Getting teenage boys to do homework

FBaby

I personally don't find it acceptable to consider it just a teenage thing. Homework is very important not just in terms of education but also managing responsibilities. My 14 DD has managed to do her homework totally independently since she was about 8. My boy needs more prompting and monitoring but at 11 he accepts that it is something he needs to do to the best of his ability. I still have to remind him on occasions to get on with it but never need to police him, he just gets on with it. If it became an issue and/or the quality of his work went down I would discipline him like I do about his behaviour or doing chores. That would involve taking his xbox away or telling him he can't see his friends until his homework is done in advanced and to good standard.

mrcow

This is how the conversation goes in my house.....

Can I play on the xbox?
Is your homework done?
No
Do it, show me it, then you can play.


Seems to work just fine.

bazzyb

Change the WiFi password each day, tell him he can have that day's password when he has finished his homework.

Lara44

Yes, my nephew doesn't get Minecraft time until homework is done and checked

Spendless

My 13yo usually does do his homework, but that's because his school gives automatic punishments for those not handed in, completed, so he learnt the hard way to do it- lost count of the number of problems he had during yr 7. Has he learnt to do it the day it's issued, take his time with it, improve on it and not leave it till the last minute?. Has he hell.!!!

I thought getting a place on a coveted 'access to <subject>' at a University via a scheme his school participates him, would motivate him into putting more effort in - instead he got paired up with a uni student who told him all about how they all spend a month in the library before their examMs cramming in the revision they haven't done the rest of the year. Gggrrrrr.

Hermia

I work in a library and we have several kids who come in every day after school and do their homework. They do that because there are too many tempting distractions at home and it also gives them a deadline (because they need to leave at a certain time). Is that an option? It seems a great idea to me because when they leave they know they can go home and enjoy themselves without any guilt.

YORKSHIRELASS

Hermia wrote: »

I work in a library and we have several kids who come in every day after school and do their homework. They do that because there are too many tempting distractions at home and it also gives them a deadline (because they need to leave at a certain time). Is that an option? It seems a great idea to me because when they leave they know they can go home and enjoy themselves without any guilt.

This is a great idea, unfortunately our local library is used as a youth club by kids who go in to play games on the computers so that wouldnt work!

We have had a chat and agreed that from now on homework will be done straight after tea. He doesnt want to do homework as soon as he gets in so this is a compromise. The idea is that he gets an hour or so when he gets in to "chill" then homework is done before the telly or xbox goes back on. I know this wont be plain sailing but I am determined that we will get into a routine with this.

Thinking about this calmly DS does struggle with organising himself and managing his time and I think he is maybe a bit immature in this respect. His concept of what can be done in an hour is unrealistic. Or maybe that just how all 13 year old boys are.

The difficulty is always how much you just let them get on with it - and deal with the consequences, and how much you help them with organising themselves.

Anyhow, your input has been helpful so thank you! I think we still have some battles ahead but I feel a bit more confident now. On the plus side he has done a really good piece of maths tonight which he is pleased with and I just hope he gets good comments from the teacher.

Spendless

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

He doesnt want to do homework as soon as he gets in so this is a compromise. The idea is that he gets an hour or so when he gets in to "chill" then homework is done before the telly or xbox goes back on.

I can totally understand this. A course about kids I went on a few years back the leaders talked about the importance of 'fire-gazing time'. I couldn't work in from work and immediately start on the household paperwork, making a meal is hard enough, which is why the recommendations of slow cookers to people working appear so much on this forum.

My son's school does do a homework club, but then the school bus has gone, if I'm working I can't go and get him, there isn't a direct public bus despite it only being a village away and the walking routes are fine in summer, but far from ideal in winter.

*Louise*

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

Our 13 yo son is a great lad, doing well at school, happy and popular and no problems with behaviour. But we are having real issues getting him to do his homework. He leaves it to the very last minute then does as little as possible, then he gets bad marks and gets told off.

At parents evening 3 of his teachers commented that his homework was poor compared to his class work. So what do we do? Do we take a softly softly approach and rewarding him for doing it? Should we be strict and say no telly/xbox until its done properly? Do we accept that this is probably just a phase and not make a big fuss?

The teachers werent all that helpful in suggesting how we should actually motivate him and at the moment we seem to have just made it into a very touchy subject. I only have to say the word homework and there is a lot of stomping about and huffing and puffing. If anyone else has had similar problems and can give us some advice I would love to know what you did.

My DS is 14 and appears to get less homework than my 6 year old DD:eek: (she is the only one of my 3 who will happily just get on with it without being told- long may it last!)

The general rule is get it done when you get in then do what you want. He knows that if there are any comments about it in his report cards he will be losing his Xbox and tablet until I think he has learned.

My 8yo DS sometimes does the huffing thing when I mention homework, when he does that he just doesn't get on the Xbox even after it's done. Can't be doing with that.

Hermia

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

This is a great idea, unfortunately our local library is used as a youth club by kids who go in to play games on the computers so that wouldnt work!

We have had a chat and agreed that from now on homework will be done straight after tea. He doesnt want to do homework as soon as he gets in so this is a compromise. The idea is that he gets an hour or so when he gets in to "chill" then homework is done before the telly or xbox goes back on. I know this wont be plain sailing but I am determined that we will get into a routine with this.

Thinking about this calmly DS does struggle with organising himself and managing his time and I think he is maybe a bit immature in this respect. His concept of what can be done in an hour is unrealistic. Or maybe that just how all 13 year old boys are.

The difficulty is always how much you just let them get on with it - and deal with the consequences, and how much you help them with organising themselves.

Anyhow, your input has been helpful so thank you! I think we still have some battles ahead but I feel a bit more confident now. On the plus side he has done a really good piece of maths tonight which he is pleased with and I just hope he gets good comments from the teacher.

Well done for making some headway and it's worth persevering because this issue will come up with GSCEs/A-levels/college/uni/work etc. I used to work in a college. The saddest thing was seeing bright kids fail their degree simply because they left coursework/revision to the last moment and then bodged it.