Help with access to see my little boy

leftinamess

I am writing this with a slight lump in my throat in the Hope someone can help without me having to throw money I haven't got at solicitors..........


I have a little boy from an ex relationship but unfortunately my ex has decided to start using me seeing him as a weapon and wont respond to my texts or phone calls.


Is there anything I can do without having to go to solicitors?

thorsoak

Are you paying maintenance voluntarily or through CSA?

BitterAndTwisted

If the ex isn't concerned about the best interests of the child you share maintaining a meaningful relationship with its father, then there's very little you can do apart from going down the legal route.

Usually, when people start using their kids as a weapon it's in order to extricate something from the other parent. What is it that she wants from you: money, you stop harassing her, what?

How about you stop texting and phoning and put pen to paper? Explain that your only concern is maintaining a good relationship with your child by being able to see him regularly and that any other issues are merely secondary. That you would walk over hot coals for him, and that you would be happy to use an intermediary for contact if she doesn't want to to see you face-to-face.

leftinamess

thorsoak wrote: »

Are you paying maintenance voluntarily or through CSA?

voluntarily

leftinamess

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

If the ex isn't concerned about the best interests of the child you share maintaining a meaningful relationship with its father, then there's very little you can do apart from going down the legal route.

Usually, when people start using their kids as a weapon it's in order to extricate something from the other parent. What is it that she wants from you: money, you stop harassing her, what?

How about you stop texting and phoning and put pen to paper? Explain that your only concern is maintaining a good relationship with your child by being able to see him regularly and that any other issues are merely secondary. That you would walk over hot coals for him, and that you would be happy to use an intermediary for contact if she doesn't want to to see you face-to-face.

Hi thanks for your response.....


Its been very much the other way round. I left her about five months ago when she showed her true colours and ever since I have been bombarded with texts and phone calls up until I asked her to stop harassing me, She has now gone to the other extreme of ignoring me as she knows this is the only way to get a reaction.

Bublin1

When she was bombarding you with calls and texts, what were your responses? During this time did you try and be civil and arrange contact with your son or were insults thrown back and forth?

Mojisola

leftinamess wrote: »

voluntarily

Do you have a very clear paper trail showing that the money you are giving her is for child support?

Have a look at the fathers' support sites - like https://www.fnf.org.uk/ or https://www.separateddads.co.uk/supportforseparatedfathers.html

Unfortunately, there are many who have had the experience you are going through.

krok

Sorry about your circumstances. I had same problem but now solved.

You will have to take your x to court to gain access if she wont let you have voluntary access.
You will not be able to get legal aid anymore so the first thing to do is write to your x and say that if she doesnt give you access then you will be taking her to court.
If you dont get a positive responce then you will have to first find the nearest mediation services and book an appointment. You will have to pay a sum for this unless you are on benefits. They will write to your x to attend but she doesnt have to.
If you get no joy from this your next step would be to take the matter to court. You do not need a solicitor for any of these actions.

Hope it all gets sorted.

leftinamess

Mojisola wrote: »

Do you have a very clear paper trail showing that the money you are giving her is for child support?

Have a look at the fathers' support sites - like www.fnf.org.uk/ or www.separateddads.co.uk/supportforseparatedfathers.html

Unfortunately, there are many who have had the experience you are going through.

bank statements with a set amount each month going out.

pmlindyloo

Have got parental responsibility?

As well as the other websites suggested there is a very useful guide here:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_relationship_problems_e/ending_a_relationship_when_you_re_living_together.htm

leftinamess

Bublin1 wrote: »

When she was bombarding you with calls and texts, what were your responses? During this time did you try and be civil and arrange contact with your son or were insults thrown back and forth?

I knew it would always get messy because of the type of person she is so I kept it civil