Reeling from the Reality Check

bettyruth

Hi history buff, I have just been reading through your posts.
well done with all you have achieved so far.
So much of your experiances ring true with me.. I am 21,000 in debt, bank loan, overdraft, c.c, catalogues etc.... I cant even say what I have spent money on..shockingly! As you said..keeping everyone else happy!
my husband had no idea...to cut a long story short he found out I was in debt Total shock for him, I can totally understand you not wanting to tell your hubby... to be honest it has been the worst part for me... I just had to be honest and I put everything down on paper, and just handed it to him...that was yesterday, I think he is still shocked but I hope we will be ok.
I have been in touch with step change, and think it will be dmp, you are so brave doing it yourself, I dont think I could! I have opened a basic bank account today to get the ball rolling, i am terrified!:eek:

Historybuff

Hi Bettyruth,
Thanks for reading and posting. Facing up to the debt problem is the hardest thing. Well done for doing that and even more well done for coming clean to your OH. I haven't been able to do that...stili can't face that yet. You have done the right thing getting in contact with SC. They will help you through making a start on tackling the debts and it's a good move if you are not ready to talk to the creditors yourself. Don't be terrified. You've done the hard part by facing up, talking to people about things and getting the ball rolling. It's so hard, but, believe me, you will feel so much better when you realise that there is a way out! I worried and was anxious, not sleeping etc for months before I plucked up the courage to face up to things. Now I can see there is a workable solution it is like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. What has helped more than anything is being able to talk on this forum and also read what others have written. I thought I was the only person in this situation at first, but now I realise that there are many many people trapped in a cycle of mounting debt trying to get out. You have taken the first steps. I'm so glad I did. Wish it had been a lot earlier on, but there you are. I think you need to be at the end of the line to come out of denial and finally admit the problem. I'm just glad to be able to start to see the amounts go down. It still makes me feel sick to see the amounts written down, but at least now they are going in the right direction.
Good luck Bettyruth!

Historybuff

Well today I have been on a 'Preparing for Retirement' course which was very enlightening, if a little scary. There is such a lot to think about, not least the fact that because of having to pay off the debts and mortgage, I can't even think about retiring until at least 2022 unless a miracle happens. Bit depressing that! There might be light at the end of the tunnel with 'phased' retirement. I'm going to find out more about that and see if it's a viable option.
On the budget front, I had my new internet banking details through today, so am up and running now with the new account. DDs being set up tomorrow. One of the CCs that had agreed I could pay the first payment of the new agreement on 3rd April, had sent me a letter dated 4th March asking for the payment on 3rd March! Obviously a mistake, but I had to ring them up and pay early because of it...grrrrr! Just shows that you need to keep a really close eye on all communications. I'm now way over budget for this month and the extra has had to come out of the food and emergency pots. Fifteen more days to go till pay day. Think I'll be able to make it.
Also in the post today was the car tax to be paid out of the next salary...will I ever get on top of it all! Hope so. Loving 'You Need a Budget'. It's keeping me on track with all the unexpected things that have popped up this month. Having been carefully keeping to the budget this month, I can see where I have been going wrong all these years. In the past I would have just paid it all without thinking and put the majority on the credit cards, promptly forgetting about it. Moving money about from one pot to the other so the budget doesn't go overspent has made me see how disciplined you need to be to stay on top of it. And paying in cash brings costs home too. If only I had done this year ago! Hey ho! Look forward, not back

Rollercoaster_Rach

Oh I know how you feel! Just remember even if not much gets paid off due to bills you are way more in control now each month....here's to a future where we are 'money aware!' xxx
RR x

in_need_of_direction

I agree with Rach. Sometimes it's as much about not increasing the debt as it is about reducing it.

Historybuff

Thanks guys, you are absolutely right. Making sure you are not increasing debt is the key. Still really wish I had sussed this out years ago, though.

Puzzcat

Hi HB,


Just read your diary from the beginning and echo what everyone else says. you are doing great...


I'm on a dmp with stepchange started Nov last year with a whopping 60k debt.. Its now down into the 58k's which is lovely as I've been battling with it for 5 years and it hasn't been going anywhere....!!


My OH knows I have debt but has no idea how much... The only people who know are on here...!!


I wish you luck with your journey and shall subscribe to cheer you on.


Puzz. x

Steerpike88

Hi HistoryBuff have been reading your diary and I have subscribed.

After getting out of some debt trouble a few years ago my ex partner left me in I have been embracing a frugal lifestyle (not always successfully!) but the main thing I learned that I could save so much money on was my food budget, my OH and I eat so well on a very limited food budget.

Just buy looking through the fridge and using up odds and sods for soups, stews and risottos. We buy value brands and make a whole bunch of stuff from scratch, which we freeze or dry out. It helps that we eat mostly vegetarian foods, but I phased that in.

By having a soup night, a risotto night, bean chilli night, fake meat dinner when I put bacon bits in something to disguise it was just pasta. He clocked on when he realised he'd only had bacon bits, and the odd bit of reduced ham in his sandwiches for about six weeks.

Unlike my previous partner OH was delighted and completely fine with veggie meals, as he's concerned with his health.

A Girl Called Jack really helped me discover some great recipes on a low budget income.

I'm not saying stop buying and eating meat or stop your eating habits, but I now see throwing food away as just throwing money in the bin. And not using up those extra jars of pesto and tins of spaghetti by the end of the month is just slowly eating into your budget.

I think I'm a bit of a leftover freak, but honestly read her blog! Or you can take out her new cookbook for free in your local library (probably) ask if they have it!

Good luck with everything, and you should be so very proud of yourself!

Historybuff

Thanks Puzzcat and Steerpike88, it's good to have people to compare notes with, especially seeing you have a similar amount of debt to get rid of. I like the idea of saving more on food. I'm not doing bad this month, I don't think. I'm still working through the £150 I drew out at the end of Feb and intend to make it last to the end of the month...supplemented by the carboot money. I will definitely have a look at the Girl Called Jack book. I'm trying to do a bit more veggie meals as I can take or leave meat really. I have a good book by Leon Lewis I picked up at Cropredy music festival last year from his lovely veggie stall. It has lots of tips about foraging and using wild ingredients as well.
On the financial front, this evening I had letters from one of the CCs confirming the payment plan and the suspension of interest and charges...hurrah! This month I have paid a bit more than I will be paying in future because I had to bring a couple of the cards back in under the limit before the plans could start. Two more weeks to go till pay day...hope I can last out.
This weekend I need to get the DDs set up on the new account so as not to miss any payments. Then at the start of next month I need to contact the old bank to see if I can get a payment plan set up on the overdrafts to get them paid off as soon as I can. Feeling good about progress so far...the amounts have already started to go down

Steerpike88

If you search for her blog shes got a ton of recipes free on there already.
You need to click on a post and scroll to the bottom, past the comments and there's a search bar.

Some of her most popular ones are:
Carrot, Cumin and Kidney Bean Burger
Bean Chilli
Banana &Tea Curry
Mushroom Chasseur

I'd link them to you but I'm not allowed as a newbie. They might think I'm being paid to promote her book cause I think I mention her on every thread.
She's like my #1 "secret" tip

That and regrowing veggies from scraps. I've picked up some reduced thyme and trying to see if I can root them in a glass of water, rather than buying the whole plant. Nothing yet!

Glad to see you're making progress and staying upbeat!