Elderly father

mto

Not sure I'm in the right thread, so please feel free to move.

My father is 94, lives alone, and I'm his only relative and live 2.5 hours away. We are not close due to events that have happened in the past. He is very independent, still driving, but is becoming increasingly frail.

Because I don't live nearby I was wondering if someone here could point me in the direction of services that may be available to him on a daily basis. He doesn't need, or want, help around the house, but it would be reassuring to me if someone were able to visit him each day just to check on him. I don't mind if I have to pay for the service.

Thanks
Mto

marisco_2

How does your dad feel about people coming to check on him? As he is independent he may not appreciate this being arranged without his prior knowledge or agreement.

trailingspouse

The internet is your friend - google what you're looking for and see what comes up. I think you're right to think ahead. You're Dad probably won't want anyone in to help at the moment - but the time will surely come when he will need it, and if you've done your research you'll be able to make informed decisions when you need to.

mto

marisco wrote: »

How does your dad feel about people coming to check on him? As he is independent he may not appreciate this being arranged without his prior knowledge or agreement.

I've had a chat with him and he's OK with the idea.

Re google ... Was hoping some people here might have personal experience of using such a service

DigForVictory

I worked for a nanny agency - and we were often asked if we could also do other things. Cat sitting (I was paid to stroke cats!), heavy cleaning (I needed the money), assistant matron (= cleaning at a boys school), child escort work (shuffling child from point A to point - so I'd have no trouble dropping in on someone's relative for a modest fee.

If you do go down the agency route, find the candidate with whom your Dad gets on best, book them to check up on him once a week & pay for other days off the agency records. Not letter of the law, but.

You might also find there's somone local who is already keeping an eye, but who doesn't have your number. Strategic cosseting, I suggest. I wouldn't *presume* they're younger than Dad, either!

If there is a local school, you might ask if they've a sensible teenager who can do a vital signs check (Not *always* a contradiciton in terms), or a passing local staff member.

I couldn't not suggest Scouts. Explorers & D of E candidates want to do volunteering in the community & once you are linked into that Network, you usually have a very solid backup.

poet123

Would he be amenable to Meals on Wheels? If so, that would kill two birds with one stone.

https://www.gov.uk/meals-home

Maz

If your Dad gives his consent, contact you county council for their adult social care department for a chat and possible assessment of his current and possible future needs.

Debt_Free_Chick

What kind of area does he live in? In rural areas, the Church often has a "friends" service that does just this. Someone who pops in for a cup of tea, to ask if any errands need doing, if something in the house/garden needs looking at, or to bring round a casserole or other reheatable meal.

Communities used to be like this many years ago, but we live differently today. Although, in many rural areas, there's a touch of the 1940s about our lifestyles & values :rotfl: so if he lives rurally, this might be an option.

getmore4less

What about setting him up with video facilities.

Does he have internet and a computer?
Is he in a relatively good mobile phone service area?

There are a number of relatively simple options that would allow you to communicate every day with a video chat.

Oakie

Does he have any nice neighbours?
Maybe someone who can just keep an eye out,checking the curtains are opened ,milk taken in that sort of thing.? Then if they have concerns can give you a call.

Mojisola

When my parents started to need help, I looked around for a smaller company and made sure that only a few carers would ever call at the house. With the big companies, sometimes it's a stranger almost every time a carer arrives.

Mum and Dad got to know them all well and they knew what Mum and Dad needed doing and could judge whether they were keeping well or were a bit low or unwell.

If the company already has carers working in the area, they may do a 15 minute call just to check on him.

In addition to the good advice from other posters - google his area and see if there are any charities doing this kind of work - Social Services may be able to point you in the right direction.

It's important that someone has your contact details so that you will be told if he gets rushed into hospital or another emergency occurs.

It would also be worth having spare keys with someone local or a keysafe outside the house so that you can tell the emergency services the code - saves them having to wait for the police to break the door down in an emergency.