Reeling from the Reality Check

gallygirl

Just read your diary from the start and you are doing great :T.

I get where you are coming from with wanting to help children out. But really, the best thing you can do is try to teach them what not to do! If they think they can keep coming to the bank of mum then they will keep doing that. So, I hope that helping son out to get to his work is a loan and not a gift? You can only afford to give him it as you've been getting up at the crack of dawn doing car boot sales and 'crocheting your own yogurt' from Jack's cookbook. Has he being doing similar? I suspect he's been tucked up in bed and buying ready meals etc as he doesn't need to be careful, knowing you'll help him out. So yes, give him the money but tell him when you need it back by. The bank of mum has gone into liquidation :eek:.

Good luck .

Historybuff

Thanks Galleygirl! I have told him. Spelled it out. My days of looking after everyone else are over as far as money is concerned.

wantabetterlife

Historybuff wrote: »

Thanks Galleygirl! I have told him. Spelled it out. My days of looking after everyone else are over as far as money is concerned.

Good for you HB, people respect you far more when they know they can no longer take the mick.

Historybuff

Well, the first standing orders have gone out and the DDs are all set up. Fly in the ointment tonight...one of the CCs has added over limit and late payment charges despite the letter saying they are freezing them! Grrrrr! Another £91 has been added to the account since I first rang them in Feb! More time to be spent on the phone. This time I will back it up with a letter...learned that already. Three steps forward and two steps back. Still going in the right direction though.

Historybuff

Wow! Just contacted the bank re getting a payment plan on the overdrafts and they won't consider it unless a request comes from Stepchange, despite me telling them that I have taken their advice and am self managing my own DMP. They said as far as they are concerned the account has not gone over the limit and is still being operated as agreed, so they will not agree that I am in financial difficulties! Errr, I've just rung to tell them that I am! So I have got to leave the account to go over the limit with the interest charges, then when the account goes into default, then they might talk to me about entering a payment plan!
Rang SC and was reassured that should the bank insist upon going through them it would not be a problem to switch all the other creditors to go through them as well because it's an all or nothing scenario!
Hells bells...I know they are not going to be very pleased, but I thought they were supposed to be sympathetic to people in financial difficulties...it takes a lot of courage to pick up that phone and call them to admit you are in trouble! Feeling meh!

in_need_of_direction

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, put it in writing. Set out your purpose in contacting them and why you have issue with what they have said. Even quote some of their own corporate blurb re supporting those in financial difficulty. I'd also invest in recorded delivery.

In_Debt_Bet

Historybuff wrote: »

I first got a credit card when Access started in 1975/76 and I have probably been in debt to some degree or other since that day. I'm not going to even attempt to work out how much interest and bank charges I've paid over the years, it would be too depressing. How different it would have been if I had understood properly how to run a budget and been made to do it. Would I have listened, though? I don't think so. My parents always said, 'Neither a borrower or lender be!' I didn't listen to them, otherwise I would never have got that first Access card where all the problems started.
I've turned a corner now, though, three months of no overspending and this month's first budget surplus! Feeling good. Can't wait till Friday - payday, hurrah!

Hello Historybuff (love your username)

I just wanted to pop in and say hi, I've just read your thread through from the beginning, I'm really impressed by the progress you've made, you really are on a mission.

Your post above struck a chord with me, my dad had a credit card but always paid the balance off in full each month, when I started work and turned eighteen he warned me about credit cards but I thought I knew better and could handle them, I've been in debt ever since - I'm 47 this year and am finally doing something about it.

To any young people out there - if your parents try to warn you about credit cards/debt please listen to them - don't end up like me regretting it nearly 30 years later.

Good luck HB and stay strong - you're doing great!

Bet x

Historybuff

Thanks INOD, I certainly will put it in writing. If nothing else over the last few weeks, I have learnt that! I think I will have to take out some cash from the overdraft accounts to force them over the limit to get the default. Felt a bit stressed today and that's the first time that old feeling came back since I made that first phone call!
Bet, thanks for reading and for your support. I agree about making the younger people aware, but how will we make them listen? I think my own children are OK, but they have managed to stay out of too much debt because I have always bailed them out!
I so wish my LBM had come way earlier! I'm on the countdown to retirement, so have a massive incentive to succeed with the debt reduction. Once the overdrafts are sorted I will feel a whole lot better!

turfy6

Hi HB I too recognise myself with your post about the Access card, mine was a barclaycard given to me when I worked for the bank way back in 77, I too never seemed to able to get rid of it. Its gone now though wish I'dve listened to my parents too.!! Still were all getting there now, hopefully we can pass on our wisdom gained.:T

turfy6

Hi HB hope all is ok with you.:)