Reeling from the Reality Check

Dolphin1

Historybuff wrote: »

Balancing debt busting and enjoying life is a constant juggling act, but I've come to the conclusion you can't stop doing everything you want to. You just have to find a different, more cost effective way to do it!

Wise words!

Dolphin1

Historybuff wrote: »

£50 of Debenhams gift cards and a £10 John Lewis voucher!

Very nice indeed! :T

DawnW

Historybuff wrote: »

Got rid of two bin bags of rubbish today when decluttering a cupboard full of stuff. Came across a load of change dumped in the bags and also £50 of Debenhams gift cards and a £10 John Lewis voucher! There was also a voucher for a manicure I had received as a gift last Christmas, but it had expired! Damn!

Is it worth contacting the manicurist and asking if they will honor your voucher? No harm in asking!

Historybuff

DawnW, I will ask them. As you say, no harm in that.

Historybuff

Just spent my gift vouchers on two bottles of perfume and a luxury handcream. Free postage too, so not a real penny spent. It felt so wrong to be being indulgent! But they will last ages. I am pleased my attitude to shopping has changed so much. At one time I would spend hours shopping and buying stuff I didn't really need and getting into debt over it. Now I see it as a waste of time unless I'm going out for something specific. Now just that £10 John Lewis voucher to spend then I'm done.
Having a lazy day today...

in_need_of_direction

A new bottle of perfume always lifts my mood.

sugarbaby125

Hi Historybuff, I hope you and your husband enjoyed the gig. You are really getting into the decluttering. I like an organised, streamlined home. Well done for starting to file all of your important documents, it will set you up for the future, as documents will not be overlooked and will be easy to find. It must have felt lovely to spend the £50 Debenhams Gift Card with no accompanying guilt and you still have the £10 John Lewis one to spend. When you are being so careful with money, you need to have the occasional treat to keep you going and lift your spirits. Good luck to you and your husband

Historybuff

Thanks, guys. I'm definitely carrying on until I'm clutter free!
No carboot sale today...weather is against it. Shame as I could have done with a few extra quid to last till Friday and PAYDAY! Another NSD on the cards, then!
Feeling a little bit meh about the house today too. Went round to a friends house for a BBQ yesterday and was stunned by their immaculate garden and beautifully presented house. It made me and OH realise just how neglected our house has become. So something has to be done about it, but where to start and what to prioritise? We are having a party in September, so have around five weeks to do as much as we can to improve at least the outside and downstairs. Problem is how to sort it with no money? Right. I'm having this cup of tea, then cracking on with making a plan...a thirty day plan with jobs for each day to start with.

Historybuff

Well, today I've managed to shift another three bags of rubbish out into the bin, I've streamlined the dresser...taken out duplicates of things to sell at the next carboot or give to the charity shop...and cleaned the kitchen. Feeling a bit better than earlier. Still a long way to go, though. Going to tackle the upstairs after tea. Spare bedroom and paper mountain are going to get whupped this evening.
We have decided to take advantage of the weather down South next week, so are going out in the van again for four days from Tues. I've booked the campsite, but have only had to pay the deposit, so still have the £170 I earmarked for the buffer fund intact. OH is paying for the rest and the shopping etc and I will pay back half when I get paid on Fri. Going 50/50 is working...before I would just pay everything and go into the credit card if the money ran out. That's how the finances got into such a state. No chance of that now as I'm super aware of exactly how much money there is and YNAB makes sure I know where every £1 is going.
I'm enjoying the short breaks we're having in the van. So much to look forward to.

Eager_Elephant

Just wanted to post your 1st post made on 9/2/14:

Historybuff wrote: »

Well, I have finally faced up to the huge debt mountain I have to climb after years of denial when I was spending without thinking of the consequences.
Paid for three children to go through university, supported them with living expenses etc. Husband took early retirement and a small part time job which paid him his spending money and I took on all the bills etc thinking I could keep our living standards up to what they had been before.
Five years down the line after using credit to keep us going and helping youngest daughter start her own business, the shaky credit pile has started to fall down.
Minimum payments can't be met and I know something has to be done about it.
Foolishly I kept all the spiralling debt from my husband in an attempt to fool myself that it wasn't happening. It was the classic ignore the letters, hide them and don't open them and it will go away scenario.
Well now my husband is taking his pension and I have to come clean about the debt situation. I have spent many many sleepless nights worrying about how to tell him and what will happen. I can't even tell him what all the money has been spent on because it has trickled away over at least ten years, escalating in the last five. Robbing Peter to pay Paul thinking it was under control, but it was not.
He knows about the overdraft because he found out about it when he went to sort out about banking his pensions...it did not go down at all well. He has no idea of the scale of the other debts. I owe nearly double the amount of our first mortgage...it's really bad.
I have today taken my first steps in trying to address the debt. I've worked out the actual amounts owing to every creditor and taken the decision to work with Step Change to move forward. Their straightforward advice means I have a plan to at least get started on. I've made moves to open a new basic bank account, cancelled the direct debits and cut up the cards. Tomorrow I will send in the DMP forms and talk to some of the creditors. A bit more thinking tonight about how and when to break it to my husband.
I've had a massive wake up call, I know, but I do feel that taking positive action to address what is a huge problem and being able to accept it is a big step forward for me. My head is out of the sand and it's time to take control...hope it's not too late!

And now look how far you have come. It is great that you and DH can share some of the expenses:

Historybuff wrote: »

Well, today I've managed to shift another three bags of rubbish out into the bin, I've streamlined the dresser...taken out duplicates of things to sell at the next carboot or give to the charity shop...and cleaned the kitchen. Feeling a bit better than earlier. Still a long way to go, though. Going to tackle the upstairs after tea. Spare bedroom and paper mountain are going to get whupped this evening.
We have decided to take advantage of the weather down South next week, so are going out in the van again for four days from Tues. I've booked the campsite, but have only had to pay the deposit, so still have the £170 I earmarked for the buffer fund intact. OH is paying for the rest and the shopping etc and I will pay back half when I get paid on Fri. Going 50/50 is working...before I would just pay everything and go into the credit card if the money ran out. That's how the finances got into such a state. No chance of that now as I'm super aware of exactly how much money there is and YNAB makes sure I know where every £1 is going.
I'm enjoying the short breaks we're having in the van. So much to look forward to.

Well done historybuff!!:T