Looking for someone, but finding it hard!

100saving

Hello everyone,

I'm looking for some advice. I am 22 and never had a girlfriend! I know what your going to say..

I think I'm ok looking, no model but always make an effort to look good. I'm a fit guy who works-out a lot not a bodybuilder but toned.

I have never been that interested in a relationship but the last few years everyone I know is meeting people and I'm just on the side lines. I want to meet someone that i can have a relationship, go on holiday with, share things with and one day a few kids with.

I'm finding it hard as whenever i go out i see people look at me and i look at them but thats as far as it ever goes. i just don't have it in me to go up and talk to them. what do i say? i have never really tried to chat up a women or whatever you call it and tbh i have no idea what to do!

all i know is I'm passing thought life and feel lonely but can't get out of this rut. everyone keeps asking if i have met anyone and when i see other people so happy and i have no one!

has anyone been in this place before?

bluebeary

dont panic, youre only 22 and have years ahead of you, do you have any female work colleagues or friends who you can practice conversation starters with, they will be able to help you

maybe join some meet up groups in your area so you can meet people with similar interests to yourself and you can chat to them about things that interest you both

you dont need someone to complete you, just be yourself and chat to whoever you meet and have a laugh, you dont have to be in a relationship just because everyone else is

krlyr

Well, not much is going to happen just through looking!

I know it may be a bit of an outdated view, but I know lots of woman expect a guy to make the first move. If you're waiting for a girl to walk over and ask you on a date, you may be waiting a while.

But if it's out of your comfort zone, maybe consider other ways to meet girls and be in a position to talk to them and progress to a date. Joining classes at your gym could be a way to meet a like-minded girl, or attending another class or group situation (any other hobbies that could encorporate this?)

Alternatively, how about trying a dating site? You'll know that the girls on there are (for the most part) single and looking, and it's less pressure to drop someone a message than walk over and talk.

shebangs

I dont think you should worry at 22 you have years left to find someone :-) but if you want to meet someone you don't really need chat up lines.

The best way to find someone who likes you for who you are is to find them doing something you really like to do so join some clubs you are interested in or go to a few events you would enjoy then just speak to people including women then if you get the feeling a girl is interested you have nothing to lose in asking them for coffee, if they say no then you have lost nothing in asking.

Just be you and you will meet someone its more the opportunity you need to create the rest will then fall into place.

Padstow

I would suggest not looking for a partner, but friends. The best relationships often start from shared interests.

Two that come to mind, though I'm sure others here will know more, are "Spice" and "Meet Up." Sorry I'm rubbish at links, but Google them. Neither are dating agencies. As you live in London there is a wealth of opportunities but increased competition.

Be flexible in what to join in with, and try never to turn down an invitation. After all, the girl that doesn't appeal may have a sister that does! The bloke having a party ... go. It's all about widening your circle of friends.

As you seem a sensitive man, I would steer clear of internet dating. Some of the replies to friendly requests I read about, are horrendous and only for the thick skinned.

Good luck and come back to keep us updated on your new friends.

shebangs

I agree with Padstow ! just make friends and the love stuff will come from that

theoretica

Let your friends know you would like a bit of help? If they are asking if you have met anyone that is the perfect chance to say something about welcoming introductions.

Padstow

I've reread your OP and see that you'd like to travel with a companion.

I'm going to try singles holidays this year, maybe Cuba. I'm old enough to be your granny, but these holidays cater for all ages and are definitely not for dating, although they may result in such.
Some you can choose an age group, Personally I like all age groups, wider the better.
What they might think about me is another matter!

Again Google "singles holidays".

Padstow

bluebeary wrote: »

dont panic, youre only 22 and have years ahead of you, do you have any female work colleagues or friends who you can practice conversation starters with, they will be able to help you

maybe join some meet up groups in your area so you can meet people with similar interests to yourself and you can chat to them about things that interest you both

you dont need someone to complete you, just be yourself and chat to whoever you meet and have a laugh, you dont have to be in a relationship just because everyone else is

I agree. There is something very attractive about those who aren't looking, which is maybe why the old adage, "When you don't look, it comes to you."

DKLS

Sound like you need some help OP, I suggest you go on one of those how to attract women workshops that are advertised in the mens mags.


From what I have learnt from friends who are sexually successful its all down to confidence, looks, wealth etc are unimportant.

Georgiegirl256

DKLS wrote: »

Sound like you need some help OP, I suggest you go on one of those how to attract women workshops that are advertised in the mens mags.

Such things exist? Wow! Sounds like a money making scheme set up to exploit the vulnerable. Workshops on how to attract women, I've heard everything now!

OP, like others have said, a good way for a relationship to develop is to be good friends with a person first. Is there are classes you can go to, or clubs you can join perhaps?