Has anyone successfully changed their habits?

ska_lover

Yes it is completely possible to change, stop blaming your childhood for being lazy and get off your butt and do something about it!

There is a huge difference between being lazy and being a neglectful slob....There is no excuse for sending children to school in dirty clothes with unbrushed hair, sorry but that is just dirty, neglectful and scruffy - completely beyond laziness.

belfastgirl23

Yes!!! it is absolutely possible to become a person that you would not have recognised five years ago.

I am now 3 stone lighter, (maintained for a couple of years now, more or less) an exerciser, a healthy eater, a hard worker. Myself five years ago would not recognise who I am now. This is who I want to be, in fact this is my true self.

For me, yoga was a starting point. Just that thing of focusing on myself. What I can do, what I want from my life. I had never asked myself those questions before. That coupled with daily reflection (and recently added daily meditation) have made a huge difference.

So yes it's totally possible. I'm living proof.

Hermia

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Yes!!! it is absolutely possible to become a person that you would not have recognised five years ago.

I am now 3 stone lighter, (maintained for a couple of years now, more or less) an exerciser, a healthy eater, a hard worker. Myself five years ago would not recognise who I am now. This is who I want to be, in fact this is my true self.

For me, yoga was a starting point. Just that thing of focusing on myself. What I can do, what I want from my life. I had never asked myself those questions before. That coupled with daily reflection (and recently added daily meditation) have made a huge difference.

So yes it's totally possible. I'm living proof.

That is amazing! What triggered you to make those changes?

saterkey

on my days off I have loads of stuff to do, so have to do lists, I don't particularly enjoy housework, hovering and mopping and washing up tends to go to the back of the queue. I do things like watch nectar ad points or put kettle on, and run around as quick as possible to do loads of small jobs in the time it takes either in between clicks or kettle boiling. I get a lot done other things like if I go upstairs I have to do something, I have to take something up the stairs and bring washing down, and whilst there make the beds in one room, or tidy bathroom, or clean toilet, nothing that takes very long but by the end of the day, I have got a lot done. I also have that strong accomplishment good feeling when things are tidy and organised. filter your stuff too, the less you have the less you have to tidy. I generally do bathroom once a week, sweep kitchen once or twice a week, put washing on before breakfast so I can save on drying throughout the day.

belfastgirl23

Hermia wrote: »

That is amazing! What triggered you to make those changes?

Dodgy knees were the first start. The doctor said I needed to build up muscles in my legs and I knew myself that weight gain was also a factor. It was the first time anyone ever really expected me to take responsibility for my health and the first time I'd ever had a non-cosmetic consequence of weight gain and lack of exercise. I wanted the pain to stop so I joined a gym which was really nerve wracking. And that started me at least yoyoing with my weight rather than just gaining. That went on for a good three years or so.

I don't know what prompted me to try yoga except I reckoned I needed more exercise and a friend egged us both on. I found it really really hard at first but I stuck at it. I realised over time that there was something more to it than just exercise. That there was a release there that I really needed. The teacher asked us to set an intention for every class and even that act of mindfulness opened up a new world. Sometimes she suggested that we think of something we were grateful for. She focused a lot on new starts too, new moons, new beginnings. I realised that the integration of my mind with my body was really important. Then I decided to try some CBT for weight loss and committed myself to a programme. And it worked for me. Building on this I'm now trying to add in meditation and eating healthily rather than low calorie. And giving up sugar.

As an aside, I really feel now that my diet was responsible for a lot of my depression and lack of motivation through my 20s and 30s - it was very high in white carbs and sugar and low in fibre and protein - I know now that this leaves me feeling rubbish. I think I felt rubbish for 20 years and didn't know it.

My view is that there is a cascade effect with healthy habits, gradually I have been able to add one on another. And I know most of this is a change for life. Yes I do have the odd weekend off or whatever but I settle right back in again.

So for definite sure, I can tell you change is possible

thorsoak

ska_lover wrote: »

Yes it is completely possible to change, stop blaming your childhood for being lazy and get off your butt and do something about it!

There is a huge difference between being lazy and being a neglectful slob....There is no excuse for sending children to school in dirty clothes with unbrushed hair, sorry but that is just dirty, neglectful and scruffy - completely beyond laziness.

Whoooo! That is an extremely judgemental comment!

I hope that you never suffer from post-natal depression, or any type of depression, that you never have to look after a sick child whilst dealing with an uncaring boss and worrying about paying all the bills.

Laurajo_2

It is possible to change habits but the motivation has to be there.

I would suggest it's easier to change one thing at a time; rather than thinking 'I want my house to be spotless' try 'I am going to keep on top of the ironing/washing up/decluttering'...do that for a few weeks, and then introduce a new aspect.

Think of it like New Years resolutions. Someone who is going to quit smoking, lose weight and save more is far more likely to fail all three than someone who chooses one change to make and focuses on that.

My house is reasonably clean but I am not the most tidiest of persons. At the minute, I am focusing on sorting clothes. Dirty clothes go in the dirty bin ( not the bedroom floor, bathroom floor or any of the usual places!) and get washed, ironed and put away...rather than worn, chucked on the floor, washed in a frantic dash on a Sunday night and plucked straight from the dryer to wear again....I swear a lot of my clothes hadn't seen the inside of a drawer or wardrobe for years! I appreciate this isn't rocket science to some people, but for me it is a deeply ingrained habit and does require conscious thought to do otherwise - but it can be done, and now I do tend to do it automatically!

FBaby

It is possible to change habits but the motivation has to be there.

I would say motivation and will power. We always talk about the importance of teaching our children to be polite, caring, respectful, but we seem to forget the importance of teaching them over values that will help them just as much later in life.

OP, remember that by trying to impose some discipline to yourself, you are also teaching your children the same. People say they don't have any willpower, but willpower is something you learn to have and the earlier children can learn it, the easier it will come to them.

Your issue seems to be consistency, ie. you do have the motivation, but lack the willpower to turn it into a habit. How about adapting the 'reward chart' to yourself. Make one for your children and yourself, with a nice reward at the end and do it for weeks on.

When I was a single mum, I did struggle to keep the house always tidy and I used the excuse (which at the time thought was totally justified) that I was too tired with a very busy life. I felt it was acceptable for example to leave the dirty dishes of the night to be done next morning. Things had to change when I moved with my husband who happened to be very tidy. At first, i find the routine that I imposed myself tedious, but two years on, I don't even think about it and he was right when he said that a few minutes spent to do things everyday when it is ingrained in habits makes life so much easier than ignoring it until it gets bad and then dreading doing a big job and feeling guilty for procrastinating doing it.

This_Year

Taadaa wrote: »

o successfully change it you must never give in and have a plan for when it gets tough, like rewarding yourself with a glass of wine, for example ;-)

Unless your habit is having a glass of wine, of course.

Kayalana99

Thank you some very interesting posts! I think having something to blame it on doesn't help my cause at all - not that I should be using it as an excuse but having two young kids under two most of the upstairs is untidy but I keep the front room pretty good (bar a few toys around) ..I've started keeping on top of the kitchen since posting this i.e not leaving the dishs till the morning after lol I think the best advce (joint advice) I will take from this thread is not to do everything in one go and let myself fail - I will do baby steps and grow slowly so I don't build myself only to fail and give up, perhaps this is my main problem...

That do housework for 5min will stay at back of my head to - thats a really good idea to get rid of guilt by just giving 5min of your time - and its amazing what you can get done in 5min sometimes.

Belfast - Inspiration to a few of us here I bet! What a story - I do should look at changing my diet as sometimes my excuse is feeling a bit unwell and I do mainly eat white carbs and sugar... lets tackle the kitchen first :-)