Official Trying to Conceive - Thread 11

rinroo

Thanks Claire. I had the coil for 8 years up until today and have not had a a proper period since (sorry tmi) so not really sure what to expect if im honest

musogirl295

Welcome Rinroo!

We were going with the not telling anybody (except for my mum, as I had bad morning sickness with DD and I might need her help with school runs in the early days.) Having spoken to dear mother this morning it would appear that she has told not only her partner (expected this) but also my brother and his ex partner! :mad: I didn't explicitly tell her not to tell anybody that we are TTC, but given that there isn't actually anything to tell yet and the fact that people generally like to tell people news themselves I expected her to understand. Am I being unreasonable? DH is going to be so :mad:

White-as-Snow

welcome rinroo :beer:
the more the merrier we just wish you a short visit here (in the nicest way possible ofc)
#babydust

lulu_92

Welcome rinroo

In the nicest possible way I hope you leave this thread quickly (with a BFP in hand!)

Oh muso I would be annoyed too

AFM - not feeling too happy today. Was under the impression that I would get a bonus in my next pay and my payslip has arrived with nothing extra in it, so I'm worrying because I don't have enough money to enjoy Christmas or my week off We usually get spoken to by the boss when the payslips come in but he hasn't yet so I'm crossing my fingers that they've moved it to next month.

Claire_A87

musogirl295 wrote: »

We were going with the not telling anybody (except for my mum, as I had bad morning sickness with DD and I might need her help with school runs in the early days.) Having spoken to dear mother this morning it would appear that she has told not only her partner (expected this) but also my brother and his ex partner! :mad: I didn't explicitly tell her not to tell anybody that we are TTC, but given that there isn't actually anything to tell yet and the fact that people generally like to tell people news themselves I expected her to understand. Am I being unreasonable? DH is going to be so :mad:

I'd be fuming. My OH doesn't want anyone knowing either. For both of us we just don't want the pressure of people wondering if we're pregnant yet, specially if it takes a while. He knows I've told one friend...but er, not 2 more that I may have discussed it with :whistle:

Seriously though, it's not your Mum's news to tell people, especially as you explicitly told her not to. I'd be having serious words.

rinroo

Thank you all for the lovely welcome

I hope its a short stay too!

Musogirl, this is the exact reason we are keeping it quiet my mil - bless her cant keep anything to herself and i'd hate for the boys to find out anything from someone else, plus I don't want people constantly asking if i am/am not.

musogirl295

I think the trouble is that mum doesn't really understand my fears about it not happening. She fell pregnant with me and then my brother on her first month off BC. I know she's quite surprised that we're into month 5 and she was surprised when I said it took 4 months to conceive DD. I just think she didn't think it through. She realises now that I'm not happy and has spoken to both the people she told and asked them not to pass it on but I don't trust my ex SIL. There are tensions in the family because of her and I wouldn't put it past her (ex SIL) to tell my dad in the heat of an argument or something.

DH is going to be upset because he doesn't like feeling like we're telling everyone else and not his parents, which I completely understand. Having said that when his parents last visited, his mum gave this long speech about how she was defending us to the rest of the family who think it strange that we only have one child (DD is 4 and a half). She meant well, but in doing so ended up saying that she was quite happy to only have one grandchild and that she didn't need anymore! Talk about putting your foot in it!

Families! I have to laugh or I might cry.

Claire_A87

I think this is part of the issue - people can't end up doing right for doing wrong, or the politics of relationships end up getting in the way of the bigger picture. Obviously we know the ugly side of it, but TTC should be exciting (particularly in the early stages) & having to deal with who knows and who doesn't ends up getting in the way. There's not a chance any of our families will know anything until I see a scan pic!

lulu_92

Claire_A87 wrote: »

I think this is part of the issue - people can't end up doing right for doing wrong, or the politics of relationships end up getting in the way of the bigger picture. Obviously we know the ugly side of it, but TTC should be exciting (particularly in the early stages) & having to deal with who knows and who doesn't ends up getting in the way. There's not a chance any of our families will know anything until I see a scan pic!

I think it's nice to have your own little secret but you should be able to tell who you want without worrying. three of my friends know (but two of them are pg, one was TTC for 4 months other was unplanned) and I told my mum but I know she won't tell anyone.

I do feel on my own with it sometimes as OH is like a closed book and because of his past experiences and the time of year it is he is very reluctant to talk about it, although he is getting better every day. This is why this forum has been amazing for me

Cath_Ster

Welcome rinroo.... And congratulations dingdong!! Here's hoping for many more BFPs this month!