Changing surname

double_mummy

i have recently done this for a friend passport banks everyone have accepted it i just did a declaration in word printed it off and got her to sign in new name and old name and witnessed by 2 people made about 10 copies and sent them off to everyone and no one even batted an eyelid about it inc passport and driving licence etc

she changed her name to her partners because they dont want to get married but all wanted to have the same surname

tea_lover

Thanks for all your thoughts. The two things I know for definite are that I won't be changing to my partner's name, and I won't be spending any money to change 'officially'. Other than that... still all up in the air lol.

I really like the idea of changing to my grandparents' name - but then part of me worries that I might offend my Dad. After all, if I'm changing back from my married name it 'should' be to my maiden name. Overall though I don't think he'd be that bothered, long-term.

hazyjo

tea_lover wrote: »

Thanks for all your thoughts. The two things I know for definite are that I won't be changing to my partner's name, and I won't be spending any money to change 'officially'. Other than that... still all up in the air lol.

I really like the idea of changing to my grandparents' name - but then part of me worries that I might offend my Dad. After all, if I'm changing back from my married name it 'should' be to my maiden name. Overall though I don't think he'd be that bothered, long-term.

Would he even need to know?! Can't he just still think you're using your married name?

I've changed most things back to my maiden name, but haven't at work. Partly cos I was separated when I first started here in 2000 and then went back to my maiden name, then got married and changed my name, then we got divorced and I'm just too 'shy' to put the email round saying I've changed my name/got divorced. I hate attention like that and am often emotional without expecting it. Gonna see if I can change it without having to send a mass email round and anyone sending to my old surname will just get forwarded on. Hmmm.

My nephew hates his surname (and isn't fond of his dad come to that matter) and uses my mum's maiden name, but then he's at stage school and they're given the chance to pick a new 'stage name'. His dad had the raging hump, but I suppose the circumstances are different to yours.

Go with what's right for you

Jx

tea_lover

Ooh now that's made me think... maybe I'll go to stage school and have a new career and a new name!

My Dad would definitely notice - I'm forever getting parcels posted to their house as they're in during the day. He wouldn't mind though I don't think - I just worry that it could be seen as a bit of an insult towards him.

I think this thread has definitely shown that I'm an over-thinker/worrier!

duchy

meritaten wrote: »

you may find that if you change your name the 'authorities' such as passport, driving licence will ask for an 'official' document. deed poll is perfectly acceptable. and not that expensive.

No

I changed my name by "Common usage" it's completely untrue that you have to do it by deed poll. You just have to write to everyone and tell them you are now using the new name. No issues with passports or banks. The only time I ever had anyone comment on it was when I was booking my wedding and the registrar commented on it and how I hadn't changed it by deed poll and how I should have.. I said I had changed it by common useage which was perfectly legal..... she agreed it was and got on with booking the wedding.

I do know people who changed their name to their partners because they were unable to marry (one was in Ireland before divorce was legal there and someone else's ex wouldn't contemplate divorce so they were waiting out the five years) and I understand that but I struggle to understand that why if you don't want to get married why you'd feel the need to have your partner's name. I just don't get it.

indsty

I changed my name after divorce 25 years ago. I didn't want to go back to my maiden name (due to dysfunctional family) so chose my own surname. I did change by deed poll which was very easy. It felt so liberating, and increased my confidence 100%.

WelshKitty

My mum kept her married name even though she hated it , she kept it as she wanted to have the same surname as me . Sadly she passed away suddenly and on her grave I put her surname and nee her maiden name . I will be getting married next year and as she won't be there I have added her maiden name to my surname which is now double barrelled and of course people assume it due to marriage . All I would say is if you want to change it do it I did it by deed poll and it was pretty simple took a few weeks to change it and all my account names

Georgiegirl256

That's lovely WelshKitty I'm sure your Mum would be chuffed to bits at that! Is your hubby to be going to take the same name too?

MissMoneypenny

meritaten wrote: »

you may find that if you change your name the 'authorities' such as passport, driving licence will ask for an 'official' document. deed poll is perfectly acceptable. and not that expensive.

You can do an official document yourself, for nothing. I did. I sent it to the passport office first and they had no problem with it. If the passport office don't have any problems with it, then no other organisation will.

TIP. Buy some really good quality paper to print it on as it gets handled by lots of people when it is sent off to all these organisations.

EDIT If you want the wording I used on my Deed of Name Change to renounce my former name, let me know.

WelshKitty

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

That's lovely WelshKitty I'm sure your Mum would be chuffed to bits at that! Is your hubby to be going to take the same name too?

I will be taking his name but I wanted it to show on wedding cert my double barrelled name so when people look back they could see her surname even though she wasn't there she was there , if that makes any sense lol.