Did you have a baby/babies after you turned 40?

meer53

My daughter was born when i was 43. My son when i was 30.

My pregnancy was fine, just some problems due to an issue with my blood. She was born by emergency section 5 weeks early and weighed 3 and a half pounds. I have to be honest, she wasn't planned !

I had a CV test and 3 amnio tests (these were related to the blood issues, not for downs)

She's 13 now and the only problems i have are hormone related !! Mine with the menopause and hers with her periods !

I don't find it much different to when i had my son aged 30 to be honest. I think it's all a state of mind really, if you think it's going to be an issue, then it will.

A cheeky bus driver in London recently asked my daughter if i was her Granny ! We laughed about it, i asked her if she was embarrassed. Of course not, she said, "you're my Mum, no different to anyone else's Mum !"

My ex went off with someone else when she was 2 so we have an incredibly close bond. Yes, she's a pain in the !!!! sometimes, but that applies to kids and Mums anywhere, however old you are !

I had to go back to work full time when my ex left 11 years ago, i haven't found it any more tiring having a young child, you just get on with it. In fact, people i work with who don't know me, often comment that they find it hard to believe i'm in my late 50's ! Having young kids does have it's benefits too !

nottslass_2

I think you need to work out whether or not you feel your family is complete or you are just broody ?

We decided to have another baby because our family didn't yet feel "complete" Even if I was now still in my 20's or 30's I wouldn't want to have another child as we now have the family we had always hoped for.

hazyjo

Two of my friends had babies at 42/43. For one, it was her first - and hard work, but no more than it would have been before I suppose, and they're in quite a good financial situation and she was able to take a fair bit of time off. The other had two already (they were around 6/10 when he was born). She said it was harder but you do adjust. Unfortunately she's just been diagnosed with a tumour (pancreas) and has to have surgery in a couple of weeks. So make sure you have plenty of insurance, support, etc if you do decide to bring another baby into the world. I am worried sick about my friend and dread to think of the worries her family now have, especially with an 18 month old...

I am 43 and would happily be a mum (haven't got any). I look much younger so unless I age horrendously in the next 20 years, I doubt they'd think I was a grandparent

tbh, I still don't even feel old enough to have kids! Friends of mine have grandchildren already!

Jx

Metranil_Vavin

I thought I would be 100% all done after having my daughter in August last year at 40, but I can't quite shake the feeling that there is one more in there waiting to be born!

I have been very lucky with both my pregnancies, both went smoothly and my daughter was born in 45 minutes with no drugs needed at all!

I have had 3 miscarriages amongst my 2 children though, so not sure I could go through that again although I think MC's are sadly all too common amongst women generally of all ages.

My best friend at 40 has only just found herself in a place/r'ship where she wants to have a child now, and after a year of trying is now having various investigations done and seeing a fertility specialist next month.

You never know how things will pan out.

lostinrates

hazyjo wrote: »

old...

I am 43 and would happily be a mum (haven't got any). I look much younger so unless I age horrendously in the next 20 years, I doubt they'd think I was a grandparent


Jx

Lol, so did my mother till she had a baby! :rotfl: She looks good for age again now I'd say but I think that my child hood years weren't they kind to her

meer53

hazyjo wrote: »

Two of my friends had babies at 42/43. For one, it was her first - and hard work, but no more than it would have been before I suppose, and they're in quite a good financial situation and she was able to take a fair bit of time off. The other had two already (they were around 6/10 when he was born). She said it was harder but you do adjust. Unfortunately she's just been diagnosed with a tumour (pancreas) and has to have surgery in a couple of weeks. So make sure you have plenty of insurance, support, etc if you do decide to bring another baby into the world. I am worried sick about my friend and dread to think of the worries her family now have, especially with an 18 month old...

I am 43 and would happily be a mum (haven't got any). I look much younger so unless I age horrendously in the next 20 years, I doubt they'd think I was a grandparent

tbh, I still don't even feel old enough to have kids! Friends of mine have grandchildren already!

Jx

My biggest problem is my hair. I've been totally grey since my early 30's, it's really ageing.

I have it coloured, foils and an allover colour, but the week we went to London, i'd been on a training course for 3 weeks and hadn't been able to get to my hairdresser so my colour (usually a caramelly blonde) was a bit washed out.

Back to normal now, thankfully

millysg1

My only experience with this was with my Aunt who decided to have a third child at 42, oldest were 17 and 19 at the time. Unfotunatley, my aunt went into very bad PN Depression afterwards but tried to keep it very hidden with only my cousins knowing. This meant my cousins felt responsible for their mum and new baby brother. 5 years later, the youngest has practically brought up her brother and has never worked since leaving school. The lack of working has meant she has lost all confidence in herself and now her brother is at school she cant find anywork.

Not that this will happen to you, but just make sure you take into consideration your other children as it could have greater effects on them than you might imagine.

msb5262

Hi OP,
Lots of answers here are about first-time pregnancy and birth after 40...I think in your position I'd be more concerned about the issue of adding to an existing family. It might be quite hard on your present bunch if you start again - and often people want have a couple more children rather than just the one. It will have a huge physical, emotional and financial impact on you and on your kids...I'd think about it very carefully. Looking ahead, do you want to be potentially supporting students until your OH is over 70? It's a tricky question. I do know how you feel as I've felt a huge wish to have another baby but I've resisted it and I think my children have benefited.