Budgeting Service?

AngelPie78

dreaming wrote: »

Well, if you are not driving the car you have immediately saved £130 this month so you could give that to the landlord as well as what I suggested.
I know that as a mother you want to treat your kids (and yourself) - especially as it seems you and they may have a had a rough time in the past. However, the best thing you can do for them is to take control and show them that you can learn from your mistakes. Unfortunately you are the only one who can get out of this mess, but there is help available. You just have to be open to accepting it and not keep repeating that you are useless etc..
And please don't take this the wrong way but debts of £34k is NOT a short term problem. You have to accept that this will take some hard work for a long time to fix - but you can do it. Please try posting on the debt-free boards. Apart from the advice about budgeting etc. the people are very supportive. A Debt-Free-Diary might help to keep you focussed when you feel down in the dumps with it all and tempted to spend.
I wish you well.

Heya, yeah I know but I honestly can't EVER see myself being debt-free. I can't ever see me even getting a job or starting my business when I graduate so I guess that where I get a bit "meh" about it all...sorry that's my whole family history and background coming out. Goes back to the counselling etc...

you might be run over by a bus tomorrow...

getmore4less

AngelPie78 wrote: »

thanks for taking the time to do this, I really appreciate your help

I've made some adjustments to the first version of the SOA so that should answer some of your questions.

My daughter lives with me full time and she is my size so there's
(share clothes)
essentially two adults in the house all the time. I have my two boys half the time and they eat like trolls lol.

See my other post with regards to the car...
(dump/SORN the car you can't afford it anyway)

my gas and electric are extremely high but then I'm at home A lot, and most of the time in the day. My house is all open plan and so very cold. We have the heating on a lot. I am currently sitting here with the gas fire on, in three layers and my hands are freezing at the tips while I type...brrrr...
(go out more, library uni etc. use their internet for study)

Consider finding a better place to live(although that may be hard)

The parking is for the annual parking pass at Uni,
(cancel now you don't have a car)
otherwise it's £5 per day for three days a week to park. There is no free parking around uni, so don't bother asking that question. I haven't used the car in 2014
(that's a month wasted already)
because it needs taxing and insuring anyway. I tend to bus or walk to uni. The bus pass is for my daughter to get to school. It used to be £33 but when she turns 16 in two weeks, she has to pay the adult fare of £66 per week. this may change pending a few other things, but i wanted to put worst case scenario in. She can't pay this out of her allowance, because she has other things to pay for and that is what her child benefit is for IMO.

I tried cutting the Virgin Media bill but it's a no-can-do. Same with O2 for the mobile. Contracts and everything.

The boys' dad REFUSES to pay for all of our son's football fees and I'm not having my child have no life because of my mistakes. Call me stubborn or whatever, but they miss out on so much as it is, he can have this one thing a month IMO.

I'm not getting rid of my dogs - I need them for my protection [long story].

none of my debts are frozen as far as i am aware.

i guess my daughter could probably pay the spotify for a while as I've paid in for a couple of years and she does use it aswell.

The Simply Be and Very are for clothes and are in my mum's name so I need to pay those. That's an essential.

not in the eyes of the law and you probably won't be able to count them in any official SOA(they come under relative debt on a SOA)

I can tell you now where all my money went last year: eating out/takeaways (cos i get bored of cooking ALL the time), coffees with my friends or at uni, bits and pieces for my home and on craft things (I LOVE to make things!) and general other crap. I don't really have anything to show for all my money going. I know that's awful and I know it's a problem but I can't seem to break the habit.

There you have it

There is a thing in the debt world the "light bulb moment" how people get to where they are is only of interest to help identify the potential solutions.

One thing that seems to be the issue is that you can't prioritize where you money goes and what is really left. this has resulted in the debt as you just kept spending money you did not have.

This is not a short term cash flow issue,

I suspect your income is very tight on just essentials and as you fine tune the SOA this will become much more evident.

The real problem is not the income stream is bumpy it is you are running out of people to borrow from.

Might seem hard,

but that's what I see you need to balance the budget, short term this might mean letting the landlord down but currently every penny you spend is putting your current home at risk.

AngelPie78

yep you're right and I have run out of people to borrow from BUT money is NOT the be all and end all of EVERYTHING. I just came on here for some advice and, with not disrespect intended, you don't know me, my history, background or life.

And whereas, I REALLY appreciate your help, I do think that maybe things are a little too black and white from where you are sitting and looking in on my situation.

Trying to find somewhere else to live, going to the library (without a car or bus fare) is not easy and is an absolute waste of my time. This is not a cost effective option. Again, you might live next door to a library but I don't. I also have other responsibilities near to home and need to be at home as much as possible. That's why I went to a local Uni.

Living life is just as important as keeping a roof over our heads and paying debts etc. I am not just existing, I want me and my kids to live aswell.

We never know what's going to happen and I am not going to be someone on their death bed wishing she had spent more time with her children on their birthdays and given them experiences they remember.

I agree, I absolutely cannot prioritise where my money should go. I get £165 on Thursday. £84 of that will already be swallowed on my overdraft and so what do i do with the rest? Feed the kids and myself for £30 and then what to do with the rest?? When I owe SO much money and have bills coming out of my ears, I do not know where to put it and that is where I need some help. I can't do it on my own. I have no idea where to start. That's why I came on here but you absolutely keep changing what you think my problem is. I clearly stated that the problem is that I want someone to pay my bills with my money for me. You have basically just agreed with me - four pages and God knows how many hours later.

Like I said, you weren't listening to me. I know what my problem is.:)

CLAPTON

AngelPie78 wrote: »

That's why I came on here but you absolutely keep changing what you think my problem is. I clearly stated that the problem is that I want someone to pay my bills with my money for me. You have basically just agreed with me - four pages and God knows how many hours later.

Like I said, you weren't listening to me. I know what my problem is.:)

in the nicest possible way, you say you want some-one to pay your bills with your money
but basically you don't have the money for the life you aspire to.

AngelPie78

CLAPTON wrote: »

in the nicest possible way, you say you want some-one to pay your bills with your money
but basically you don't have the money for the life you aspire to.

But I have enough to pay my rent, fuel, food, water etc. which is all I want to start paying at the moment.

Exactly what life is it you think I aspire to?

Am happy for the bills to be paid, minimum debts be paid, be able to eat well and wear new-ish clothes (more than happy to shop in charity shops) I don't have a passion for handbags/shoes/hair/nails/cigarettes/drink etc. I am more than content with a cheap bottle of plonk once a week, a couple of coffees out with my yummy mummy or uni friends and maybe a small budget for yarn or scrapbooking supplies.

Like I said, the holiday was a very silly buy and other than that and Spotify (at £5 a month) I can't really see where I've shown that I want an extravagent life. ALL of the debt I have is from at least two years ago [before I got divorced] I don't think I've accrued any new debt since then.

MPH80

AngelPie78 wrote: »

Still doesn't solve my immediate problem but I think all of you are right for making long term changes

Like I said, the assumption is that all of this is being paid NOW and that I magically have over £2k in my account. But I don't. I have -£84.

Ok - to pick up on this specifically first:

You're right - a lot of what we're talking about is the medium term.

But you have these priorities right now:
Rent, Council Tax, Food, Heat/power, Transport.

That's it. Nothing - and I mean nothing - including those birthdays - matters. You're at critical mass - if you don't stop and take stock - you'll never gain control.

You mentioned this:

but what do i do about my friends/the childminder I am paying?? They've already threatened court action etc and I have to SEE them. They also know where I live etc. I don't really want them camping out on my doorstep. Not sure about this one do you think it's ok to do that?

Well - bankruptcy will simply put them on the creditors list and they are going to be quite far down! You have to face the fact you'll probably need to find a new childminder for example. If you owe them money then when you go bankrupt - they fall onto your creditors list - as does your mum with the money you owe her. That's a fact of life.

There's an expression - trying to have a champagne lifestyle on beer money. I don't think you're trying to do that - but you are trying to have a beer lifestyle on tap water money.

Fundamentally - with your income - you should be able to survive reasonably well and have the life style you wish. You're only on tap water money because you've been spending too much previously.

The bankruptcy is going to force you to live without credit - https://www.gov.uk/bankruptcy/restrictions. So you need to get your house in order.

No one else is going to sort your money out for you. Even a service like Think Money can only work if you've actually got more money coming in than going out. If you walk out and get a new mobile phone and set a new DD up - think money will pay it - but then that food money will go down!

M.

Vikipollard

Monthly Income Details
Average monthly income after tax....... 2465.76
comprised:
Student loans: £11,519.12 paid in 3 payments Sep/Jan/Apr
Tax Credits: weekly £165
Child Benefit: four weekly £130
Housing benefit: fortnightly £300



So, based on the above - and discounting the student loan as it isn't going to come in until May - you have £1390 coming in every four weeks.


You can at least cover £500 of your rent in that, food and the ESSENTIALS, like electricity/gas. Are these actual direct debits? Have you tried to switch utility providers. My husband was out of work for eight months through a bitterly cold winter and did not run up huge gas bills. He layered up - as I know you say you do. Put a hat on if you have to. Cold hands? Mug of hot water to drink. Cheap and healthy and holding it warms your fingers. .


Get rid of the car. If it's kn*ckered, got to a site like Cartakeback or such like and get a price for them to fetch it and scrap it. Depending on the car, might get you £100. You aren't using it anyway as it has no insurance so you clearly can manage without.


And sorry, but take responsibility for yourself. Budgeting service? Even if it existed it would cost and you don't have the money for that. Please don't say it would be money worth paying, because unless you change your mindset about spending, no one else is going to be able to manage your money either. You will still spend what you don't have.


Overly harsh? No. Brutally honest. I've been in the mire and had to claw my way out too. Same situation, divorce, left former home with nothing, ran up humungous debt, just on living expenses (food etc) and buying furniture if I couldn't get second hand. Didn't know about Gumtree etc then!! My kids (11 and 12 at the time) didn't have the treats, fancy parties, holidays etc, but what they did learn was how to manage money because they were told exactly what I did wrong. They never once kicked out at having less because they understood why.


The only person who can do this for you is you.

getmore4less

AngelPie78 wrote: »

Like I said, you weren't listening to me. I know what my problem is.:)

I don't think so, you keep saying its a short term problem

I still don't think you can balance the budget on just the essentials

OK a radical suggestion(OK I don't know your kids so may be a no go)

get No.1 D on the case, she is approaching adulthood and needs to learn about this stuff anyway.

Go over the budgets and cash flow with her train her to be the monitor, have every spend approved by her.

getmore4less

AngelPie78 wrote: »

But I have enough to pay my rent, fuel, food, water etc. which is all I want to start paying at the moment.

Exactly what life is it you think I aspire to?
.........

..........
ALL of the debt I have is from at least two years ago [before I got divorced] I don't think I've accrued any new debt since then

2 months behind and no income to pay another month(or two)...

As I say ignoring most of the other debts, I don't think you have a balanced budget on the basics.

AngelPie78

Vikipollard wrote: »

Monthly Income Details
Average monthly income after tax....... 2465.76
comprised:
Student loans: £11,519.12 paid in 3 payments Sep/Jan/Apr
Tax Credits: weekly £165
Child Benefit: four weekly £130
Housing benefit: fortnightly £300



So, based on the above - and discounting the student loan as it isn't going to come in until May - you have £1390 coming in every four weeks.


You can at least cover £500 of your rent in that, food and the ESSENTIALS, like electricity/gas. Are these actual direct debits? Have you tried to switch utility providers. My husband was out of work for eight months through a bitterly cold winter and did not run up huge gas bills. He layered up - as I know you say you do. Put a hat on if you have to. Cold hands? Mug of hot water to drink. Cheap and healthy and holding it warms your fingers. .


Get rid of the car. If it's kn*ckered, got to a site like Cartakeback or such like and get a price for them to fetch it and scrap it. Depending on the car, might get you £100. You aren't using it anyway as it has no insurance so you clearly can manage without.


And sorry, but take responsibility for yourself. Budgeting service? Even if it existed it would cost and you don't have the money for that. Please don't say it would be money worth paying, because unless you change your mindset about spending, no one else is going to be able to manage your money either. You will still spend what you don't have.


Overly harsh? No. Brutally honest. I've been in the mire and had to claw my way out too. Same situation, divorce, left former home with nothing, ran up humungous debt, just on living expenses (food etc) and buying furniture if I couldn't get second hand. Didn't know about Gumtree etc then!! My kids (11 and 12 at the time) didn't have the treats, fancy parties, holidays etc, but what they did learn was how to manage money because they were told exactly what I did wrong. They never once kicked out at having less because they understood why.


The only person who can do this for you is you.

Heya,

thanks for taking the time to reply. My house is fine. I don't need anything. The kids are ok for clothes/toys/whatever and they don't kick off if they don't get their way so that's ok.

Can you just help me priortise please?

If I have £1390 for four weeks.
£500 - rent
£200 - food
£145 - gas/electric (usage only, not paying any of the debt)
£75 - water


That's the essentials so where should I spend the remaining £470? I have this trip to London, my son's birthday, my mum's catalogue bills, council tax debt, daughter's bus pass - the list is endless and this is the point where I go into mush and can't cope.

help!

Also, what do I say to my landlord about not paying the rest of the money??

x