Reeling from the Reality Check

Puzzcat

Hi HB, So sorry your having a bad time at the moment, I do hope you have some time off work over the next week or so for some r & r.
Puzz.x

sugarbaby125

HB it is a shame that your Father is suffering ill health. I hope your Father eventually makes a complete recovery.

How on earth could your husband afford a £700 fireplace with your debt situation?

Surely the money would have been better spent reducing a debt, as having the fireplace of your dreams, yet possibly the worst Christmas in your life at the same time, seems to suggest your husband's priorities were upside down.

In fact, you are a long time married couple, yet you accept the responsibility for repayment of the debt as being solely your own. This continues to puzzle me and always will, as I thought that in a committed relationship between any 2 people, debts were usually managed by both people in the relationship regardless of how they were incurred. You were not the only person responsible for the debt, even if your husband was not doing the spending, he was certainly benefiting year on year from your financial largess.

sweetpea26

so sorry life is so tough for you at the moment HB...thinking about you

Historybuff

Here we go. Have a pop, sugar. It's not his debt, it's mine and he bought the fireplace from his pension lump sum, which he is using to do up the house bit by bit. Anyone else want to have a go?

trying_hard

Hello HB,

Just catching up with your diary. You have come so far and have been so strong to tackle your debt, keep going, you will get there trust me,

I had unsecured debts the same amount as you and went on a DMP for 8 very long tedious years. It is a struggle but you can and will do it. Sorry to hear about your Dad Best wishes x

Eager_Elephant

sugarbaby125 wrote: »

HB it is a shame that your Father is suffering ill health. I hope your Father eventually makes a complete recovery.

How on earth could your husband afford a £700 fireplace with your debt situation?

Surely the money would have been better spent reducing a debt, as having the fireplace of your dreams, yet possibly the worst Christmas in your life at the same time, seems to suggest your husband's priorities were upside down.

In fact, you are a long time married couple, yet you accept the responsibility for repayment of the debt as being solely your own. This continues to puzzle me and always will, as I thought that in a committed relationship between any 2 people, debts were usually managed by both people in the relationship regardless of how they were incurred. You were not the only person responsible for the debt, even if your husband was not doing the spending, he was certainly benefiting year on year from your financial largess.

I think you need to read a few more diaries and see how other couples manage finances and debts - not everyone does it the same way as you think they should.


My husband and I keep our finances separate and we are also paying off only our debt - we are in a committed relationship but this is what works for us. My debt was mainly run up by letting my husband have what he wanted when he wanted it and his debt was run up by him buying more things for himself. I am trying to pay my debt down as quickly as possible and he is making token payments - I will not be helping him clear his debt. That's just how it is.


It is fine to comment on someone's diary as this is an open forum but there is a time and a place to say what you have said and now is neither the time or the place.

Eager_Elephant

Historybuff wrote: »

Here we go. Have a pop, sugar. It's not his debt, it's mine and he bought the fireplace from his pension lump sum, which he is using to do up the house bit by bit. Anyone else want to have a go?

I don't want to have a go but I would just like to send some (((HB))).


Sorry to hear about your father - I hope you can make some more happy memories with him.


Gutted about the fireplace - but everything happens for a reason.


Sorry to hear you can't go to the Xmas meal but maybe for the best especially if you have to buy everyone drinks - why do the more senior staff have to buy the staff beneath them drinks when even though they will earn more they may have less disposable income.

Listerbelle

Historybuff wrote: »

Here we go. Have a pop, sugar. It's not his debt, it's mine and he bought the fireplace from his pension lump sum, which he is using to do up the house bit by bit. Anyone else want to have a go?

In your opening post you mentioned paying for your children's education partially contributed to your debt.

It seems you have put everyone else first, before yourself. Now it is your husband's turn to do the same IMO.

Puzzcat

HB, I don't think anyone is having a pop at you or your OH, we all handle our finances differently.
Stay strong, we are all with you not against you.
Puzz.Xx

in_need_of_direction

Just do what you need to get thru Christmas. It's a new year soon and a new start. Stay strong.