Legal pro's and cons of getting married..

kazdaz22

I don't think it would change anything on a day to day basis, or in terms of how we feel about each other etc etc. I would like to though as I'd prefer to have children in wedlock and have the security, I do hope that one day he will do it for me but its not the be all and everything. He doesn't currently have any assets/ pension that I would like to get my hands on so I don't think that is such an issue! :-)

lostinrates

kazdaz22 wrote: »

I don't think it would change anything on a day to day basis, or in terms of how we feel about each other etc etc. I would like to though as I'd prefer to have children in wedlock and have the security, I do hope that one day he will do it for me but its not the be all and everything. He doesn't currently have any assets/ pension that I would like to get my hands on so I don't think that is such an issue! :-)

Well, if you buy a house he 'll have his part of the equity in that. He'll have his work pension. There is also a widowed parents allowance I believe, relevant in another rather depressing scenario, but worth anyone thinking about being a parent thinking about in order to best provide security to their children.

DaveTheMus

who said romance was dead??!?

CRANKY40

I was widowed aged 42. I get a pension from my late husband's pension scheme and so does my son. I also get widowed parents allowance and was entitled to a bereavement grant. My friend who wasn't married to the father of her baby got sod all when her boyfriend was killed, not even the money they had saved for a house deposit which was unfortunately in an account in his name.

lostinrates

DaveTheMus wrote: »

who said romance was dead??!?

The person who was happy not to plan for their future.



By making sure the boxes are ticked I find I can relax and we have a superbly romantic marriage. .

If you are both on the same page about not being married that's fine too, but if you are a planner, and some one who likes to ensure you have done what you can for security then why fight it because it doesn't fit in with someone else's idea of 'romance?'

I'd say romantic is a relationship who as well as being spontaneous and loving and thrilling also meets each others emotional and practical needs.

Tashatutuw

I was in a similar position to you OP (although we haven't been together that long). OH didn't feel that it would make a difference to us and was 'a bit pointless' and I felt it made all the difference.

I also put my 'argument' across from a legal point of view, taxes, pensions, next of kins, legal rights over children in the case of a split or a death of either of us as well as the fact that essentially, it was very important to me before we had children (same as krustylouise I didn't fancy a different surname to my kids) and he saw my point of view. We are getting married in August. If it is important to you, he will recognise that and hopefully, that will be enough to sway him.

Seanymph

CRANKY40 wrote: »

I was widowed aged 42. I get a pension from my late husband's pension scheme and so does my son. I also get widowed parents allowance and was entitled to a bereavement grant. My friend who wasn't married to the father of her baby got sod all when her boyfriend was killed, not even the money they had saved for a house deposit which was unfortunately in an account in his name.

Read this twice. then show it to your boyfriend.

Tigsteroonie

krustylouise wrote: »

For me, it's not a legal thing, but having a different surname to my child is difficult.

I solved this easily by changing my name by Deed Poll to that of my OH & son! People now presume we are married

Okydoky25

It was never about money for us. We wanted our children to have our name not just his. On a personal level we both also felt it was a life long commitment just the same as having children. If we wasn't ready for marriage we wasn't ready for kids.

jackyann

Regarding kids:
A child born to a married woman is presumed to be her husband's unless she states otherwise (and they do ask!) so she can register the birth and they have joint parental responsibility.

An unmarried father must be present at the registration so that they both declare him the father in order for him to have parental responsibility (then it's just the same) - oh and there are special set-ups for those in prison, on duty with armed forces etc!

As previously said, look seriously at life insurance & pension arrangements - more important to be secure if you are helping a child to grieve as well as yourself.

If you are married, you have the option to be taxed as an individual - I always have been.