We're all moneysavers - but have you left a partner for being too frugal?

Toucan_Pecan

So we're all money savers - but has anyone here left their partner for being financially miserly/frugal/stingy/cheap? How did your partner's miserliness affect you and why did you have a problem with it?

Curious to hear all your stories!

thorsoak

You aren't still on about the miserly Yank are you, Toucan???? He shouldn't be your concern!

Toucan_Pecan

thorsoak wrote: »

You aren't still on about the miserly Yank are you, Toucan???? He shouldn't be your concern!

No, just want to hear about others' experiences!

Soleil_lune

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

So we're all money savers - but has anyone here left their partner for being financially miserly/frugal/stingy/cheap? How did your partner's miserliness affect you and why did you have a problem with it?

Curious to hear all your stories!

I have no story sorry.

BUT in the early 2000s, one of my ex-colleagues left her hubby. (They had 2 kids and 18 years together.) She wasn't working (as she raising their kids,) and he kept all the money he earned to himself, (apart from 'allowing' her and the kids basics.) All his overtime went on himself and his hobbies and interests, while she and the kids had virtually nothing.

He even won some money once on a lottery syndicate - £1500 each - and he put it in HIS bank account. She left him as he was so selfish and thoughtless and mean.

Toucan_Pecan

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I have no story sorry.

BUT in the early 2000s, one of my ex-colleagues left her hubby. (They had 2 kids and 18 years together.) She wasn't working (as she raising their kids,) and he kept all the money he earned to himself, (apart from 'allowing' her and the kids basics.) All his overtime went on himself and his hobbies and interests, while she and the kids had virtually nothing.

He even won some money once on a lottery syndicate - £1500 each - and he put it in HIS bank account. She left him as he was so selfish and thoughtless and mean.

Sounds like some kind of horrid cave-man....

Soleil_lune

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

Sounds like some kind of horrid cave-man....

You'd be surprised TP, at the amount of men who have behaved towards women like this, especially younger ones. I have heard similar tales from quite a few women. Men earning more, and wanting to keep 'their' money.

Saturnalia

Yep, I spent a couple of years with a man who was just utterly mean. He worked, I was a student. He lived in a cheap bedsit and drove an ancient car, his non-work clothes were just about rags, he didn't have any expensive stuff or pricy hobbies, but pleaded poverty. I can count on one hand the number of times he even bought some groceries. If I wanted to go out and do anything with him, I'd have to pay as he claimed he couldn't afford to.

I never sussed out where his money was going. Looking back, there must have been either massive debts (but he had nothing to show for it) or some other kind of expensive habit (but that would have been hard to conceal as we spent so much time together)... no idea what was going on there.

paulineb_2

No but Ive left people for being the opposite, never having a penny to their name the day after payday. Thats not the only reason but was a big part of it.

pukkamum

My mil did it to her family, fil was working long hours at a factory she was working too but she kept them basically in poverty.

Dinner every night was chips, presents always second hand, no holidays, no luxuries the list goes on.

When they eventually split up she paid him out with cash on a house worth 150k and proceeded to take foreign holidays etc.

Pukkadad was an adult by them then and watched his younger siblings hace all the above after years of poverty.

Turns out she had been putting away every spare penny.

Pukkadad and his dad were devastated by her actions and still hold a lot of resentment.

I'm all for moneysaving but when its to the detriment of your family its totally wrong.

marleyboy

Complete opposite for us. It was our shop savvy ways and frugal style of living that brought us together.

Albeit we are both moneysavers, we are neither penny pinchers or misers. We are merely careful on what we spend.

Hermia

Soleil_lune wrote: »

I have no story sorry.

BUT in the early 2000s, one of my ex-colleagues left her hubby. (They had 2 kids and 18 years together.) She wasn't working (as she raising their kids,) and he kept all the money he earned to himself, (apart from 'allowing' her and the kids basics.) All his overtime went on himself and his hobbies and interests, while she and the kids had virtually nothing.

He even won some money once on a lottery syndicate - £1500 each - and he put it in HIS bank account. She left him as he was so selfish and thoughtless and mean.

My mum had a friend who left her husband who wouldn't give her any money despite the fact he was a high earner and had wanted her to be a SAHM. He wouldn't even give her any money for tampons and she was reduced to having to stick wads of toilet paper in her knickers!

I haven't left anyone for being frugal, but I do know people who are way too frugal and would be a nightmare to live with.