Has anyone successfully changed their habits?

Kayalana99

I know the obvious answer is if you want to change do it - but I'm finding myself turning into my mother.

Might I add my Mums a great person but shes lazy, always takes the easier option and is very laid back about everything.

I love her, but I find myself annoyed about the way I was brought up....i.e I used to go to school with my hair not brushed / not always clean clothes...doesn't use an iron.

Their mostly little things, I could go on but even though this is a random forum I don't want you all thinking I have the worse mother in the world!

(FYI my kids are both under 2 so I don't have that problem as yet with them lol)

Thing is I know I am incredibly lazy - I take after my mother as above. If I find motivation to do things it doesn't last - I get the house spotless say and then within a week its the same because I revert back to the norm.

I have loads of stuff I could be doing right now, yet I'm not...and OK you guys can say GO DO THEM THEN....and yea ok I could start...but tomorrow is another day that I have to find motivation to do it again....

I feel like I need a personality revamp more then motivation I feel like I'm constantly having to push myself to do things and theirs no reason for not doing them!

I've tried to change sometimes I've lasted a week or so in this 'motivated place' but I always revert back to my lazy side. :mad:

pukkamum

I too am extremely lazy, it's a daily battle for me not to give into my laziness and actually get things done.
I too would find that I would leave things until the mess or chaos overwhelmed me then I would attack it frantically.
The trouble is that after all that frantic cleaning tidying etc I would expect to do noting the rest of the week.
After 12 yrs as a sahm I am only just getting a handle on it.
I know that not washing clothes everyday will lead to massive amounts of stress and I have to force myself to do it every day, I find putting a wash load on in the evening means I am more likely to deal with it the next day.
I try now to look at staying at home as I would any other job with set breaks, tasks to be completed etc.
However, I know that the laziness is lurking and it can rear its ugly head at sny point as it does but it certainly isnt as bad as it was.

pukkamum

In fact I am sat here waiting for dinner to cook knowing I could be clearing the pile of stuff next to me but instead I'm typing this.
For me my laziness is a reaction to my mums extreme tidiness, our house was spotless and any request to go out in the holidays was met with no I'm too busy cleaning!
On the other hand she too was very lazy in a different way, if not cleaning she wss asleep on tbe couch!

pukkamum

Sorry still didn't answer the question can you change.
For me no, the laziness is there I just have to fight it.

Silver-Cat

It's quite funny in my family that my mum who is this amazing strong woman who brought up three kids whilst being in uni and working is a total slob when it comes to housework.

I am very like her in that manner yet she used to (and still does on visits now and then) tell me off for being a messy git. My sister and her kids lived with her and my step dad for a while and they were neater than her yet she still told them off if a tshirt was left in the bathroom. :-D

Luckily we all adore each other so its not a problem but it is funny sometimes when I catch myself doing something and thinking okay I'm definately turning into my mother!!

Taadaa

Ive read a book about changing habits successfully. Yes it can be done, but you need to be very determined. The reason it's so hard is that habits form pathways in the brain that never go away. You can form new pathways - new habits -but every time you carry out the old habit you reinforce that pathway to the detriment of the new one, or new habit. So the new habit gets that little bit harder to stick with. To successfully change it you must never give in and have a plan for when it gets tough, like rewarding yourself with a glass of wine, for example ;-)

Hermia

I think it is generally believed that you have to practice a new habit for a certain amount of days before it sticks. I totally believe this. I think it's important to work on one habit at a time rather than try to change your whole life.

For example, if you are messy you need to commit to one thing for a month. It could be something simple like you cannot go to bed until you have done the washing up, wiped down the kitchen surfaces and put any stuff back in the cupboards. If you do this every day it is likely that at some point you will just automatically start doing it at a certain time every night. Once you have done that you can start another small habit.

Alikay

I manage my inner idle slob through making "to do" lists. I find it more difficult to relax when there's a list of jobs to do, so I tackle them and cross them off. I even have a silly little game I play in my head called "seven in five", which means I have to do 7 teeny tiny tasks in the next 5 minutes before I'm allowed to move onto something else (stuff like put all the crocks in the dishwasher, fold and put away clean teatowels, wipe down the worktops etc). You wouldn't know I was lazy by the state of my house, neatly turned out family etc but I am...I've just learned how to deal with it:D

Hermia

Alikay wrote: »

I manage my inner idle slob through making "to do" lists. I find it more difficult to relax when there's a list of jobs to do, so I tackle them and cross them off. I even have a silly little game I play in my head called "seven in five", which means I have to do 7 teeny tiny tasks in the next 5 minutes before I'm allowed to move onto something else (stuff like put all the crocks in the dishwasher, fold and put away clean teatowels, wipe down the worktops etc). You wouldn't know I was lazy by the state of my house, neatly turned out family etc but I am...I've just learned how to deal with it:D

Great idea! The one I like is to set a timer for ten minutes and then see how many tasks you can do in that time. It is amazing how you can get a ton of stuff done that you have been procrastinating over. I sometimes do it with commercial breaks. I have to clear the floor before that ruddy 'viking river cruises' music starts signalling the ad break is over!

FBaby

I think it is generally believed that you have to practice a new habit for a certain amount of days before it sticks. I totally believe this. I think it's important to work on one habit at a time rather than try to change your whole life.

I totally agree with that, although I would say that it's a question or months rather than days.

It's like all the people who work out at the gym. Most of them would probably have preferred to stay home and enjoy a nice comforting meal than go to the gym, but they made going a habit they don't question, they just do.

I'm here on the sofa, enjoying a few biscuits. I need to get ready to go to my zumba class. I could ask myself if I really want to go, as it is dark and rainy, and it would much nicer to have more biscuits, but I don't think like this any longer. Instead I am looking at the time and thinking that I will need to get ready in 10 minutes and go. Of course, afterwards, I will feel great and won't crave any bad food.

My advice is, when you don't want to do something, don't think about it (ie. maybe I could do it later, I'm too tired and therefore shouldn't push myself, it doesn't matter etc...), shut your brain and let your body take over!

marisco_2

In answer to your question, rarely. I am a total creature of habit, really comfortable in my current lifestyle, so I have for the most part not got any real desire to change. Every now and then I resolve to change a bad habit. I mean it. Sometimes I succeed but often I fail. I've come to the conclusion that habits are not easy to change because they are so ingrained, they are almost automatic.