Who would be his next of kin?

celticcurl

My partner and I are both in our 40's, we aren't married yet. His mother recently had a massive stroke and is seriously ill. He has an older brother and younger sister. He also has 2 daughters from his marriage who are 19 and 16.

His mothers illness has brought into focus that i would have no say if he was taken ill - he has potentially serious health issues.

If he was taken ill who would be his next of kin and in charge of decisions relatingto his care?

Bennifred

Is he still married to the mother of his children, even though separated?

SailorSam

I think his children will be next-of-kin.

Wilma33

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Next_of_kin

Upsidedown_Bear

There is no legal definition of "next of kin" and he can nominate anyone if he wants to.

http://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/next-of-kin/

This can be printed out and filled in to make it clear who he wants as "next of kin".

http://static.advicenow.org.uk/files/lt-nextofkin-2-8-10-1-988.pdf

GobbledyGook

If he is still legally married then his wife. If not his children.

You would be left hoping that they'd take your wishes into account.

cte1111

When my Dad had a stroke, he and my Mum were in the process of separating. They were still married. The hospital was quite happy to put myself and my sister down as next of kin. So the answer is pretty much, whoever the hospital accepts as next of kin. We were the ones who were asked to make decisions about his care.

I would look at sorting power of attorneys for both yourself and your partner. This would mean that you could manage the other person's finances on their behalf, if they were ever unable to make decisions. Once my Dad recovered from his first stroke, he set this up with a solicitor and it made dealing with his bills much easier.

I'm presuming you've both already sorted wills.

Mojisola

Upsidedown_Bear wrote: »

There is no legal definition of "next of kin" and he can nominate anyone if he wants to.

http://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/next-of-kin/

This can be printed out and filled in to make it clear who he wants as "next of kin".

http://static.advicenow.org.uk/files/lt-nextofkin-2-8-10-1-988.pdf

And he can send a letter to the GP and the hospital nominating you as NOK and ask for it to be kept with his records - belts and braces!

And you can do the same nominating him as your NOK.

Mojisola

cte1111 wrote: »

When my Dad had a stroke, he and my Mum were in the process of separating. They were still married. The hospital was quite happy to put myself and my sister down as next of kin. So the answer is pretty much, whoever the hospital accepts as next of kin. We were the ones who were asked to make decisions about his care..

This was presumably because your Mum didn't argue about it. If she had, I think the hospital would have had to give her views priority.

cte1111

Mojisola wrote: »

This was presumably because your Mum didn't argue about it. If she had, I think the hospital would have had to give her views priority.

I'm not sure that you're correct. My Mum was actually with my Dad when he had his stroke, so came in with him in the ambulance. I met them there. As soon as I mentioned that my parents were in the process of separating they whisked my Mum out of the room. So the hospital were actually pro-active in removing my Mum from the situation.

We told the hospital at all stages, when asked to fill next of kin information that my Dad was still married but separated. They did not take my Mum's name or contact information, so they wouldn't have been able to contact her for permission, even if they wanted to. It was my sister and I that they asked to agree to a do not resuscitate order.

As other people have said, there is no legal definition of next of kin. The rules that people think apply are those that apply to dying intestage, e.g. spouse, then children, then parents, then siblings, then first cousins. There is no such rule for next of kin.

I would say however that if I had a long term partner with possible health problems, then I would seriously consider a quiet wedding. It makes other aspects much easier, in particular inheritance and pensions.

cte1111

Here you go, from Citizens Advice:

"In some situations, for example, when you go into hospital or complete a life insurance form, you may be asked to give the name of your next of kin. Next of kin has no legal meaning but, in practice, hospitals and other organisations generally recognise husbands, wives and close blood relatives as next of kin. However, sometimes couples who live together aren't recognised as being next of kin.

Living together

If you live together, whether or not you will be recognised as your partner's next of kin will depend on the organisation you're dealing with.

For example, prisons will usually accept the name of a partner as the person to contact if something happens to the prisoner.

Hospitals will usually accept your partner as the next of kin.

No one is entitled to give consent to medical treatment for another adult unless they are unconscious or unable to give consent through mental incapacity. However, in practice, doctors do usually discuss decisions with the patient's family and this will normally include your partner.

If an organisation refuses to accept the name of your partner as your next of kin, there is little you can do about this other than to ask them to change their policy."

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_living_together_marriage_and_civil_partnership_e/living_together_and_marriage_legal_differences.htm