Real-life MMD: Should I tell my husband that his new client's my horrid ex?

fatal1955 · 27 February 2014 at 1:08AM

pennypinchUK wrote: »

Out of simple loyalty to you, your husband should immediately sever his links with this person. If he doesn't, then you're entitled to the view he considers money more important than your relationship.

Rubbish. Never make business personal.

marich · 27 February 2014 at 1:26AM

You must say .

It is best that your husband has no business or any other dealings with your ex as a bad past is best left there .

The only thing that can happen is that it gets complicated and nobody would want that .

tallgirld · 27 February 2014 at 11:57AM

I would tell him just so my husband could punch him in the face!

Well I suppose violence is not the answer and you wouldn't want your husband to be arrested. So yes do tell him as if your ex finds out that he is dealing with your husband he will probably get in first!! Good luck.

Brian_Steele · 27 February 2014 at 12:27PM

Talk through with your husband whether both of you are happy doing business with this person. Perhaps you would rather steer clear of him; perhaps it might be payback at least to make a healthy profit out of him.

At the very least, you could agree that the business should continue because it is substantial and lucrative, but your husband could be forewarned of any underhand tactics this man may try to employ.

You could also ensure that everything remains on a business footing and there is no danger that the two of them might get a bit pally with each other.

GM_Sage · 27 February 2014 at 2:55PM

This is really a no-brainer! Tell your husband that you want him to get as much out of this brute as he can. Why not let him provide you both with a benefit, and what is the point of your husband turning down his work because you hate the slob? A business arrangement should be at arms length anyway, and there is no need for your husband to let emotion cloud a commercial transaction which is to your mutual benfit.

scrabbly · 27 February 2014 at 4:22PM

Of course, you must tell him ! I can't believe how many people keep these sort of "secrets " AND then say "he treated me badly" .
If this is the sort of behaviour you bring to a relationship then it's easy to see why !

NatFeerick · 27 February 2014 at 5:42PM

Definitely tell your husband. I had a similar thing where I had spent 17 years trying to ensure no-one in my close circle had any links with my violent ex so that he had no way of contacting me, then I found out my brother-in-law was networked with him on LinkedIn - needless to say he's not now! Sometimes revealing your past is the only way to keep it in the past, plus you really shouldn't keep something like this from your husband and if you can't handle them having a business connection you should tell him that too.

bigpat · 27 February 2014 at 6:18PM

Of course you should tell him! But you should also stress the positive side. Presumably your husband will be making a profit from this deal, then isn't it all the sweeter that the profit comes courtesy of your "horrid ex"?

Talent · 28 February 2014 at 2:18AM

Yes you must tell him. Think of the consequences if he finds out.

Bichere · 28 February 2014 at 11:15AM

Surely the client could cause all sorts of problems if he wanted to - the most obvious being not to pay for work your husband does for him. In all fairness to your husband, he must know all he can about any client and your previous history is vital if he is to evaluate the desirability of having this man as a client.