Real-life MMD: Should I tell my husband that his new client's my horrid ex?

Former_MSE_Debs

Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my husband that his new client's my horrid ex?

My husband needs clients for his new business. He's got a big job, but doesn't know the client is my ex, who treated me badly. Should I tell him and risk him pulling out, though we need the cash?


If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply

Note: Please remember that these are real-life Money Moral Dilemmas and while we want you to have your say, please remember to be nice when you respond.

If you have a real-life money MORAL dilemma, email [EMAIL="MMD@moneysavingexpert.com"]MMD@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL]


Previous MMDs: View All


[threadbanner] box [/threadbanner]

lauh88

Does your ex know that he is your husband? Is there a possibility someone might reveal it to your husband? Would he feel betrayed if he found out further down the line when he possibly can't pull out? Is it a big job or could it lead to more work in the future? Just a couple of things to think about.

tgroom57

Yes, you should tell him - sticking to the facts. Especially if 'treated you badly' includes a financial element.

But let your husband decide what to do about it, now or later. This presumes that men know best how other men think.

Mojisola

MSE_Debs wrote: »

Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my husband that his new client's my horrid ex?

My husband needs clients for his new business. He's got a big job, but doesn't know the client is my ex, who treated me badly. Should I tell him and risk him pulling out, though we need the cash?

Does your ex know that this is your husband? Could he be planning to damage your husband's business to get back at you - get your husband to do work and not pay, damage his reputation?

rachiibell

I would tell him the facts and let your husband make his mind up from there.

An omission of truth is still a lie to some and your husband could feel very betrayed especially if he found out in an awkward situation.

GW78

I'd tell him. I'd also tell him I wanted him to take the job. I assume you do as you need the money, even if in an ideal world you wouldn't!
Perhaps something will take a bit longer or be more complex than discussed, maybe you'll need to charge him extra...

madmaid

"Yes". Be up front with your husband and let him know and make up his own mind as to take his business.

deborah007

GW78 wrote: »

I'd tell him. I'd also tell him I wanted him to take the job. I assume you do as you need the money, even if in an ideal world you wouldn't!
Perhaps something will take a bit longer or be more complex than discussed, maybe you'll need to charge him extra...

I agree - your husband needs to know and if your ex is vindictive he would tell your husband anyway. Your husband should hear it from you.

MrsE_2

Yes, yes & yes.

Augustus_the_Strong

YES! Avoid secrets wherever possible, they always lead to trouble.

Tell him in a neutral way and let him decide how to play it.

SVW

I have always believed that honesty in a relationship is vital. I think that you should tell your husband who this man is, and encourage him to keep him as a client. The only reason for you to not want your husband to work for your ex is if you know that he is not trustworthy. Your emotions about his bad treatment towards you in the past should not affect your husband's business dealings. However, has this man got a serious grievance against you? Is it possible that he is trying to damage your husband's business? If so, your husband needs to be aware of this.
I think that you should tell your husband everything about your relationship with your ex, calmly and unemotionally, and let your husband decide how he wants to proceed. Forewarned is forearmed.