children in the past and lost two and was a great upset. One that I have never got over.

A good friend of mine (who I spoke to a few minutes ago) has given me some good advice (thank you, you know who you are). He suggested I list what is worrying me and causing me to stress so here we go

• Finance, not having enough to save for a house and not owning our own home
• Dad, still fighting Cancer four years after he was told he had three years to live, we are very close and it's hard to deal with.
• Wife/Children, we have already suffered a miscarriage and ectopic (one tube removed) so am worried about the possibility of having children and finance for it.
• Job, very, very stressful looking after computers in hospitals and am doing it on my own. for you techies out there its approx 200 desktop/laptop pc's some in the operating theatres :eek:, 10 servers, and all lan/wan connections in between
• Friends - Sometimes feel very lonely and no one who I can or will talk to. That's one of the reason I have posted I here as I know you will understand me.........I hope

Hi LFH

How are you feeling now?

Its lovely you feel you want to provide for your wife, she must be very lucky hun. Have you tried talking to her?

Sometimes we all need a break, i know you are incharge of the server and comps for the hospital, but maybe you and your wife could have some you time, even if its just over the weekend or an evening in, do you get much time for just the two of you?

Glad you have written some things down hun, its good to just let it out sometimes and we are always here if you need

take care

xxx

rose07

juno wrote: »

I won Martin's book giveaway! :j

well done you :T:T:T

hope your well

take care hun

xxx

rose07

geminilady wrote: »

Hi rose,Just popped on to wish you good luck with your job,hope it goes well for you.I have just got back from Blackpool and am asleep on my feet.Had a good time though ,might post tommorrow when i am not so tired but really wanted to wish you luck.night anybody thats around.

thanks hun

How r u today?

How was Blackpool?

Job went fine today, well i think it did. I feel really quite ill atm and it making me feel just urgh!

my day started with an introduction, then organised for 3 hours, and also met the team, they all really lovely, friendly, ya know?
Its great i get to see all the new stuff before anyone else. As im the one that takes the delivery and the one who sorts and organises it all.

Im totally exhausted now tho, and feelin pretty sick, and i only done a day..... how pathetic.

hope your well hun

xxxxxx

Tiff_2

Hi lfh!:hello:
Only me again hun!:rolleyes:

quote=Looking for help;
Thanks for your help Tiff. I sat here almost crying but holding back the tears as I am still at work,
If it was any help angel, then you are more than welcome to it.;) I want to tell you lfh, that you should feel proud of yourself hun for opening up with how you feel.:T
I'm hoping I didn't upset you.:o
Ready for Round 2 hun? Here we go...

I think my wife would like to become a bit more involved, how much I don't know. I would love to be able to share it with her.
You obviously love each other very much hun. If you can't turn to your soulmate when you're feeling low, who can you turn to?! See hun, that's what soulmates are for.;)

A Tiffy guess would be that she probably knows you well enough and adding a dash of female intuition, to see that something's up. She maybe worrying herself over what it might be. In that case, you should put both of you out of your misery with a heart to heart.;) Being honest with her and saying could you help me out with the accounting side of things, is not a big deal angel. I'm sure she'd rather you did that now than walk out on your marriage due to having a breakdown sweetheart. It seems as though you're so keen to do everything you can hun that you've forgotten you're only human.


I think you could be right about balancing accounts and not living our life.
I felt this hun.:o
What quality of life will be there for any of you, if you try and do what the textbooks/media/banks say you should do? I'd rather be broke (I'm road-testing this part now actually - not impressed so far!:D :rolleyes: ), and be with a man who loves me and loves being with me. It wouldn't matter where we lived hun.


I hear what you are saying about owning your own home, but as the head of the household I feel I should provide for my wife and give her a safe and lovely home.
I respect that hun. What I'm saying then really, is try and compromise - it doesn't have to be everything all at once. And again angel, life would be a lot easier if we got rid of the ''I should...'s.'' You can provide all you want for her angel, piece by piece - imho, that's how lives are made. I'm sure she knows how much you want for her and love her and she wouldn't want it if it meant losing you or making you ill.;)


We have tried for children in the past and lost two and was a great upset. One that I have never got over.
I'm truly sorry for your loss angel. There aren't words that would do justice to softening those tragedies.


A good friend of mine (who I spoke to a few minutes ago) has given me some good advice (thank you, you know who you are). He suggested I list what is worrying me and causing me to stress so here we go
This is a great list - very clear and concise hun. When things are laid out separately, it's easier to plan for them as opposed to dealing with an avalanche.
And if you know me at all, you'll know that Tiff's always breaking things down to more manageable chunks.;) And after you've got your chunks angel, you then put them in order of importance and what's achievable.

• Finance, not having enough to save for a house and not owning our own home
• Nothing you can do about that short term angel. What you can do is make the home you have and the quality of life together, better. I bet most days are spent turning things over and over in your mind. Take a minute to imagine what it would be like not to have that in your mind all the time hun. It's a long-term goal lfh so this has to take a back seat just for now, imho.
• Dad, still fighting Cancer four years after he was told he had three years to live, we are very close and it's hard to deal with.
• God bless him. You've obviously gotten your fighting spirit from him angel. Again I'm so sorry. I lost my Dad suddenly after a surgical error 18 months ago and it rocked my world. Mum is terminally ill and suffering - has been for many years and it looks like the end is in sight. What she wants from me is my time, being there with her, sharing each other, letting her love me.
• The thing is hun, they know how we're feeling
  because they went through the same thing with
  their parents/family. And we'd do anything to stop
  our children suffering that pain of loss.
• What Mum is trying to do is let us know that it's okay, she knows the deal and doesn't want us heartbroken when she moves on and is making sure that we all know her love is timeless and endless.
  That's the greatest gift you can give a parent in this
  situation hun - the knowledge that they did their job
  well and are deeply loved. We are their testament
  to a life well lived. Gosh - you got a soggy Tiff on
  your hands now! Sorry hun.:o
• I've got no answers for you on this one hun and I can't stop the pain- just enjoy your dad while he's here and know that he'd want you looking to the future he started by having you.

• Wife/Children, we have already suffered a miscarriage and ectopic (one tube removed) so am worried about the possibility of having children and finance for it.
• It occurs to me hun that you are obviously still grieving for them. Have you had any help with this? I know you must be terribly worried about being able to have another child and the finance if it's IVF. I'll go down to the Tiff archives tomorrow and see whether there's any financial assistance you may get.
• Job, very, very stressful looking after computers in hospitals and am doing it on my own. for you techies out there its approx 200 desktop/laptop pc's some in the operating theatres :eek:, 10 servers, and all lan/wan connections in between
• Scary indeed. Do you love your job lfh? Is it something you would thrive on, if there weren't such serious issues? If the answer is no, then maybe it's time to look at alternatives. Teaching IT at college or a school for example.
• Friends - Sometimes feel very lonely and no one who I can or will talk to. That's one of the reason I have posted I here as I know you will understand me.........I hope/quote
• We all feel for you hun and I hope you know you can post or pm at any time. There are things we can do about this problem angel. I think most of have said the same words.

But you're not alone hun. The people here care and give amazing advice, you know that.
I'll see what else I can find on this issue when I'm down in the Tiff archives tomorrow.

If it's any help hun, you are going through a terrible amount of stress so what you're feeling is completely natural!
Hang in there sweetheart - we're here for you.:T :A
Be a bit kinder to yourself hun in the meantime.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx