Who would be his next of kin?

DigForVictory

Not the most romantic reason to suggest putting a ring on it but while the NOK paperwork covers you, a wedding ring bombproofs you. In the who gets a say at hospital stakes, at least.

It may be one or other of you has a credit history no sane person would marry, at which point I'd probably sort the forms & try not to worry overmuch.
Best of luck!

stardoman

Its not just the hospital though. My friend had been living with her partner for 3 years when he was diagnosed with bowel cancer at just 37. He died just 9 weeks later after his first lot of chemo. He did not have a will but had discussed with my friend what he wanted to happen. Sadly, he decided he would wait until after his first chemo before doing it as he didn't feel up to it.

When he died, his mum took over. I can understand some of the decisions she made, such as having him buried with his dad. However, he had told my friend that he wanted to be cremated, but as he had not put this in writing he was buried.

The worst thing was, his mum did not approve of my friend. She organised the funeral and did not tell her when it was. The night before, some friends contacted her to tell her that the funeral was the next day as they were disgusted with his mum's behaviour.

His mum also received all of G.s assets. Some my friend did get back in the end as she was able to prove that she had actually paid for them. One was a car - the car was in G.s name but the finance was in my friend's name as he had a bad credit rating.

Its at times like these when you realise that marriage is an important piece of paper.

bugslet

There are ways round that stardoman. I had no problems when my partner of 28 years fell ill and died, simply because we had made wills, Power of Attorney arrangements beforehand.

You are quite right though, if you don't have those things in place, the partner has very few rights in many cases.

p00hsticks

DigForVictory wrote: »

Not the most romantic reason to suggest putting a ring on it but while the NOK paperwork covers you, a wedding ring bombproofs you. In the who gets a say at hospital stakes, at least.

It cuts both ways though - if you are married, and then separate but haven't got round to divorcing you may well find that there are situations where your spouse is considered when you wouldn't want them to be.

stardoman

bugslet wrote: »

There are ways round that stardoman. I had no problems when my partner of 28 years fell ill and died, simply because we had made wills, Power of Attorney arrangements beforehand.

You are quite right though, if you don't have those things in place, the partner has very few rights in many cases.

There are, but in this case he did not have a will or anything written down. It was all quite messy and my friend had to get a legal letter sent to G's mum. Her attitude was that he had been her son for longer than my friend and so she deserved everything.

As well as the car they had just sold a flat as they were waiting for a new build property to be complete. The flat was in my friend's name as she had bought it years before she met G. but for some reason the money was in G.s bank account. Like I say, she did get it back in the end, but she had to pay for legal advice in order to do this.

It just goes to show how careful you need to be if you're not married.

bugslet

That's really bad stardoman. I go around hitting my unmarried friends round the head with a rolled up copy of a good solicitors details - doesn't always work though:o

rpc

The quickest and simplest way to resolve any issues like this is to get married. If you are married, your status is a matter of public record and as clear as can be.

You can sign declarations, execute a plethora of legal documents and still risk their being an argument when you are least able to cope with one.

Marriage is first and foremost a legal partnership, not a romantic one.

Fosterdog

Out of interest what would happen in my situation, OH is divorced so hopefully ex wife won't get any say but his children are all under 18, if something were to happen to him before the oldest is 18 who would then be next of kin?

He still has his mum and a brother so would it fall to either of them?

We are looking to get on the property ladder so fully plan to make things as official as possible without marriage before going ahead with a mortgage and joint ownership.

Mojisola

Fosterdog wrote: »

Out of interest what would happen in my situation, OH is divorced so hopefully ex wife won't get any say but his children are all under 18, if something were to happen to him before the oldest is 18 who would then be next of kin?

He still has his mum and a brother so would it fall to either of them?

His children would be his next of kin as far as inheritance goes.

DigForVictory

Why wait to get a house first? You both want a big wedding (ish)?

As *I*'d throw the big bash, stonking frock & guest list terrors to the winds to leap onto the property ladder, but would swing by the registry office first.

Others want to do things differently but you can have a big party at almost any time.