Ex asking for more money, now threatening stopping kids seeing me.

ubergeek69

Good evening everyone, not exactly the first post I wanted to do but I'm at a bit of a loss. Story is my ex and myself separated quite a while ago with the divorce finally coming through last year. Initially when I moved out, I continued to pay the mortgage even though I wasn't living in the home anymore. I couldn't afford the mortgage on my salary so the choice was for me to leave and sign over the house to her, which I did. I received nothing from the house financially, to be honest I wasn't interested as I wanted the kids to continue in what they knew as "the family home" and I'm not a materialistic person. I started paying maintenance for my kids worked out using their calculator which I pay via my bank so there is a "paper trail" if anything were to happen. I have also been paying for an overdraft we had together which adds another £50, plus I try and help for school trips, uniforms etc. I have the kids with me every weekend, picking them up friday evening and dropping them off again sunday evening, we split the school holidays between us. She started a new job recently whereby she is placing my son with a childminder, she told me that I am to pay half of the costs. I have already stated that I am on a low salary and can't really afford anymore money, this went in one ear and straight out of the other. This has now escalated to my ex phoning my daughter today and telling her that "if your dad doesn't pick you two up on friday from school and drop you off on monday, them I'm going to stop him seeing you". Obviously this made my daughter incredibly upset (She's 13, son is 7). I've been following some of the threads on here where some people have been in my situation and have been stopped from seeing their kids and the CSA have stepped in only to dramatically increase their maintenance payments, I'm now worried that she is going down this route. Is there anything I can do with regards the CSA or is it just a case of lumping it with whatever amount they deem I should pay even if its her that's denying me access to my kids ? It's wholly unfair whereby I am doing everything I can but as soon as she decides she doesn't like how things are working out, she stops the kids from seeing me and it's me being penalized both from the kids point of view and financially

mania112

If she goes to the CSA, you'll need to pay 20% of your salary, minus a small deduction because you look after the kids regularly.

Anything above this is your own choice and the CSA will not extra money beyond this to pay for childminders.

The CSA aren't involved in legal issues regarding access to the children, that's a separate issue. You could speak to a solicitor about sorting it out before it gets worse.

CSAworkerx

If you used our calculator then your paying what you need to pay, So if she does put a claim in, Youll be no worse off, However we do not deal with acsess, you'd need to speak to a trained professional to sort that out.

notanewuser

mania112 wrote: »

If she goes to the CSA, you'll need to pay 20% of your salary, minus a small deduction because you look after the kids regularly.



.

It won't be a small deduction if he's having them 3 nights a week and splitting school holidays!!

ubergeek69

notanewuser wrote: »

It won't be a small deduction if he's having them 3 nights a week and splitting school holidays!!

Hi, sorry but I don't understand what you mean ?

notanewuser

ubergeek69 wrote: »

Hi, sorry but I don't understand what you mean ?

The CSA say you must pay 20% of net income but that's based on you not having the children overnight. If you have them for 2 nights every week then 2/7ths is knocked off. If you're having them for 3 nights a week plus half the school holidays then you're looking at a reduction of 180 days (ish) or half the year. So you'd pay half of the 20% (and not be expected to pay any more than that).

iammumtoone

but the OP stays his ex is going to stop him seeing his children meaning he would have to pay the full 20%. OP I suggest you work out what 20% is and base your calculations on that as it will be the worse case.

What percentage do you actually pay her? If you are already paying 20% you might point out to her that she will be worse off doing what she proposes as the children will cost her more if she has them full time.

notanewuser

The OP didn't say he wasn't going to have them from Friday to Monday.......

ubergeek69

notanewuser wrote: »

The CSA say you must pay 20% of net income but that's based on you not having the children overnight. If you have them for 2 nights every week then 2/7ths is knocked off. If you're having them for 3 nights a week plus half the school holidays then you're looking at a reduction of 180 days (ish) or half the year. So you'd pay half of the 20% (and not be expected to pay any more than that).

Oooooh, I understand now, thanks for clearing that up. I was is a state of confusion for a bit there

ubergeek69

notanewuser wrote: »

The OP didn't say he wasn't going to have them from Friday to Monday.......

Hi, I do have them from Friday to Sunday evening (with the occasional school drop off on a monday morning) and that won't change unless the ex does something stupid like stopping me from seeing the kids which she has threatened.

ubergeek69

iammumtoone wrote: »

but the OP stays his ex is going to stop him seeing his children meaning he would have to pay the full 20%. OP I suggest you work out what 20% is and base your calculations on that as it will be the worse case.

What percentage do you actually pay her? If you are already paying 20% you might point out to her that she will be worse off doing what she proposes as the children will cost her more if she has them full time.

Hi, I currently pay her what the CSA have told me, I phoned them and got them to work it out for me based on my current earnings. If I do have to pay the 20% it will add another £160 (ish) a month on top of what I pay. It'll be hard but I could just manage, it just means making sacrifices.