Getting over burglary

Sethisis

Just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to get over the fear of being burgled?

We were burgled in October, and to be honest I haven't had one calm night since. It seems silly writing about it now in the daytime, because the fear only comes back when it's getting late.

I keep trying to tell myself that we have ample locks, and that it would be nigh on impossible for someone to get in without us hearing, but that doesn't mean I'm not jumping at every single noise the house makes all night!

I even got my partner up last night, as I was convinced it was really happening again, which in turn got him all nervous, and we had to sit up with a cup of tea (at 2 in the blooming morning) because we were both shaky. I'm aware I'm being pathetic, but I cannot get rid of this fear.

How do people get past this? I'm exhausted, and scared, and can't see how to stop freaking out.

celticcurl

i have key locks on all my downstairs internal doors. These are locked at night or when i go out. I also have one on my bedroom door. This makes me feel a lot safer. A burglar would have to make a hell of a lot of noise to get anywhere in my house:)

pukkamum

I would invest in an alarm with a panic button next to your bed, I have been in the same situation and eventually I just had to accept that if it was going to happen again there was little I could do to stop it.
At the end of the day its just stuff that can be replaced, most burglars are not interested in you, or hurting you they just want to grab and run.
I would suggest though seeing your doctor and or contacting victim support, you have been through a very traumatic experience and talking with a professional may help.

Sethisis

Thank you for the quick responses

celticcurl One of our locks is between the living room and kitchen, with a little key; having that really does help. Would love to lock the bedroom door as well actually! That would be perfect, I could think 'it doesn't matter what's happening down there, we're safe in here.' ... But the cats would hate it.

Pukkamum Thank you for saying they're only interested in the stuff, not me. I'm sure that's true but I can't help but imagine them stabbing me or something. A proper alarm system would be ideal, but until we can afford such a thing I need to try and get my head in order.

Bluejeanbaby

If you haven't already, I would suggest getting an alarm fitted. A properly installed one gives great peace of mind. A couple of external security lights might help too. Making sure the house is secure & locked is great BUT make sure that keys are accessible to you & everyone who lives in the house knows where to find them in case of emergency/fire etc. I'd be wary if putting a lock on internal doors from a fire aspect too.

As suggested above I would maybe see your doctor too. It's very upsetting to have you personal space invaded & the trauma can stay with you for years. You need to talk to someone to help you understand your fears.

Also, if you ring your local police station they can usually send a PCSO out to advise on making your home more secure & how to deter would-be intruders.

I know from personal experience how vulnerable you can feel after a break in but don't let it rule your life. Obviously it's devastating to have it happen to you but try to remember that it rarely happens to anyone more than once.

Hope you feel better soon

pukkamum

As a cheaper alternative do you have outdoor lights?
They are a good deterrent as is a fake cctv camera by both doors and a sticker saying you are being filmed.

fannyanna

I don't think you're being pathetic at all.

Were you in the house last time it was burgled?

Do you have an alarm fitted? That may help to put your mind at risk.

I don't mean to add to your concerns but I would suggest trying to strike a happy balance between keeping your house secure and keeping your house safe. In the event of a fire speed is of the essence and I can imagine it would slow you do if you had to unlock numerous doors in order to exit the property.

InsideInsurance

Security lights are a mixed blessing because they can make you get jumpy when they turn on and if your unlucky you may find where you've placed them is right on the path of the local foxes etc so go off most nights etc.

As others have said, the vast majority of burglars will not in any way do anything to the people in the house even if caught. Last time our place was burgled the police was saying that even for serial burglars the majority would just get a caution for breaking and entering. If however they threaten you or make contact with you then this becomes aggravated burglary which has a minimum prison sentence even for first time offenders.


How did they get in last time? Certainly look at getting an alarm system but be careful for one thats suitable for you having cats

ariba10

Sethisis wrote: »

Thank you for the quick responses

celticcurl
Would love to lock the bedroom door as well actually! That would be perfect, I could think 'it doesn't matter what's happening down there, we're safe in here.' ... But the cats would hate it.

Have you thought about having a bolt fitted?

Cheap and easily fitted.

DigForVictory

+1 for get the PCSO out - it costs you nothing & they are superbly reassuring on how to "harden your target".

(I apparently made life less appealing for burglars by leaving my washingup to do by the window...)

Talk to your GP too?

celticcurl

I leave the keys in the doors but turned side on so can't be pushed out from other side. Thismeans there would be no delay in case of fire etc. All doors are off front hallway so would have to break in front door to access keys.
You should also lookatmaking sure outside is secure - no garden tools lying around, blocking access tothe rear etc.
As for the cats -internal catflap?