Should I tackle her and how?

venetianlagoon

What a nerve, 13 year of no contact then a request for a £1000, unbelievable cheek.

Lily-Rose_3

I agree V ^^ I have known extended/distant family members in the past, who I rarely saw/barely spoke to me/never even sent Christmas cards, suddenly being very friendly and chatty and coming to visit me when I had some money. Some people really do and really WILL come after you if you have money, when they normally wouldn't have had anything to do with you. I have never been able to fathom the brazenness of them.

pollypenny

I don't understand why someone who hadn't bothered with you for such a long time would even stay, especially at a time of bereavement.

Just ensure that you are with your mum when the cousin calls and take her aside, quietly if needed. Sounds as if your mum is on to her, though.



Edit: just seen that she is staying at your mum's again. Odd! Watch her!

couponqueen123

FatVonD wrote: »

Thanks all, I'm not a great lover of confrontation and didn't know how heavy handed to be if I did broach it but on the other hand I kind of feel like not saying something could be perceived as a sign of weakness (she is very bold and brassy while I am naturally quite shy though if annoyed my shyness goes out of the window!)

I called my mum earlier and checked whether she has broached the subject of the £1,000 again (she arrived last night and is staying until Sunday which is when I will see her) and she hasn't so hopefully she has got the message. I know my mum is annoyed she asked and I think the only reason she offered the £200 was because she regretted giving her the handbag when she said she'd like it (my mum was offering to buy her something, she meant a jumper or something but cousin said she would like this particular bag.)

me personally i would get the bag back and not give the £200 and send her on her merry way with no guilt the girl is a worm coming out the wood work after 13 years i smell a rat and you should tell her now

FatVonD

Just to say, although my mum hadn't SEEN her for 13 years they did occasionally exchange letters and the odd phone call so not quite as bad as I've made her sound!

FatVonD

She does however have some 'previous' though not quite the same... she was in a year-long relationship with someone 15 years her senior who died (she is the same age as me, 54.) He died and apparently told her on his death bed where money was hidden in his house and to take it, leave the house and not go back. His children were up in arms and wouldn't let her go to his funeral. The £1,000 she wanted to borrow from my mum was supposed to be paid back when someone that owes the ex partner a much larger amount pays back (to her) what he owed him.

She could of course have genuinely loved him but he died in May and since then she has had an affair with her sister's husband so I'm thinking not :eek:

thorsoak

"Touch - 10ft bargepole -do not" are words that come to mind here!

Your mum would be wise to discourage this relative.

RobotsinDisguse

She's 54! Gee, she sounded about 24!!

I'm sorry for your loss OP, and hope this cousin leaves quietly. I'd be tempted to check the silverware etc as she goes, but I'm suspicious.

HPoirot

FatVonD, 13 years of the odd letter, and now she comes to stay the weekend? I would discourage that too, looks like she's hoping to catch your mum unawares / put her in a situation where she can't refuse, at some point during these visits.

As for the husband's dying words, what a load of ****:rotfl:, such a weak plotline lol.

ETA hang on, she'd only been with him for a year :eek: good grief.

pol-zeath

What a cheek - I would not part with a penny. This cousin has taken advantage of your mum's vulnerable state.

You should not have to buy back something your cousin should not have taken in the first place. You and your mother have not seen her for 13 years so it will be no loss if you don't see her for another 13.

Tell her to "sling her hook" as they say.