Should i get a wonga loan

summer33

Getting_There_Slowly wrote: »

Everything I said was meant as help and advice although I know it may be a little difficult to read, if it comes across a little blunt I am often like that, sorry! Maybe read what I wrote with that in mind and you may see some stuff in there that is useful to you. I think the point about the caravan is absolutely critical, whether it directly caused your current situation or not.

Just to be clear I wish you all the best and if you get a solid plan and stick to it, you can look forward to sleeping more soundly in the future!:)

Hi

It's ok, I know it was help and advice,(didnt mean to sound like it wasnt ) just sometimes on here people dont know the in's and out's of the debt, where and when it has come from, how long we have had it etc.

You know when caravan was bought we never had childcare costs, or mortgage arrears as it was the year she was born, yes we had debt, but were managing it. We were still skint, but not like now.....Our little breaks away were in a trailer tent ( good times ) The mother in law was all for minding the baby when I returned from maternity, and picking boys up from school, lasted maybe a year, and the moaning started, I changed my shifts dont know how many times to accomodate her, and still never helped, so only option was to put her in childcare I understand the mother in law as they are my kids but did let us down

Anyhow this is were we are at. We will get there, not going to have childcare costs forever

I am determined with the plans, and for once do feel positive about paying the debts and taking control of my life for once. Looking forward to not paying a fortune for our shopping

Thanks for comments, didnt mean to offend with what I said u know xx

summer33

matttye wrote: »

Sorry to keep on about the same point, but that sounds exactly like your son is dictating to you. Kids are smart. He probably thought "If I don't bother eating my packed lunch she'll give me lunch money again" and that's exactly what happened.

If your son realises the lunch money is gone, for good, then I'm sure he'll soon come around to packed lunches.

Giving your kids an option is great but not when you're up to your eyeballs in debt and can barely make ends meet. This is the time for you to make cut backs even if it means taking away some choices from your sons.

You're putting more importance on your son's option than on making ends meet. This is a priority that you need to change and soon. You can always give him the option back once you're out of this mess.

Re: the caravan - desperate times call for desperate measures. You might sell at a loss but you NEED money from somewhere. That would help you overnight.

If you can reasonably foresee sorting this mess out without selling the caravan then so be it.

I think that you haven't yet had a lightbulb moment, because you're not willing to be brutal about making cutbacks and selling non-required assets.

Matttye thinks we'll have to agree to disagree, selling caravan is not an option.

I certainly have LBM, as already making cutbacks were I can....looking forward instead of back........ It may not be a required asset at the moment (i agree ) but that is it....... at the moment....it is there for when we do need it and can afford to go away for a weekend, when we have saved and budgeted for it. Yes we would make a loss selling it, and it is not about that, it is about the fact it is there for us as a family, if we work hard and get to were we want to be, which I plan to do.

Again with dinner money, not going to force my son to have packed lunch. I have sat down and discussed it all what I could do for him, and he prefers a hot dinner. I dont see this a big issue, I have cut the outgoing from £64.00 to £32.00 so progress.

Who knows if the new school dinners are rubbish, he may want packed lunch ....ha ha Kidding aside, I know where you are coming from, but cannot force him to have packed lunch.

Thanks anyway

matttye

summer33 wrote: »

Matttye thinks we'll have to agree to disagree, selling caravan is not an option.

I certainly have LBM, as already making cutbacks were I can....looking forward instead of back........ It may not be a required asset at the moment (i agree ) but that is it....... at the moment....it is there for when we do need it and can afford to go away for a weekend, when we have saved and budgeted for it. Yes we would make a loss selling it, and it is not about that, it is about the fact it is there for us as a family, if we work hard and get to were we want to be, which I plan to do.

Again with dinner money, not going to force my son to have packed lunch. I have sat down and discussed it all what I could do for him, and he prefers a hot dinner. I dont see this a big issue, I have cut the outgoing from £64.00 to £32.00 so progress.

Who knows if the new school dinners are rubbish, he may want packed lunch ....ha ha Kidding aside, I know where you are coming from, but cannot force him to have packed lunch.

Thanks anyway

That's just it - you CAN force him to have a packed lunch, and should!

He might prefer a hot dinner but hot dinners are expensive and you need to make cutbacks.

I'm not trying to be awkward here, just saying that you've got to be cruel sometimes. Once you've got yourself sorted he can go back to hot dinners. You shouldn't be giving him a choice here - it's money that you need.

Another suggestion - pay the school trip debt and other debts £1 a month until you've paid off your priority arrears (utilities, council tax and mortgage arrears).

sacha28

summer33 wrote: »

Thanks Matttye, i do understand were you are coming from with the packed lunch situation, my kids do not dictate to me, as I have said before I am the parent, but my decision on some things is to give them an option. I have tried with packed lunch and it did come home not eaten, so if that means paying £8.00 to know they have a meal whilst in school so be it.

At the moment selling the caravan isnt an option......not for what we would get for it.......... I am determined to do what I have said about cutting everything were I can, and selling as much as I can, and I know we will get there.

I couldn't sell the xboxes, as they were presents for xmas for the boys ...they were both 2nd hand, and like the games we bought, they were pre owned, and then any birthday money they got this year, they buy their own games, and buy preowned and not brand new.

Thanks

:wall: :wall: :wall:

This is going to come across as rather blunt but I have been following this thread from the beginning and managed to hold my tongue........until now.

You're not getting it. You are in a right old mess and, unless you change your way of thinking, it's only going to get worse. I find your excuses soooo frustrating to read.
I too have a young family and, only last year, was in a financial nightmare. Just like you. My debts were 'old' debts, built up over years, and I thought I would 'cut back' in certain areas. This was an absolute dead-end and did nothing for my situation. Here's what I did:

I sold EVERYTHING that was classed as an asset. Bikes, surfboards, laptop etc. I then cancelled everything that wasn't a necessity...the sky went, the landline went, the BB went, the mag subscriptions went. Once all that was done, and we were still in trouble, we took out a DRO. We are now discharged and thus DEBT FREE :j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j

It's tough sh!te if your teen doesn't eat his packed lunch, but he'll certainly appreciate his dinner more in the evening!! You have 2 xboxes, that's ridiculous, sell one and you still have one.

As for the caravan, you are being incredibly stubborn!! WHEN your situation gets worse (and I'm not in much doubt that it will) that's the first thing the OR will prey on. You have an asset worth at least £2000 which will go some way to helping you out of a hole.

I know this comes across as incredibly rude, and I assure you I am not generally a rude person, but I have been is your situation and only just come out the other side. Difference is I resigned myself to the fact that I had to make some MASSIVE sacrifices in order for my family to survive, you seem to be making every excuse under the sun as to why you can't sell this or not cancel that. When you have realised the severity of your situation and would like some sympathy, I am waiting!

summer33

sacha28 wrote: »

:wall: :wall: :wall:

This is going to come across as rather blunt but I have been following this thread from the beginning and managed to hold my tongue........until now.

You're not getting it. You are in a right old mess and, unless you change your way of thinking, it's only going to get worse. I find your excuses soooo frustrating to read.
I too have a young family and, only last year, was in a financial nightmare. Just like you. My debts were 'old' debts, built up over years, and I thought I would 'cut back' in certain areas. This was an absolute dead-end and did nothing for my situation. Here's what I did:

I sold EVERYTHING that was classed as an asset. Bikes, surfboards, laptop etc. I then cancelled everything that wasn't a necessity...the sky went, the landline went, the BB went, the mag subscriptions went. Once all that was done, and we were still in trouble, we took out a DRO. We are now discharged and thus DEBT FREE :j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j

It's tough sh!te if your teen doesn't eat his packed lunch, but he'll certainly appreciate his dinner more in the evening!! You have 2 xboxes, that's ridiculous, sell one and you still have one.

As for the caravan, you are being incredibly stubborn!! WHEN your situation gets worse (and I'm not in much doubt that it will) that's the first thing the OR will prey on. You have an asset worth at least £2000 which will go some way to helping you out of a hole.

I know this comes across as incredibly rude, and I assure you I am not generally a rude person, but I have been is your situation and only just come out the other side. Difference is I resigned myself to the fact that I had to make some MASSIVE sacrifices in order for my family to survive, you seem to be making every excuse under the sun as to why you can't sell this or not cancel that. When you have realised the severity of your situation and would like some sympathy, I am waiting!

You should have held your tongue really, as no help at all...

Didnt ask for sympathy. Maybe go back and re-read.

Thanks

Well done on being debt Free :T

sacha28

I don't see what help holding my tongue would've done TBH. I've been exactly where you are, I made all the excuses you did, there was always a plausible reason, in my mind, why something couldn't be done to rectify my situation. I was taking out a wonga loan, sometimes 2, every month just to try and get by.

Maybe my wording was a little off, you weren't looking for sympathy you were looking for advice, but the fact remains the same....you have a way out, you have been advised on quite a few ways to help yourself and you have chosen not to take that advice.

You will, maybe soon, reach the point of no return and your first thought may well be 'b0llocks! Should've sold that bloody caravan and had a £9.50 holiday from The Sun instead!'

Please don't think I'm judging you, I'm not exactly Miss Financially Perfect, my words are born out of frustration as I understand fully where you are at right now. It's just that you really need to have a word with yourself and switch that light bulb on so you can see clearly.

summer33

sacha28 wrote: »

I don't see what help holding my tongue would've done TBH. I've been exactly where you are, I made all the excuses you did, there was always a plausible reason, in my mind, why something couldn't be done to rectify my situation. I was taking out a wonga loan, sometimes 2, every month just to try and get by.

Maybe my wording was a little off, you weren't looking for sympathy you were looking for advice, but the fact remains the same....you have a way out, you have been advised on quite a few ways to help yourself and you have chosen not to take that advice.

You will, maybe soon, reach the point of no return and your first thought may well be 'b0llocks! Should've sold that bloody caravan and had a £9.50 holiday from The Sun instead!'

Please don't think I'm judging you, I'm not exactly Miss Financially Perfect, my words are born out of frustration as I understand fully where you are at right now. It's just that you really need to have a word with yourself and switch that light bulb on so you can see clearly.

Thanks

Just a pity if you understood where I was right now, and knew what I was going though, you could have offered advice, and not insult really

If you know it is hard and difficult to change....why not offer advice on how you changed for the better

I only posted on this thread this week, so yes finding it hard, but all advice I am receiving I am taking on board, and where I can change, I will. If I am on a contract it is difficult. All threads I am reading is an eye opener, and were I can save and make alternatives with food I am trying etc.

You must understand at first it is slow getting reductions in things. i.e elec and gas spend, fuel costs, food shopping.

I want to see if I can reduce things before I get to the extent of selling the things that mean the most to the FAMILY. I dont want to sell things the kids use, yes they are 2nd hand...... I buy from charity as and when I can. Girl in work gives me clothes for my daughter. Havent bought her shoes or clothes for ages

You know if in 2 months time, we have not changed things around, then yes, we will look at selling the caravan, and other things, but whats wrong in a bit of hard work, and trying to turn things around, and sorting it out without losing out on something we have worked hard for.

ViolaLass

summer33 wrote: »

I dont speak too much about his stats as dont want him worrying, but as all parents want him to do well, and dont want him to suffer in the decision of us moving him. I think its hard enough starting new school in last year of juniors and making new friends without having to do tests.

Even better, DO talk to him about them and stress that they don't matter in the slightest and that whether he does well or badly, it doesn't matter.

What matters is how well he can read/write/add up etc because come GCSEs and later, the exams WILL matter. These don't matter one little bit.

sacha28

My LBM came in December (maybe earlier but can't remember exact dates!) 2012 when I had taken a social fund or crisis loan payment as I was in 4 months of arrears with gas and electric, 3 months of arrears with CT, and I had no nappies or formula for my then 9 month old son. The realisation that we were merely existing and I was offering my son no kind of a life was heart breaking.

I was a nightmare, money burns holes in my pockets, but it was the thought of my son growing up in poverty and not getting simple 'pleasures' i.e a £5 pair of much needed shoes from Asda that made me sit up and take notice of what I was doing. I couldn't even take him to a play cafe because I couldn't afford the £2 it would cost me for a cup of tea (he was free under 1 if I bought a cup of tea!)

At this point, we looked at our out goings. We went online banking, for the first time ever as we were scared of the balance, and totted up all of the DD's. We then cancelled all of the one's that were really quite unnecessary. Sky TV/BB and phone was the first thing to go as it was costing us about £80pm :eek: this was all-in but still an obscene amount of money. My OH had a mag subscription that was £15 quarterly but we found that this had bounced countless times and was causing many, many charges. Strangely, the mags still arrived (?) despite the bouncing DD.

The stuff we sold went towards the CT debt, this stopped our DD increasing to twice the amount so saved us about £130pm in the long run!!

My way of thinking changed because my young man needed looking after, he needed parents who could provide stability both emotionally and financially. I wasn't doing either as I was in such a pickle. It was that point that I realised I had to do anything I could to get back on track.

My belongings paid for CT arrears, yours could pay your mortgage arrears. I understand holidays are important to your family (we love our £9.50 holidays BTW:D) but I think they would agree that a roof over their head is a bit more important.

sacha28

For God sake, believe it or not, I am actually trying to offer helpful advice but when I read it back after posting it comes across as patronising!! This is not how I want it to come across, I promise you.

I've done the sleepless nights, I've done the crying from the second I wake up to the second I go to bed, I've been an emotional wreck and 12 months feels like a long time to do without but it has honestly flown by and now we can start looking forward