Father - Relationship breakdown

Person_one

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

She needs to understand that as she isn't a co-owner she has a limited amount of entitlement to the property's equity, but that excludes the entitlement to prevent you living in your own home while she continues to do so. That you could if you chose, exclude her from living there yourself.

Moving back in could take b@lls of steel but continuing the situation as it is with you paying the mortgage and all of the bills while you live elsewhere is not tenable.

Depending on the circumstances of the break up, it could also be a really sh!*ty thing to do to the mother of his children. Its not as though he has nowhere to live while things are sorted out.

marisco_2

19lottie82 wrote: »

If you are not married, as the house is in your name, you could, legally, change the locks when she was out and not let her back in. If I were you I'd make sure that she knows you CAN do this but you really don't want to.

Seriously don't follow this advice. Your aim at the moment should be to keep things as amicable as you can between yourself and your ex. Making threats, even empty ones, will only achieve to antagonise an already delicate situation. Don't jeopardise the chance of being able to handle things civilly, maintaining the emotional wellbeing and stability of your children in the process, whilst you both work out how to proceed from here.

I suggest you speak to a solicitor. They are best placed to advise and guide you. You will then be able to make informed decisions about the future, and approach any discussions with your ex with confidence. I hope you can sort it all out.

19lottie82

marisco wrote: »

Seriously don't follow this advice. Your aim at the moment should be to keep things as amicable as you can between yourself and your ex. Making threats, even empty ones, will only achieve to antagonise an already delicate situation. Don't jeopardise the chance of being able to handle things civilly, maintaining the emotional wellbeing and stability of your children in the process, whilst you both work out how to proceed from here.

I suggest you speak to a solicitor. They are best placed to advise and guide you. You will then be able to make informed decisions about the future, and approach any discussions with your ex with confidence. I hope you can sort it all out.

I think you understood me. I didn't suggest he threatens his ex with this. I just meant that he should let his ex know that he could do this, but instead he wants to remain amicable and do what's right by his children, however a mutual agreement on how to move forward must be made in order to do this.

19lottie82

Person_one wrote: »

Depending on the circumstances of the break up, it could also be a really sh!*ty thing to do to the mother of his children. Its not as though he has nowhere to live while things are sorted out.

But things aren't getting sorted out, that's the whole point of the OP. The OP can't go on living in his parents box room while paying the bills for his house (and paying maintenance), which he isn't living in, indefinitely.

mgdavid

Person_one wrote: »

Depending on the circumstances of the break up, it could also be a really sh!*ty thing to do to the mother of his children. Its not as though he has nowhere to live while things are sorted out.

but it would be fair and equitable which is all that both parties should expect...

artfulldodger86

Thanks Guys. Shes on about injuctions and all sorts so i think i better get some legal advise behind me.

thanks for the help

StuC75

Move back in ASAP, at the end of the day your ex would be able to get far more assistance with her living situation then you ever would hope!

The house is in your name so all responsibility for the mortgage is with you and its untenable for you to move on renting your own place.. Its also unreasonable to expect you just to live in your parents box room whilst she is living rent free and expect you to still pay maintenance.

Injunctions would only work if she had some reasonable ground with which to deny you access to your children and your house. Afterall how are you to have a reasonable level of contact with your children whilst you only have a spare room!..

Mojisola

artfulldodger86 wrote: »

Thanks Guys. Shes on about injuctions and all sorts so i think i better get some legal advise behind me.

And the personal experience of those who have "been there, done that" - https://www.separateddads.co.uk/supportforseparatedfathers.html

elsien

artfulldodger86 wrote: »

Thanks Guys. Shes on about injuctions and all sorts so i think i better get some legal advise behind me.

thanks for the help

My ex-SIL tried that one when bro refused to move out at her request - didn't get her anywhere as there was no evidence whatsoever that bro was any sort of threat. In the end she gave up and moved out, but did so without telling him where the kids would be living or allowing any contact and he had to go to court for access etc. It's now all legally resolved and he does now get decent access but it took a while and there's still an element of game playing going on when he has to remind her what the court actually said.


Slightly different situation as they were married, but my advice would also be to get legal advice whilst seeing what you can sort out via mediation and keeping things amicable if at all possible. Whilst knowing your rights so you don't get walked out over if you have differing ideas of what is reasonable. Other wise it can get a bit silly very quickly and you don't want to be racking up lots of solicitors bills if it can be avoided.

StuC75

Personally Ive been in this similar scenario.

Things will may only get worse, so do it from a position of strength and better financial standing - If your 'over a barrel' now, its only going to seem worse in the longer term, as 'true colours' come through in this...

I stood ground and kept the house and transferred mortgage over with a financial settlement between us. Thus meaning that I have my own place for when children are over, only paying one mortgage and able to pay financial maintanence for my children, and still have a life of my own,..